BP's Series of Comedy One Shots
by Brian Powell
Summary: Had a rough day at school, work or whatever? Then take a look at these oneshots. Each oneshot is inspired by famous cartoon characters, comedy characters, etc.
1. That Pesky Pichu!

**That Pesky Pichu!**

In a Team Rocket base, the familiar trio were scrubbing around the floors of the corridor near an office. Yep, you guessed it. They were Jesse, James and Meowth, and as usual, one of them had to open their mouth.

"I don't why we have to the scrubbing instead of doing a real job," James complained.

"Cos, pea-brain," Jesse muttered back. "The boss has had enough of us trying to catch that twerp's pikachu… coming from my view it's the fault of you two!"

James and Meowth became shocked of her criticism. "Hey!" Meowth shouted. "At least we're da ones doin' ALL da hard work while someone just sits on her lazy behind and bark orders!"

Before Jesse could make a comeback at that remark, obviously being angered by that, a voice stopped their arguing. "Hey!"

The trio turned to the voice's attention. "What?" they shouted in an annoyed tone.

"Hey! Chill out!" said the man, also in Team Rocket uniform, only he was wearing black with a hat shading his eyes. "Just wondering if you guys saw this Pichu running around?"

The trio became puzzled. "No," Jesse replied. "Why would you want to look for a Pichu in this building?"

"That little rat ate my lunch!" the grunt snarled angrily. "When I find that little creep, I'm gonna bust his head in!"

As he politely walked passed his teammates while grumbling angrily, the trio continued scrubbing the floor, somehow forgetting their argument. They soon noticed a little baby mouse walking passed them, making black footprints on the floor, much to the trio's shock.

"Aw, great!" Meowth complained. "He left dose black markin's!"

"It doesn't matter, Meowth," James replied as he dipped the brush into the bucket. "It's just a baby pokemon, besides we haven't scrubbed this part yet."

"Yeah, but…" Meowth said but he became even more shocked as he saw James unnoticeably scrubbed some black paint on the floor. "DAH! James! Jesse! Look!"

His two human comrades looked at what James did and the jaw of their mouths dropped to the floor and bounced back to normal. "Dat little critter must've switched buckets without us noticin'!" Meowth yelled.

Pichu stuck his tongue out, taunting the trio. "C'mon back here, you twerp!" Jesse snarled as she grabbed the bucket with the paint in it, attempting to hit Pichu with it. But she accidentally stepped on a banana skin and began skidding along the floor while Pichu escaped.

She rammed into wall next to a door and accidentally spilt the paint all over herself. As she took the bucket off her head, she and her teammates heard a familiar voice that they feared the most.

A man in a red tuxedo with a face shaded in the shadows walked around a corner. It turned that it was the boss of Team Rocket. Jesse, without being noticed, zoomed next to her boss and instantly pretended to be his shadow.

The boss, without noticing her, mumbled various things as he came to his door to his office and opened it. As he entered and closed the door, Jesse let out of small sigh of relief… until the door quickly opened again and accidentally slamming onto her.

"What? When did this happen?" the boss yelled into his cell phone. "I'll be there right away!"

He slammed the door shut and hurried away. Jesse became incredibly dizzy and fainted with the paint that was covering her now printed on the door and wall.

Meanwhile, James and Meowth were chasing Pichu with mallets in their hands / paws. After spending some time chasing that little rat, James and Meowth decided to split and go into different direction in an attempt to catch Pichu out.

As Meowth stopped to at a corner to look round, Pichu sneakily slipped a Pichu dummy on the cat's tail and quickly ran away.

A few minutes later, Pichu stopped running to take a breather, Meowth looked round another corner and spotted Pichu sitting on the floor. "Gotcha now, Pichu," Meowth whispered.

As he slowly walked round that corner, James was coming round that same corner and spotted Pichu… but it turned out to be a fake and he slammed his mallet on Meowth's tail that had the Pichu dummy on it!

Meowth let out a loud scream in pain and then reacted by scratching James's face like an angry cat. "Pi he he! Pichu Pichu!" Pichu squeaked, which meant. "He he he! What dummies!"

With that, he playfully ran away.

After minutes of recuperating, they decided to set a trap for the little rat. First, they had to find a hole of where Pichu would be hiding if it wasn't stealing food from them. In no time at all, they spotted a small hole in a wall, indicating that it was Pichu's mouse hole.

They drew an X on the floor and placed an anvil on it. They then tied a rope around the heavy objest and managed to lift it up using a hook on the ceiling for leverage while hiding around the corner. Meowth, being creepy, placed a small piece of cheese on the cross for Pichu and tapped on the mouse hole and quickly zoomed back to his teammates to help them hold on to the rope.

As expected, Pichu came out of his hole and saw the cheese and began drooling at it, but he also spotted a foot around the corner, immediately seeing it as a trap. So, it zoomed back into the hole and came out holding a pizza box.

The Rocket saw what Pichu was holding and became curious of what it was. They began to smell something delicious coming from the box.

"Ah…" James moaned in a pleasant way. "Pineapple, ham, cheese…"  
"Pepperoni, pepper, tomato…" Jesse continued.  
"Not to mention anchovies…" Meowth said while drooling uncontrollably.

Pichu quickly replaced the cheese with the pizza box and zoomed back into his hole. Coincidentally, a siren sounded, indicating that it was…

"Lunch time!" the trio yelled as they ran to the pizza box… completely forgetting of what they were holding onto as the anvil crashed right top of them, creating big holes on each incoming floor!

A few hours later, everyone of the Team Rocket base was called up to go the roof of the base. "There it is!" the boss yelled. "The legendary Zapdos!"

His flunkies were standing in line behind him as they each held a bazooka gun each. In particular, Jesse, James and Meowth who were bandaged and stitched up caused by their mishap in their trap earlier on.

"That pizza box had nothing in it!" Jesse snarled in thought. "Not even a crumb!"

Suddenly, a Wobbuffet released itself from her pokeball and yelled out its name, catching the trio's attention. "Wobbuffet!" it cried.

"Don't you start!" Jesse snarled, unaware that Pichu was in the scene.

The little mouse spotted a piece of rope on the floor and looked at Wobbuffet.

Meanwhile, the Lightning Bird pokemon was soaring through the sky as it screeched suspiciously at Team Rocket. "Get ready to aim!" the boss ordered.

His flunkies did as he commanded as they aimed they bazookas at Zapdos, while Wobbuffet looked down on Pichu while it was motioning that it wanted Wobbuffet to hold the rope.

Curious of what Pichu wanted to do, Wobbuffet grabbed hold of the rope. "FIRE!" the boss's voice shouted. Everyone did as he instructed as they fired out their bazookas, which were small spears with ropes tied to them.

The trio turned to Wobbuffet as it was still holding the rope and wondered what the rope was tied to. After a few seconds, they finally knew that the rope was tied to one of the spears.

"WOBBUFFET!" they cried as they tried to get the blue blob to let go of the rope… but as they grabbed it the spear dragged them along with it!

Almost all of the spears missed the legendary pokemon but one of was able to wrap around Zapdos's leg, but it managed to escape and flew away… along with the trio and Wobbuffet that was hanging on to the rope!

"Come back with my pokemon!" the boss yelled.  
"Sorry, boss! But we're flying off again!" the trio cried.  
"Wobbuffet!" the blue blob cried.

Elsewhere, Pichu was sitting comfortably in his mouse hole as it heard the screaming of the trio and gave a small sigh. "Pichu! Pichu!" it squeaked randomly, which meant, "I like those guys."

So, what do ya guys think? R&R please!

A/N: This one-shot is inspired by a famous cartoon duo, if anyone can guess you get a free cookie!


	2. A Real Blasting Off

**A Real Blasting Off (Team Rocket comedy one-shot fic)**

It was a sunny afternoon in a forest of the Hoenn Region. Meowth laid a laptop computer that he stole from one of the previous towns, on the ground and gained access to the Internet.

His two teammates, Jesse and James, noticed what he was doing and walked over.

"Meowth, what are you looking at?" James asked curiously as he looked at the screen. lookin' fa sumtin'…" Meowth mumbled, then he became excited. "Dah! Found it!"

Meowth showed the screen to Jesse and James and pointed to the product that he was looking for.

"A ten-foot missile launcher?" Jesse said in a surprised tone. "Why would anyone want to sell that?"

"Does it matter?" Meowth said. "Wiv dis, we can get rid of da twerps once and fa all!"

"And what about Pikachu?" James asked, trying to catch Meowth out.

"Way ahead of ya," Meowth replied smugly as he showed another product, which showed a small electronic gadget. "It's called a Sphere Catacher X2000. Depending on what ya wanna catch, using its remote control, dis gadget will help us get it. The plan is that we can use dis to steal Pikachu from the twerp and then use the missile launcher to make da rest of da twerps blast off instead of us."

"That's brilliant, Meowth!" Jesse said, liking the idea. "Of course, I was going to suggest that myself."

Meowth continued using the computer as he clicked on various tick boxes. "Let's see," he mumbled. "Yes… yes… pay by card, I tink I'll use James's bank account… free gift wrap? Oh, I like dat… delivered… within a month, overnight, or instantly… instantly of course!"

As soon as he clicked on the 'instantly' tick box, a huge crate fell and squashed on all three of the Rocket Trio! Meowth's paw managed to slip out of the bottom of the crate as held up a sign that said, "Dat's gonna hurt tomorrow."

A Wobbuffet popped out of nowhere and placed its paw on its head in a saluting manner. "Wobbuffet!"

It didn't take them long to set up the Missile Launcher and the Sphere Catcher (Well, James and Meowth were the only members doing the hard work while Jesse gave out orders). James looked at the targeting part of the missile launcher and spotted five familiar figures taking a nap, mainly a Pikachu. "Double ha!" James said. "They're all asleep!"

"Dis is great!" Meowth said as he grabbed a remote control. "Now to start up the catcher!"

The catcher moved swiftly as it floated up into the air, with Meowth using the controller to control it. He looked at a monitor connected to the controller that was viewing what the catcher was spying on, and it didn't take long for them to reach their target.

The gadget hovered over Pikachu and formed a sphere around it, trying to not to wake it up. The catcher then traveled back to Team Rocket. "Now's your chance Jimmy Boy!" Meowth whispered, trying not to wake Pikachu up. "Fire the missile!"

"Like you said, Meowth," James said excitedly and smugly. "Way ahead of ya!"

He fired the missile out of the ten-foot missile launcher and it shot out into the sky. He, Jesse and Meowth took out their respective binoculars and looked the missile with them. "It's going! It's going!" Jesse said excitedly.

"Wait a minute," Meowth said in a down tone. "It's comin'…"

Before anyone can say another word, the missile crushed right on top of them! "Dat's gonna hurt tomorrow," Meowth muffled.

Suddenly, the missile exploded! The force of the explosion destroyed the catcher and sent Pikachu flying, landing into its trainer's lap, waking everyone up. The Pikachu's trainer looked down on it.

"Hey, buddy," the trainer said happily yet sleepily as he stroked its fur. "Had a good sleep?"

"Pika," Pikachu squeaked happily.

Back at Team Rocket's location, there was a big hole with them in it. Jesse and James lay unconsciously on the ground, covered in soot and had swirly eyes on their faces. Meowth stood up, still feeling dizzy from the explosion. "I tink I need a day off tomorrow," he said in a giddy tone.

"So do we," Jesse and James said in unison as they slowly sat up.

Suddenly, a ball fell into the hole and looked at them mischievously. "Voltorb!" it cried.

"VOLTORB!" the trio cried in shock. The voltorb glowed vigorously and exploded, sending Team Rocket flying!

"We're blasting off… AGAIN!" the trio cried as Wobbuffet came out of nowhere and folded its forelegs.

"Wobbuffet!" it cried as they flew far away into the distance until they were out of sight.


	3. Only Fools and More Fools

Only Fools and More Fools

"What am I going to do with you three!" shouted a man in a red tux, yelling at our favourite yet villainous trio, Jesse, James and Meowth, who were standing with their heads hanging low. They were all inside the boss's office for obvious reasons. "You've been zapped a kid's Pikachu! You've been squashed by sleeping Snorlax! You've been run over by hordes of Tauros!"

As he kept on yelling at them, the trio were waiting to receive their punishment. Suddenly, the phone rang, catching their boss's attention. He picked up the phone to answer it.

"Hello?" he asked politely. His calmed face changed into anger again. "What? What do you mean you changed the date!" he shouted. "I've got guests coming into my office next week and all I'm asking for you to do is to fix the chandelier of my office! Fine! You'll be hearing it from my men!"

He angrily slammed his phone down on the table, breaking it to pieces, much to his and the trio's shock. The boss let out a small sigh out of stress.

"Sir?" Jesse said as he looked at the two chandeliers. "What's wrong with chandeliers?"

The boss gave her an angry stare. "Chandelier!" he corrected as he pointed at one of them. "I don't think much of its appearance. It appears that needs more diamonds to give it more sparkle."

The trio looked at each other and smiled a big one. "We'll do it!" they cried. "We are into creativity!" Jesse said enthusiastically.

The boss gave this some thought. "Very well," he answered. "I'll give you three one more chance to redeem yourselves. Do well and you three can be my new decorators. If not, the Water Bridge!"

"We'll do our best!" the trio said enthusiastically.

"You better do your best!" the boss warned. "Now go and get some equipment and don't come back until you do!"

With that, the trio ran out of the office. "But watch out!" the boss warned. "There's two Machoke moving a safe out there, I don't want you three to…"

Before he could say another word, a huge thud was heard from outside. "Very well!" the boss said. "But be careful with our captured Voltorb out there, because…"

He suddenly became interrupted by sounds of huge explosions outside. The boss let out a small sigh and whispered, "Suppose I should mention the horde of Tauros…"

As he expected, a horde of bull pokemon ran across his office. He let out another small sigh. "Well, it's tough being the boss," he said.

A few hours later, the trio were back in the boss's office while the boss was out. They were now wearing carpenter clothing as they set up ladders around the chandelier that needed fixing. Jesse then released her Wobbuffet from its pokeball.

"Look here," Jesse said as she held a piece of paper close to Wobbuffet. It was a drawing of two chandeliers. One of them was circled. "One of them has a circle around it," she continued. "It shows that that's the chandelier we're going to fix. Got it?"

"Wobba!" Wobbuffet replied, sounding that it understood.

"Your job is to go to the upper floor and screw its bolt using these equipment," Jesse continued as she pointed to a bag full of it. "Now get going!"

"Wobbuffet!" Wobbuffet said as it saluted to her. It then took the drawing just in case it forgets, picked up the equipment bag and made its way up.

As Wobbuffet left, the trio then held a huge cloth to help support the chandelier when Wobbuffet would do his part of the job.

As Wobbuffet entered a room in the upper floor, a familiar small yellow mouse 'accidentally' bumped into him, making him drop the equipment and the drawing. "Pichu pichu," the pichu squeaked apologetically. It was a baby Pichu with a collar with a tag with the word 'Jerry' on it.

It helped Wobbuffet pick up all the equipment and drawing and gave them all back to Wobbuffet. "Wobbuffet," Wobbuffet said thankfully as Pichu left. Little did Wobbuffet notice, that Pichu was giving a small snigger as it ran away.

After checking which chandelier Wobuffet had to work on, it got to work, taking off the floorboards until he found bolt that was holding the chandelier underneath. "Wobba wobbuffet!" it yelled. The trio heard Wobbuffet's cried from underneath.

"It said dat it found da bolt," Meowth said, translating what Wobbuffet said.

"For once, it's something right," Jesse said.

"Wobbuffet!" Wobbuffet yelled.

"NO! DON'T UNSCREW DA BOLT YET!" Meowth yelled in an alarmed tone, also making Jesse and James alarmed as they ran underneath the chandelier, holding the huge cloth.

"Just don't unscrew the bolt until we tell you too, you blue blob!" Jesse yelled.

"Wobba!" Wobbuffet responded, which Meowth translated, "Okay."

The trio let a small sigh. "I need the men's room after this," James said. "I'm getting scared for some reason."

They climbed up their respective ladders, still holding onto the cloth. When they were close enough to the ladder, they held the cloth underneath the chandelier, ready to catch it. "Ready when you are, Wobbuffet," James yelled.

"Wobba!" Wobbuffet yelled, which Meowth translated, "Ready!"

Wobbuffet carefully unscrewed the bolt. "Wobbuffet!" it yelled as the bolt came off.

"One more turn," Meowth translated.

"Brace yourselves, you two," Jesse said as they gripped the cloth firmly and sweated with anticipation.

Wobbuffet picked up a hammer from the bag and hit the top part of the chandelier… only it hit the wrong chandelier as it fell and crashed to the floor! The trio heard the crash from the chandelier as they stood on the ladders with shocked looks in their eyes.

They slowly turned their heads round to see the chandelier that was smashed into pieces. They slowly made their way to the floor and looked at it in horror.

As they were looking, Wobbuffet entered the office, looking quite pleased of itself. "Wobba wobbuffet?" it said questionably, which Meowth translated, "What's next?"

"I'm going to make you blast off! That's what'next!" Jesse yelled as her eyes glowed red. The trio began to chase Wobbuffet around the building, while 'Jerry' looked at them from around the corner, sniggering.

"Pi he! Pichu Pi Pichu!" 'Jerry' squeaked happily, which meant. "He he! That switch on the chandeliers was precious!"

It then heard some thudding noises from the background, followed by some screams of the trio. Then came sounds of some explosions, which the trio screamed too as well. Then some loud trampling noise was heard, again, along with the trio screaming.

"Pichu pichu, Pi pi pichu," 'Jerry' squeaked randomly, which meant, "How they fall into these things, I'll never know."


	4. James's Moneymaking Scheme

**James's moneymaking scheme (One-shot comedy fic)**

Jesse, one of the Team Rocket grunts, was walking down one of the Team Rocket corridors as she was on security duty. It was a nice sunny, yet boring, morning as she let out a yawn while stretching. Walking beside her was Meowth, one of her companions, he was also feeling bored about walking around corridors.

"Hey, Jess," Meowth said, trying to make a conversation, even though he was curious of his other companion's whereabouts. "Do ya know where Jimmy is?"

"Last time I checked, he went out for the night off and hasn't return since," Jesse replied.

"Must've got drunk or sumthin'" Meowth said smugly.

"Hah! James couldn't take one drop of it if his life depended on it," Jesse replied back, also being smugly.

They spotted a familiar boot around a corner of the corridor. It turned to be James, being in such a happy mood and… he had money notes sticking out of different parts of his uniform, much to his teammates curiosity.

"Hello, my friends," James said happily.  
"Hold da fone, Jimmy boy!" Meowth said. "Why have you got all dis money attached to your suit?"

"Oh, I've ran out of room for my wallet," James replied as he took out a pink purse out of his pocket while both his cohorts looked at it with sweatdrops on their foreheads.

"Okay…" Meowth mumbled. "It's a purse…"

"That doesn't matter, Meowth," Jesse said. "James, how on earth did you all that money?"

"Oh, didn't I tell you?" James replied. "I'm selling celebrity autographs."

"Oooooh," Jesse and Meowth said in an impressed tone.

"I know," James said smugly. "I can sell them for a fortune and if someone accuses me of selling fake ones, I can sue them for a fortune."

"Wow!" Jesse said, still being impressed. "Can I look?"

"Cos, you can!" James replied.

"Hey, me too!" Meowth said enthusiastically.

James pulled small out pieces of paper showing different signatures. "There you see… that's Justin Timberlake's," he said as he pointed to the signature, and then he placed that small paper at the back of the pile and continued doing the same to the other pieces.

"Sharon Osbourne, I got hers… Noel Gallagher from Oasis… David Schwimmer… David Beckham… Christina Aguilera…"

"That's not real!" Jesse said.

"Oh, who cares!" James said as he continued. "Will Young… Anthony McPartlin… Declean Donnoly… Jay Leno… Guy Sabastian… Brian Powell… WeirdDutchGuy… VulpixTrainer…"

"Hey! Wait a minnit!" Meowth said, thinking that something was wrong with those signatures, as did Jesse. "Brian Powell? WeirdDutchGuy? VulpixTrainer? Who da heck are dey?"

"I don't know," James replied as he shrugged. "They're probably actors or singers from faraway places."

He continued telling them the names of the 'celebrities'. "WaterBlaster… Prince Izzy X… is that the twerp's signature? Oh well, he does have some fans, Paul Teevan… Talamo Equirez… WeaselDog… Act… I think she's a singer… ah… WH Smith… KFC… J Sainsbury… Ralph Lauren… Ben Sherman… what's this? Coca Cola?"

"You idiot!" Jesse snarled as she snatched the pieces off James's hand. "These aren't autographs! They're cheques! They're cheques that were sent in for the boss's charity fund for disabled kids!"

James and Meowth's eyes widened with shock and worry, but Meowth's eyes turned back to curiosity again. "Wait a minute, Jesse," Meowth said. "We're bad guys. Why would he want to give the cheques away when he can keep them?"

"He's world famous, you moron!" Jesse said as she had a vain throbbing in her head. "He doesn't want to be found out about these bad guy things!"

She flicked through the cheques. "There must be worth thousands and thousands of dollars here!"

"What have I done?" James said in a scared tone. "I'm gonna get thrown off a water bridge or worse! What can I do? Jesse, help me!"

He began whimpering as he grabbed hold of Jesse's arms. "You're going to have to get rid of the evidence yourself!" Jesse snarled as she shoved the cheques back in James's hands.

"How?" James whimpered.

"I don't know! I don't care! Just get rid of them!" Jesse snarled as she stomped off. "And don't tell anyone I know this!"

James looked at Meowth with pleading eyes. "Dat goes double for me!" Meowth said as he sped off in a different direction before James could say anything.

James looked around with scared eyes, hoping to quickly find a garbage disposal or anything to dump the cheques away, but to no avail.

He looked down on the cheques and picked out one of them. He looked at the picked out cheque and stared at it with disgust… but what choice did he have as he stuffed the cheque in his mouth, attempting to eat it.

Half an hour later, James was still eating the cheques but his face showed that he was going to throw up. He heard footsteps and quickly pocketed the last cheque. It turned out that it was two normal Rocket Grunts, wearing hats that shaded their eyes.

"Hi, James," said grunt no.1.

"Hello," James replied, still feeling sick.

"Wanna come out for lunch?" asked grunt no.2.

"I don't feel well," James replied. "Besides, I had a big breakfast, so it should last me through the day."

"Suit yourself," grunt no.2 said as he gave a little shrug.

After they walked passed him, James let out a huge burp as he weakly covered his mouth. "Boy, he DID eat a big breakfast," grunt no.1 said as they continued walking.

"That burp was worth $75,000," James mumbled sickly as he cried anime tears while stuffing the last cheque in his mouth.

END  
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Hope you people like it.


	5. The untalented Team Rocket

After some encouragements from friends and some inspirations, I've finally finished this one-shot.

**The untalented Team Rocket (Another TR Comedy One-shot) Rated U**

Three figures, two humans in Team Rocket uniform and a Meowth were walking down a path using sticks for support, feeling tired and beaten. Yep, it's the famous Team Rocket Trio, Jesse, James and Meowth… obviously. And as usual, they've been going through the same routine – Attempted to steal the same twerp's Pikachu, used a fancy gadget to make their escape but failed anyway, got zapped by Pikachu and finally got blasted off… again.

"Jesse," James moaned. "Is there anything else to do than to get zapped by Pikachu?"

"I hope so, James," Jesse moaned in reply as a town came into view. "We're gonna need more than a massage after what happened today."

They came into town, hoping to find to find somewhere nice to relax. The first place came across was the town hall.

"Hey! Looky here!" Meowth said loudly as he pointed at the poster, which said:

_Talent Contest  
Participants register today at Town Hall  
Perform next week at 8:00pm _

Winner will win $10,000 and a contract deal to make live performances

"Ya read dat?" Meowth said enthusiastically, somehow recovering quickly as he tossed the stick away. "If we win, we get da money!"

"We can quit Team Rocket after this!" Jesse yelled, who also recovered quickly.

"It's beach time for us!" James said as he clenched both his fists enthusiastically.

Suddenly a blue blob pokemon appeared out of nowhere. "Wobbuffet!" it cried.

"After what you've done to us you're not invited, you untalented blob! Return!" Jesse yelled angrily as she took her pokeball out, zapping back her pokemon back into its pokeball.

Little did they know; a few familiar figures would also be participating in the show.

A week passed and all of the participants were getting ready backstage as they were dressed in smart clothing such as tuxedos and dresses. Team Rocket spotted the twerps getting ready for the show, much to their disappointment.

"The twerps!" Jesse said loudly. "If they spot us, we'll be caught for sure!"

"Hey!" shouted a kid's voice. "What are you doing here?"

Team Rocket flinched in shock but turned their attention towards him and gave him some confident smirks. The kid that shouted to them was wearing a tuxedo with a Pikachu on his shoulder. That kid happened to be none other than Ash Ketchum.

"Prepare for trouble," Jesse said, starting Team Rocket's motto.

"Make it double," James continued.

"To protect the world from people with no talent whatsoever."

"To be the most talented ever."

"To be like a Delcatty to catch your tongue."

"To be more talented than Will Young."

"Jesse."

"James."

"Team Rocket! Winning this talent contest at the speed of light."

"Surrender now or you'll be in for a stage fright."

Then Meowth jumped in front of them to finish the motto. "Meowth! That's right!"

Suddenly, a Wobbuffet popped out of nowhere and placed its paw on its head in a saluting manner. "Wobbuffet!" it cried.

"What are you three doing here?" Ash asked suspiciously.

"Didn't you hear us the first time, twerp?" Jesse replied. "We're here to win some money and some popularity."

"Just count yourself lucky dat we ain't here to steal your Pikachu, twerp," Meowth said, pointing at his nemesis.

Ash gnarled his teeth, suspicious of what Team Rocket's plans were. "I'll be watching you," he snarled.

"Alright, people listen up!" shouted a voice, catching everyone's attention. Everyone gasped by looking when they saw him. He was wearing black jeans, black tight t-shirt and black shoes. He also had bushy eyebrows and short black hair. His name was Brian Powell, known for his criticism on people with no talent and for making talented people rich and famous, like Talamo Equirez and some weird dutch guy,as they sold over a million records.

"Yeah, yeah," he said as he waved his hand down in an uncaring way. "Anyways, I, and two other judges, Danielle Dragonfree, and The Pokeplaya, will be judging you guys. A few words of warning - I don't want people with no talent to be here, I don't like time wasters, and I don't like butt kissers. With those said, I wish you all the best of luck."

"He's one of our judges?" James said in a worried tone while Brian left. "He's the most hated man in the entire world."

"I know that," Jesse whispered. "But I wouldn't bother plotting to win. Brian knows talent when he sees one."

"When it comes to talent, she's got a pretty good imagination," Meowth said privately to James.

After many minutes of waiting, Jesse was the first Team Rocket agent to appear on stage. She announced that she would be singing 'Beautiful' by Christina Aguilera because she found herself beautiful.

_Don't look at me every day is so wonderful  
And suddenly, it's hard to breathe  
Now and then, I get insecure  
From all the fame, I'm so ashamed _

I am beautiful no matter what they say  
Words can't bring me down  
I am beautiful in every single way  
Yes, words can't bring me down  
So don't you bring me down today

To all your friends, you're delirious  
So consumed in all your doom  
Trying hard to fill the emptiness  
The piece is gone and the puzzle undone  
That's the way it is

You are beautiful no matter what they say  
Words won't bring you down  
You are beautiful in every single way  
Yes, words won't bring you down  
Don't you bring me down today...

No matter what we do  
(no matter what we do)  
No matter what they say  
(no matter what they say)  
When the sun is shining through  
Then the clouds won't stay  
And everywhere we go  
(everywhere we go)  
The sun won't always shine  
(sun won't always shine)  
But tomorrow will find a way  
All the other times

We are beautiful no matter what they say  
Yes, words won't bring us down  
We are beautiful no matter what they say  
Yes, words can't bring us down  
Don't you bring me down today

Don't you bring me down today  
Don't you bring me down today

After she finished singing she bowed as she waited for some applause from the audience… unfortunately, the crowd was totally silent. The only sounds she heard were someone snoring and some chirping noises, much to her shock.

"Er, Jesse, can you come over a sec?" Brian said, signalling for Jesse to walk over to him. As she got to the judges' panel Brian grasped her hand. Jesse blushed a tinted pink across her face, thinking that she may get a positive comment from one of the hardest judges to impress.

Brian placed a card with a telephone number on her hand and said, "That's my lawyer's phone number," he said in an unimpressed tone. "Call him up and get him to sue your singing tutor. Now off you go."

Jesse's mouth was wide open in shock and rejection. She quickly stomped away in anger while uttering words like, "I'll make you pay for this, Brian!"

"I'm bored," Brian muttered, tapping his pen on his notepad. "I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored."

The next Team Rocket grunt to perform his act was James as he came out on stage with a table with wheels underneath and a cloth covering one side of the table. When he made it to the center of the stage and politely bowed to the audience.

He placed a small cage with a Pidgey locked in on the table. He then placed a diving board with a swimming pool underneath, a bicycle on a tightrope line with two stands connected to the line, and a fiery hoop, all big enough for the small pigeon.

After everything was in place, he opened the cage to release Pidgey to perform the stunts. But Pidgey had plans of its own as it flew away and out of the scene.

After noticing that his performance was a failure, he playfully danced away and off the stage. After a few moments later, James moved his head slightly out, only to have a tomato to land on his face, leaving a huge splat on it.

"My sentiments exactly," Pokeplaya said as Danielle wiped her hands clean with a towel. "Nice shot by the way."

"Thank you," Danielle replied.

"We're gonna take ten minutes after that terrible performance, folks," Brian announced on his microphone. "After the intermission, Ms. May Maple will be playing on the xylophone."

"That twerpy girl? And she'll be playing the xylophone?" Jesse said. "That gives me an idea."

"Which is?" James muffled as he wiped the tomato splat off his face with a towel.

"Put it this way," she replied. "Instead of playing the xylophone, she'll be playing a harp."

She then walked away with an evil laugh while James and Meowth looked on being puzzled.

"I'm off to get some coffee," James said as his tossed away his towel. "I hope it doesn't taste like mud like the way you make it, Meowth."

"Wotcha talkin' about Jimmy?" Meowth said. "It was always mud."

James started to feel queasy when he heard that. "So after all this time I've been drinking hot mud?"

"With sugar," Meowth replied. "Although we've run out of sugar three months ago. Since then I've been using sugar substitute."

"Which is…" James queried, daring himself to know.

"Dandruff."

James felt like he was going to need the men's bathroom as he placed his hand on top of his stomach. "I could add some milk next time… well, saliva," Meowth suggested but James held his hand up.

"No thank you, Meowth, I think you can stop making coffee from now on," James said, having enough of listening to Meowth's list of ingredients. But then he thought of a nasty plan as he showed an evil grin. "But I think I have an idea with that."

In Brian's dressing room, he was reading a magazine when a man dressed in a tea lady's uniform with a pair of funny looking glasses and a cloth wrapped round his mouth and nose came in carrying a notepad.

"Coffee, sir?" the man asked in a falsetto voice.

"Thank you," Brian said as he continued reading the magazine.

"Sugar?"

"Three lumps and make it a milky one."

"Got it," the man said. "I'll go make one right now."

The man left while giggling evilly. The man actually turned out to be James.

A few minutes later, James returned to Brian's dressing room with a cup of 'coffee' in hand while wearing the same uniform. "Here it is," he said happily.

"Place it on the table in front of me," Brian said.

"Here you go," James said as he placed the cup.

"Thank you," Brian mumbled.

He placed his magazine to one side and looked at the hot beverage. "Ah! Cappuccino," he said in a surprised tone. "Do you have those brown stuff you sprinkle on top?"

"I'm sure I could…" James said but made a sudden stop when he thought of something grotesque. "Oh, I just remembered, we've ran out."

"That's alright," Brian replied. "You may go."

James left the room with a sly grin on his face, which was hidden behind that cloth. Brian was about to drink his 'cappuccino' when suddenly…

"Mr. Powell!" a woman yelled. "You're on in two minutes!"

"Oh well," Brian said as he got up. "There's always water at the panel."

As he left the room he gave the beverage to the woman said that she could have it. The woman took a sip, she immediately covered her mouth with her hand when she tasted the horrible drink and quickly made her way to the bathroom. James saw that his plan foiled and hung his head low in shame. "He's gonna disqualify us for sure," he mumbled.

After the judges' ten minute break, a xylophone was placed in the middle of the stage. A girl, wearing a red sparkling dress, was introduced as May Maple as she walked out to the stage as the audience applauded.

"Hello," she said nervously as she stood in front of the instrument and the audience. "I'm going to play a tune that I've learned during a week of practice. It's called, 'Your song' sang by Elton John."

She picked up two small hammers and played a starting tune as a piano was playing in the background while Jesse was listening to it. As Jesse expected something to happen, May hit the wrong note, making Jesse flinch in frustration.

"That's wrong, you dumb twerp!" Jesse yelled angrily. "Try it again!"

May played the starting tune again but hit the same wrong note again. Jesse couldn't take it anymore.

"No! No! You stupid twerp!" Jesse yelled as she rushed onto the stage, grabbed the hammers and shoved May away from the instrument. "Like this!" she yelled again as she quickly played the starting tune in the correct way… until the xylophone exploded.

As the smoke cleared, Jesse became totally covered with burnt marks and dirt. She had lost some of her hair. She gave a shocked look on her face as some metal bars fell off the instrument.

The next grunt was Meowth as he walked out on stage wearing a tuxedo. A piano was placed in the center on the stage for him to play on. He announced that was going to play 'Hungarian Rhapsody' as he politely bowed to the audience.

As he started to play the large instrument a little yellow mouse, a Pichu, with a collar with a nametag signed 'Jerry' was running around backstage unnoticed until it spotted Meowth on stage.

It ran up to the leg of the piano to and headed towards Meowth as it wanted to watch him play and listen to the music. The cat saw 'Jerry' and saw it as a distraction. He grabbed the Pichu and tossed it away while playing the piano with the other paw.

Pichu picked himself up, starting to get angry. He ran over the piano and got inside it. A moment later, the piano started playing by itself, much to Meowth's shock until he looked inside the piano, spotted Pichu playing with the inner keys and hit it on the top of its head.

Meowth then proceeded to toss 'Jerry' out of the way again. While rubbing its head, the little Pichu looked round to see what it could find to mess around with the cat. It spotted and picked up a pair of scissors that was on the floor. He walked and climbed up the leg of the piano again; only this time it attempted to cut off the tips of Meowth's paw but kept on missing as Meowth tapping on the keys was too fast for him. Having enough, Pichu tossed the scissors away and walked over to the lid, slamming it on Meowth's paws. Meowth's face became red as he felt the agonising pain through his forelegs but kept his mouth shut from screaming. He lifted up the lid and then grabbed Pichu with one of his hurt paws and placed him inside the piano between the inner keys and started playing the piano like there was no tomorrow as 'Jerry' was getting beaten, juggled and squashed by the inner keys.

After Pichu's short knockout, it decided to get its own back as he ripped out two of the inner keys and started hitting the other keys like a Dodrio pecking at its food, much to Meowth's shock again as he now tried to keep up with the sequence. As Meowth was about to finish the song, Pichu started to stir things up again as it played the same sequence again, forcing Meowth to keep track. Meowth was about to finish his song again but Pichu made him repeat the same sequence again for the third time by hitting the inner keys. This time, Meowth became tired, as his clothes were becoming ripped and torn while he was finally finishing off the song. After he finished the song, he collapsed to the floor, unable to bow to the audience while 'Jerry' took Meowth's his place and bowed to them instead, receiving a standing ovation.

After every participant had performed their acts and minutes of waiting for the result, the judges made their decision of who would win the talent show. A show host stood in the middle of the stage holding an envelope while the contestants waited backstage. He opened up the envelope and took out the card to reveal the winner. "The winner of this talent contest, it's… 'Jerry' the Pichu!"

"What!" Everyone in the backstage yelled. "That Pichu isn't even in this competition!"

'Jerry' jumped happily to the stage and was given the award while the Team Rocket trio stormed in. "That's our award!" Jesse yelled. "We worked and deserve that award more than that pesky mouse!"

"Pichu pichu!" 'Jerry' squeaked as it struggled to hold the award upright in its small paws.

"Wot's dat," Meowth said. "Ya sayin' ya got a present for us for helpin' you out?"

"Pichu pi," 'Jerry' squeaked again as it walked off the stage and returned carrying a large wrapped present. It handed over the present to the trio.

Everyone saw how cute it was, seeing Pichu handing a present over to the villains as the trio began to shed anime-tears. "I've never been so grateful in my life," James sobbed. "Quick, let's open the present!"

When they opened the present it exploded, sending Team Rocket flying out of the town hall, covered in black dirt.

"This is great," Meowth moaned. "We don't need Pikachu to blast us off anymore!"

"This is so unfair," James sobbed. "If we see that Pichu again, it'll be too soon."

"That pesky Pichu!" Jesse yelled. "I'll make a fur coat out of it one day!"

Suddenly, a wobbuffet appeared out of nowhere and yelled out its name. "Wobbuffet!"

"We're blasting off again!" they cried as they went out of sight.

Back in the town hall, the audience laughed at what happened as 'Jerry' carried on jumping in celebration.

"Maybe we ought to use that trick on Team Rocket, eh, Pikachu?" Ash asked as he and the other participants watched backstage via TV screen. Pikachu squeaked in a positive way in reply.

END!  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Author's note:  
With over 8 pages, this is the longest one-shot I have done so far.

As you've noticed, I've used some of the names of the forum members to appear on this one shot. There are six of them in total and they're written in different forms. The first person to spot all six will get a jarful of cookies.

Plus, this one-shot is also based on two cartoons and a popular entertainment show. If you're the first person who can guess those three shows correctly, you'll get a desert of your choice. If you're living in the UK or watch UK shows, I've parodied one of the bits from a particular comedy show and placed it on this fic. See if you can guess what it is.

Last but not least, what do you guys think?


	6. Feelin' lucky, punks?

**Feelin' lucky, punks? (Another TR Comedy One-Shot)**

It was a nice sunny day in the busy streets of Lilycove City. Many people in everyday clothing were walking around looking for stores to shop in.

One of them was noticeably not wearing any average normal day clothing. Instead, he was wearing mainly black leather clothing and stood six-foot ten. The man's name was Black Jack, rumours had it that he had an unbeaten winning streak in pokemon battles and still has it but he preferred to remain anonymous.

He was carrying a bag of food and goods from a grocery store that was near a pokemon center he was staying for the day. Normally, he would spot any dangers occurring in any place he was in. All was still until…

"Thieves! Stop thieves!"

That caught his attention as he looked up from his groceries and spotted a truck being driven madly while a man in a uniform tried to chase his vehicle. "Why can't punks like those guys take a break?" Black Jack as he dug his hand into his bag, taking out a small pie.

He threw it directly at the window, making it splat on the surface. The thieves that were driving the vehicle lost control and drove sideways while the innocent barely dodged out of harm's way until the truck crashed into a lamp post, stopping immediately.

Three familiar figures came out of the truck looking very dizzy. One was a man in a uniform with light purple hair, the other was a woman who was also wearing the same uniform but had long dark purple hair and the third figure was a cat-like pokemon called a Meowth.

"Jessie," the man moaned with his hand on his head. "What happened?"

"I don't know, James," Jessie moaned back. "Why can't anyone leave us alone while we're only doing our job?"

"Never mind dat," Meowth said as he rubbed his head. "Let's just get outta here before anyone catches us."

Suddenly, a blue blob appeared out of nowhere yelling out his name, snapping the trio out of their dizziness. They realised that they were too late to escape when they became surrounded by Black Jack and six of his pokemon. The pokemon that were helping Black Jack surrounding Team Rocket was a blue dragon called Salamence, a green dinosaur called Tyranitar, a red fiery martial artist known as Blaziken, the poison pin pokemon Nidoking, a huge crocodile named Feraligatr, and an armour-like pokemon known as Metagross.

The TR trio looked down and spotted a missile launcher weapon. But Black Jack noticed and pointed his handgun at the trio, threatening to shoot them if they came any closer. "Uh-uh," he said in low, deep, scratchy voice.

"Now I know what you're thinking," he said. "'Are there any bullets in this gun?' Well, to tell you the truth, I only just picked up this gun. But being that this is a 44-Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, it would blow your heads clean off. You ought to ask yourself one question – do ya feel lucky? …Well, do ya, punks?"

The trio took their chance to be lucky as they slowly moved away from the launcher until their backs toucjed the damaged truck. Black Jack motioned his head towards his Nidoking to pick up the weapon and give to him. After that was done, Black Jack and his pokemon began to walk away.

"Wobba!" Wobbuffet yelled loudly catching Black Jack's team's attention. "Wobbuffet! Woub!"

"Translation?" James asked curiously.

"Hey! He's gots to know!" Meowth translated and then he quickly used his paws to close his mouth after realising what he just said.

"No more 'Dirty Harry' movies for you, you blue blob!" Jessie yelled angrily.

Despite Team Rocket pleas to not hurt them, Black Jack slowly walked back towards them and aimed the magnum at his victims. Team Rocket cowardly hid behind the blue blob, using him as a shield. "Quick, Wobbuffet," Jessie whispered. "Use Counter."

But Wobbuffet was too scared to even move, let alone obey Jessie's command. Cold sweat drops appeared on the faces of our favourite villains as Black Jack used his thumb to push the hammer down; he pulled the trigger and…

Pop!

A small stick with a small flag that had the word 'BANG!' painted on it stuck out of the gun. After the Team Rocket's shock, they let out a huge sigh of relieve. Black Jack let out a small chortle as he slowly walked away from them, leaving the suckers alone.

"Stupid twerp," Jessie snarled in frustration, catching Black Jack's unwanted attention.

"What did you just say?" the big man said in an offended tone, changing the villains' faces of relieve back into fear again. Without needing an answer, he and his pokemon, who were also offended by Jessie's rudeness, slowly turned round and stared maliciously at them.

The villains hugged each other in fear, knowing what was coming next. Black Jack held and aimed the missile launcher towards them while his pokemon glowed vigorously while Team Rocket had their eyes widened opened as they saw the attacks coming towards them.

From afar, a huge explosion could be seen and heard as the villainous trio and Wobbuffet flying into the sky.

"If I see that movie again, it'll be too soon!" Jessie yelled.

"At least we didn't get shocked by the twerp's Pikachu this time," James said in a happy tone.

"Not to mention that pesky Pichu," Meowth said who was also happy.

"Wobbuffet!" the blue blob yelled as he placed his paw on his head a saluting manner.

Suddenly, a missile came flying out of nowhere and hit them with an explosive impact, sending them flying into a different direction.

"Now where did that missile come from?" Jessie yelled.

"Does it matter?" James moaned. "Twice in one day. I think we've set a record."

"Wobba!" Wobbuffet yelled.

"Anyways…" Meowth said.

"WE'RE BLASTING OFF AGAIN! AND AGAIN!" the three yelled in unison until they became out of sight.

Down on the grassy grounds of a forest, a small Pichu with a nametag 'Jerry' attached to his neck collar held up a small pair of binoculars, watching Team Rocket disappearing into the air. Next to him was a huge missile launcher.

"Pichu Pichu Pichu," he squeaked in puzzlement while scratching head, which meant, "How come those three didn't know how to use it?"


	7. Don't Quit Your Day Job

**Don't Quit Your Day Job (Another Comedy/Parody One-Shot starring… yes, TR)** Rated U

Three figures were standing in their respective telephone boxes, reading through newspapers. Two were wearing agent uniforms while one was wearing… nothing. They were none other than Jessie, James and Meowth.

Ever since some twerp with a Pikachu came into their lives, they couldn't steal a single pokemon to give to their boss. Running low on money, they had to settle for a second job.

At the same time, they found a job suitable for themselves, placed a coin in their respective phones and dialled the number of their found jobs. "Hello, I would to apply for the job," they said in unison. They spoke into their respective phones, answering various questions.

"Do I have any children?" Meowth asked, repeating the question the person was asking him via phone.

"Yes, twenty three," Jesse said, answering the question to her interviewer.

"What's my favourite food?" James asked thinking of an answer.

"Oh, any type of pokemon is my favourite," Jessie answered. "What was that? What was the last movie I've been in?"

"Doughnut Schmonut… um… Doughnut World," James answered down his respective phone. "Er… Personal injuries?"

"I've been ran over by a horde of Tauros," Meowth answered down his phone. "Flattened down by a Snorlax, zapped by a bunch of Pikachu…"

"What did Brian Powell say about my performance you ask?" Jessie asked, repeating what her interviewer said.

"Nothing much," James said.

After much questioning and answering, the three agents came out of their respective phone boxes with happiness on their faces.

"I get to work at a doughnut shop!" James said gleefully.

"I get to work at the theatre!" Jessie exclaimed happily. "And I don't need to audition!"

"I get to work as an advertiser for a diet program!" Meowth said happily.

"Wobbuffet!" a blue blob yelled behind their backs, scaring the wits out of them.

"You don't have a job and you're spoiling the moment, you jobless idiot! Return!" Jessie yelled angrily as she zapped him back into his pokeball.

The next day James and Jessie were inside the doughnut shop, gazing at the luxurious doughnuts that were behind a windscreen of the counter. "Look at these delicious doughnuts," Jessie said dreamily while drooling. "Suppose if you put peanut butter in a jam doughnut, that would be something."

"Oh, come now, Jessie," James said, thinking that the idea was nonsense. "Peanut butter in a jam doughnut, it's a silly idea to me."

Before Jessie could say another word, someone else spoke as he got up from behind the counter. "Good morning, you two," he said, surprising the purple haired duo. He was a skinny man who was wearing a catering uniform and a pair of glasses. It turned out that he was the manager of the doughnut shop. "I see that one of you is working and is also up bright and early."

"Well, sir, I believe that my friend is ready for work and I'm here to help him," Jessie said. "Plus, to get some free samples."

"James has to work," the manager said. "I'm afraid you have to leave until the shop's open."

"Hang on a minute!" Jessie yelled. "I'm a friend of your employee and I demand some free samples!"

She angrily looked around to see what she could take; she spotted a plateful of doughnuts and quickly grabbed it. "Excuse me," the manager called. "Those are plastic doughnuts."

"You can't fool me!" Jessie yelled back as she stormed out of the shop carrying the doughnuts. When she got out, she took a bite and felt the hardness and tasted its horribleness. "Yuck!" she said. "He wasn't lying!"

Back inside the doughnut shop, the manager was showing James around the shop. "And right here is the start button," the manager told him, showing him the part of the machine. "We call it the start button cos when you push it, it starts."

He pushed the button and explained to James that machine was starting to cook the doughnuts, filling it with jam in the process. "Jam?" James asked. "You ought to put in some peanut butter in there. Because of that, you could have the goodness of a peanut butter and jam sandwich in a doughnut."

"A peanut butter and jam doughnut, now that's not bad," the manager said enthusiastically.

"How would you know? You haven't tried it yet."

"Of course, it's simple… this could be big… this could be VERY big."

"I think you're missing the point here, I think they should be in a regular sized…"

"James, I think you're on to something here," the manager said as he picked up the cooked doughnut. He took a bite and began to munch it. As he did, he felt something hard moving in his mouth and it was hurting the inside of it.

He stuck his tongue out, revealing a small bottle cap on it. "I'm sorry, that's mine," James said apologetically as he removed the cap from the manager's tongue. "I'm just gonna go…"

"Get to work," the manager finished for him, feeling awkward as James walked away from him to start on his new job.

Elsewhere, not far from the doughnut shop, Meowth was dressed in a training outfit with a stall set up behind him, filled with dietary products. A crowd of people and pokemon gathered around him as he called for them enthusiastically to show them the products.

"Dat's right, folks! Gather round!" he yelled enthusiastically into a microphone as he was holding up a carton of milkshake. "I have here a fat-free milkshake, suitable for all pokemon like myself. Once a pokemon drinks this, he'll be so fit that he can battle a bunch of Tauros's for a day or so without gettin' tired. Any volunteers to try dis free sample?"

"You got some," said a man in a deep, scratchy voice, catching everyone's attention.

A tall and muscular man wearing black leather clothing stepped in front of the crowd, along with a huge green dinosaur, a poison drill pokemon known as Nidoking, a huge blue crocodile, a big blue dragon, a blue steel meteorite-like pokemon and a fiery red fighter. The man was known as Black Jack, known for his past battling style.

Meowth turned towards them with an anime sweatdrop on the back of his head. "Er… hi… big guys," he said nervously as he looked at seven huge volunteers.

"The boys and I have been training a lot throughout our journey and never have we tried out your products," Black Jack said. "Now don't get me wrong, the boys and I are into fitness, we all want to be healthy, we want to be the first to try your product."

"O… kay," Meowth said nervously as he gave Black Jack the free carton. Nidoking raised his paw up, signalling that he wanted to be first to taste the milkshake. The other pokemon didn't mind so Black Jack handed the milkshake over to the drill pokemon.

Nidoking opened the carton with his claw and drank some of the milkshake, tasting it. He nodded, signalling that he liked it and then drank some more. As the carton became half empty, he stopped drinking and felt some sort of energy surging inside him. "Nid Nidoking!" Nidoking growled loudly, which meant, "I feel bigger!"

"Ya look bigger!" Meowth cried happily.

Black Jack's other pokemon wanted to have a taste but Nidoking quickly drank some more, showing that he was finishing off the drink. He stopped drinking and let out a loud roar, posing like a muscleman, impressing a lot of female pokemon.

"He said he feels stronger!" Meowth cried excitedly, translating what Nidoking said. "He looks stronger too!"

Nidoking finished off the rest of the drink, tossed the empty carton aside and slowly walked towards Meowth. "I told ya dis was good stuff! I told ya it would work!" Meowth yelled enthusiastically.

Nidoking slowly placed his paw on Meowth's shoulder. "Nid Nidoking," Nidoking growled in monstrous voice.

"You're feeling more aggressive?" Meowth translated, suddenly becoming scared and puzzled as Nidoking glared maliciously at him in the face.

BAM!

Meowth was knocked so high up into the air. "No one told me about the side effects!" he yelled as he was sent flying into the sky until he was out of sight.

Meanwhile, at a theatre, there was a long cue of hungry, yet patient customers waiting at a food stand.

A man in a catering outfit was rushing around getting what his customers wanted and noticed that another person, also in the same catering outfit, was sitting on a chair, reading a newspaper. "Hey! I thought you were going to help me out," the man complained.

The person lowered the newspaper, showing a familiar face… and a familiar long dark purple hair. That woman was none other that Jessie. Apparently, she thought that she got a job as an actress but it turned out she only got the job as a caterer. "What do you want?" she moaned.

"Your job is to sell snacks around and you haven't sold one all day," the man complained.

"Oh, alright then," Jessie moaned as she tossed the newspaper aside. She got to the counter and looked at the customer in front of her. It turned out to be a little yellow mouse with a nametag signed 'Jerry' attached to his neck collar, holding a twenty dollar bill.

"Pichu pichu," the little pichu squeaked as he pointed towards one of the hotdogs.

"Hotdog?" Jessie said, understanding what the Pichu wanted. "Hotdog coming up."

She walked over to the hotdog cooker, took the food and placed it in front of him. "Okay," she said as she pressed a number of buttons on the till. "That comes up to…"

"Pichu pichu," Pichu squeaked suddenly as he pointed towards one of the apples pies behind her. Jessie rolled her eyes with a tut as she walked over to the pie stand to get one of the pies and brought it to him.

As she began working at the till again, Pichu suddenly pointed to a small plate of nachos. Jessie began to gnarl her teeth in frustration as she walked over to the far left of the stand and grabbed the small plate of them, bringing it to Pichu.

Each time Jessie was about to use the till, Pichu would suddenly squeak and point towards a different snack. And each time he did that, Jessie's gets angrier.

It was some time until Pichu finally paid for the bunch of food he ordered. Jessie sighed with relive as she typed in various keys to open the till, but instead of placing the money inside it, she placed it inside her pocket instead, making sure that no one was looking.

As she closed the till, Pichu squeaked, catching Jessie's attention again. This time, he pointed towards a ketchup bottle, which was quite near him. Jessie's clenched fist shook as her temperament reached boiling point. "So, you want ketchup, huh?" Jessie asked in a false playful tone. Pichu nodded in response.

Jessie quickly grabbed the bottle and squirted the ketchup right in Pichu's face, much to everyone's shock. "Hey! You can't do that!" the caterer yelled while Pichu picked up a tissue to wipe his face with. "He's just a…"

"I don't care!" Jessie snarled as she got herself some cold drink. "He's been annoying me all this time!"

"What's your problem, lady?" the customer asked, not pleased with her attitude. "That was a Pichu,"

Jessie drank a mouthful of the drink and then spat it right in the customer's face. "That does it!" the customer yelled as he walked away, now soaked with the drink. "I'm going to that doughnut shop! I heard they're selling peanut butter and jam doughnuts!"

"Peanut butter and jam!" Jessie yelled in shock. "That's my doughnut!"

She quickly ran out of the stand, making her way towards her partner's workplace. As she stormed out, Pichu finished wiping off the ketchup on his face and started eating some of his snacks while having a devilish smile on his face.

Meanwhile at the doughnut shop, James was doing quite well in his job. As he finished serving another customer, he spotted five familiar figures coming into the shop, one of which was a Pikachu, and became shocked. He and his two partners in crime often referred to them as…

"The twerps!" he thought to himself. He quickly ducked down and got back up again wearing a false moustache and a pair of glasses on his face.

The four children and Pikachu, who was riding on his trainer's shoulder, walked over to him. Before they could say anything, James quickly thought up a plan.

"Congratulations!" James yelled excitedly. "You five have won some free samples of our delicious doughnuts for being our millionth customer."

"Hey," the tallest one said. "I love the sound of that."

James quickly and randomly picked up a lot of doughnuts and placed them in five separate paper bags, and then he handed them over to the 'prize winners'. After the kids received their 'prizes' and saying their thanks they began to walk out. James picked up a big red button from behind the counter and pressed it, sounding an alarm.

"Thieves! Thieves!" he yelled. In no time a bunch of police officers ran and grabbed the kids, handcuffing them and taking them away.

"Hey! We're innocent!" one of the kids yelled.

"Nobody takes anything from this shop!" James yelled as he took his moustache and glasses off.

"That's good work, James," said the manager from behind, surprising his employee. "Hiring you must be the best I have done in my whole life. And to add more to your good work and your invention on your new doughnut, here's five hundred dollars. Congratulations."

He handed him an envelope with the cash inside. "Oh… thank you," James said happily.

"And I'll give another five hundred when you come up with another new doughnut," the manager announced to him as he walked away.

James was happily counting the money until he turned round and became face to face with the angry Jessie. "James…" she snarled. "Why did you steal my idea? My doughnut?"

"I didn't mean to…" James replied in a scared tone.

"You never steal things without us and from us," Jessie continued. "You said this to me once for what I did before and now I'm saying this to you for what you did… you disgraced the disgraceful Team Rocket!"

James's lips began to wobble and cried some anime tears like baby. "I feel dirty," James sobbed as he showed Jessie the envelope. "I got paid for it. You can have it."

"What's inside?" Jessie asked curiously as he looked inside the envelope. "Five hundred dollars?" he asked, suddenly being surprised.

"Yep," James said. "My boss said that he'll give another five hundred if I think of another one."

"What?" Jessie said sounding more surprised.

"Now I'm going to tell him the truth. I'm a fraud."

"Hold it there, hasty," Jessie said, stopping him. "He said five hundred for each new doughnut, huh?"

James nodded in response. "Well, I'll be here with Meowth when the store closes," Jessie said evilly.

"Why?" James asked.

"Cos we're going to make some new doughnuts! We're going to be rich!" Jessie yelled excitedly.

It was hours since the shop closed and James, Jessie and Meowth were now covered with flour as they finished making their new made doughnuts. Despite their hard efforts each doughnut they tried, such as a salt-filled doughnut, an orange juice-filled doughnut and a mayonnaise-filled doughnut, didn't suit their liking.

As they tried some more doughnuts, a small yellow mouse that was lurking in the shadows fiddled with the controls of the machine and then pressed the start button, starting up the machine. As the machine started up, it was shaking uncontrollably as it shot out huge numbers of doughnuts, much to Team Rocket's shock.

"James! Turn it off!" Jessie yelled.

"I can't!" James whimpered loudly. "It automatically turns itself off!"

Jessie looked around for a weapon and spotted a broomstick. She walked over to it, picked it up and then smashed it over the machine, only that action caused the machine to shoot out even more doughnuts.

"We gotta clean up dis mess!" Meowth yelled alarmingly as he and his two teammates were picking up the doughnuts as fast they could.

But that didn't work as the whole room was getting filled with doughnuts, filling room up to their shoulders. "Now what?" Meowth moaned as he cried anime tears.

"We have to…" Jessie said before she was hit in face with one of the shot out doughnuts. "We have to eat our way out of this!"

"Pichu!" squeaked a voice catching the trio's attention. They looked and saw a familiar baby mouse, standing on top of the machine, holding a big pie.

"You!" Jessie yelled, recognising him immediately. "What do you want this time? A doughnut?"

Pichu responded by throwing the pie at her, making a big splat on her face. Pichu laughed at her and her two cohorts before running out of the scene by escaping into the backroom.

The manager came from another room and saw the doughnuts filling up room, much to his shock and dismay. "Hello, boss," James cried loudly. "We've made the doughnuts that could us going for… the next twenty years."

"James! You're fired!" the manager yelled angrily.

A few days later after being fired from their 2nd jobs, Team Rocket, back in their usual uniforms, were walking along a road thinking of another plan to capture Pikachu after finding out that the twerps were released from prison. Jessie and Meowth were yards away from their cohort as they stopped and wait for him to catch up.

James, pulling along a number of trolleys filled with doughnuts that shot out from the uncontrolled machine, finally caught up with them. "What's taking you so long?" Jessie asked.

"Can't you see those trolleys?" James complained breathlessly as he pointed at them. "I also got a stomach ache from eating those doughnuts!"

"Ya don't have to eat them all at once," Meowth said, which made a blue blob pokemon appear out of nowhere, yelling out his name while putting a paw on his head in a saluting manner.

"I'm not eating them all at once," James said while Jessie let out a small sigh as she zapped Wobbuffet into his pokeball. "I'm eating them one at a time. I only got four thousand seven hundred and three more to go."

"You know, boys," Jessie said smugly. "I got an idea of how we can get rid of these doughnuts AND catch Pikachu at the same time."

"Oh, not now, Jessie," James moaned.

"We need an anti-electric rope, some electric proof gloves, a shook proof cage and we need to fool the twerps to meet us at an airport," Jessie said enthusiastically. "Now, come on, Laurel and Hardy," she finished as she quickly walked away.

"Jessie!" James yelled. "I need some help pulling these trolleys!"

"We don't know where the nearest airport is!" Meowth yelled towards her.

"We don't have any money to buy those equipment!" James yelled.

They both gave yelling to her as she was too far away from and that she wouldn't listen anyway. "Oh, here we goes," they said in unison.

"Wobuffet!" yelled a voice from afar as Meowth and James began pulling the doughnut filled trolleys. Despite their efforts it was just as useless as James doing this alone.

END!


	8. Christmas Costume Calamity!

**Christmas Costume Calamity! (Comedy/Parody One-Shot Christmas Special starring TR)** Rated: U

Jessie, a long purple haired woman wearing a rugged Team Rocket uniform was walking towards a nearby park trashcan and picked up various items out of it, such as a newspaper, bagels, paper cups filled with different drinks, etc. She then walked towards two figures that were sleeping on park benches. One of them was a man with short light purple hair and was wearing his own version of the Team Rocket, the other was a cat pokemon called Meowth.

"James! Meowth!" she called loudly as she hit them both with her newspaper. "Wake up, you filthy Mankeys."

She handed them both some bagels and she went on to reading the paper while drinking some old coffee. As she read on, her face of boredom became a face of shock and excitement. "James! Meowth!" she cried out.

"What?" James said in a down tone. "Another failing plan to catch Pikachu?"

"Not that, James! This!" Jessie said, showing him and Meowth the paper.

"Let's see… Serebii Christmas Bash… everyone's invited… party starts at 4PM at the carnival…" James read out loud.

"Ooh," Meowth said in excited manner. "When we get to dat party, we can eat whatever we want!"

"Hold on," James said. "It says that everyone must wear a costume to enter."

"A costume?" Jessie asked. "That's not a problem, we have a bunch of those."

"Um…guys," Meowth said, trying to start his confession. "I don't tink we have any anymore… I sold dem to some guy for some food and money."

"What? Behind our backs?" Jessie yelled, scaring the wits out of the little cat. "You never do any bad things without us! Understand?"

She took out a mallet and was about to hit Meowth with it but James stopped her when he said in a thinking manner, "Hang on a minute, Jessie."

"What?" Jessie snarled, stopping her attack on Meowth but still feeling angry with him.

"I spotted a place where this man sells costume, maybe he can help us out."

"You better be right, James. Cos if you're not then you're in for a whacking too!"

Some time later, Team Rocket visited the costume rental shop that James told them about. There were a number of costumes hanging on the walls and at the end of the room was a counter. On the right side of the room were three changing rooms, one for each person. Upon entry, a man sprung up behind the counter surprising the trio. He had brown short hair and was wearing a white t-shirt, blue jeans and running shoes.

"Hello," he said in a welcoming tone. "Are you three here to return those costumes?"

Team Rocket gave him a strange look. "No…" James replied in an awkward tone. "These are our uniforms."

"Me? I'm just naked," Meowth replied.

"Oh… kay," the man said, finding it strange for people to be wearing clothes like those but he got back to being professional. "What can I do for you guys?"

"Well, I don't fancy anything on those walls," Jessie commented. "Do you have something at the back?"

"Sorry, you guys," the man said. "Most of our costumes are rented out for tonight's event… how about some Batman costumes?

"Hey!" Meowth said enthusiastically. "I like da sound of dat!"

The man walked to the back and brought out some fascinating looking Batman costumes. "These are brilliant," the man said enthusiastically. "They almost look identical to the costumes that came from those great Batman films."

"Wow!" James said. "How much?"

"Ten bucks each for the night," the man replied.

"Frightfully expensive!" James said in shock.

"You must be joking!" Jessie said in disbelief.

"Too much!" Meowth complained.

"Wobbuffet!" a blue blob yelled, who appeared out of nowhere. Jessie became startled and then angry as she zapped him back into his pokeball.

"I say 'ten bucks' and you complain?" the man said. "Don't tell me you don't have any money."

"Yeah, we have money," James said as he and his partners placed their hands inside their pockets. They then placed various items on the counter, which were cents, nickels and James's bottle caps. "It's just these is all that we've got."

The man looked down on the coins and counted each one. "Well… since Christmas is coming, I'll let you guys haggle but the costumes may not be to your liking," he said.

Some time later, Jessie came out of her changing room wearing a 1985's Catwoman outfit. "I like this," she said smugly as she posed in front of the man.

"Hmm, suits you," the man said while nodding, agreeing with her.

Jessie noticed that her two comrades were taking a long while to get changed. "C'mon you two!" she said loudly. "We're gonna be late!"

Meowth came out of his changing room wearing a 1985's Batman costume. "I look kinda nice, don't I?" Meowth said, also being smugly.

"Yeah, you do, don't ya?" the man commented as he turned around, trying to hide his giggling smile away from the little cat.

"James," Jessie said loudly. "Are you changed yet?"

"I'm not coming out!" James yelled. That made Jessie slightly annoyed as she walked into his dressing room and dragged him out by the ear. It turned out that James was wearing the 1985's Robin costume.

"Crummy costume, you two!" James cried in an alarmed way. "I look and feel ridiculous in this!"

The man turned around to see how James looked and fell down to the floor laughing.

"I'm not going!" James said as he crossed his arms, showing his back towards his comrades.

"What's it going to take?" Jessie snarled in frustration. "Look, the party starts in a few minutes. I'm going there right now!"

"Dah! Hey!" Meowth said. "What about us?"

"I'll hold the food on for you two," Jessie replied as she began to walk out. "Just convince him to come, okay?"

After she left, Meowth was thinking up numerous plans to get James to come. He looked outside the window; it was getting dark and foggy. He asked and begged James to come with him but he still would not budge because of his embarrassing costume.

Ding!

He finally thought up a plan. "Hey! Jimmy Boy!" he said. "I thought up a plan!"

"Whatever it is, Meowth, I'm still saying no!" James shouted.

"Actually, I thought and remembered a route," Meowth said enthusiastically. "How about we's take the dark alleys and make a run for it."

"And no one will see me?" James queried.

"Sure!"

"Sure, sure?"

"Swear it on my cat skin fur!"

Meanwhile, in one of the dark alleys, a man in a suit was walking towards a red car.

Using a car key he was about to open it. But a young girl in rugged clothing walked up to him. "Excuse me, sir," she said, catching his attention. "Have you got any spare change?"

"I may have some," the man replied as he reached down his pocket.

"Good," said a man's voice as he walked out of shadows, catching his attention, also wearing some rugged clothing. "Cos we need some."

The man in the suit looked in another direction and saw another man wearing the same type of clothing as his associates. His chances of running away from them were slim as they both grabbed hold of him.

He struggled to be free from them while he called for help but to no avail. Suddenly, they noticed a strange, mysterious mist coming towards them and stopped moving. Then, they heard some running footsteps coming close.

"What… is that?" asked one of the scared thieves.

"No clue," the man answered, also sounding scared.

_Cue dramatic (and familiar) tune_

Suddenly, two figures wearing superhero clothing came running out of the foggy mist. They were none other than James and Meowth wearing their respective costumes running through the dark alleys, looking to get to the party.

"What the…?" yelled one of the thieves. "Let's get outta here!"

The thieves dropped all of the man's belongings and ran out of the scene while he looked on with a baffled look on his face. Meowth stopped as he bent down to take a breather, he then noticed him standing at the side of his path. He walked up to him and tried to make a good impression. "Hey, buddy," he said in a happy tone. "Have you got any change?"

"Meowth!" James shouted impatiently, catching his attention. "Come on! Let's go!" he shouted again as he pounded his fist into the palm of his hand.

Meowth looked back at the man in suit, who was still baffled. "See you soon," he said as he saluted. He then rejoined with his teammate as they resumed running into the foggy streets leaving the puzzled man behind.

_End tune_

"Where did they come from?" the man asked himself.

A couple of days later, Team Rocket was back in their usual uniform, resting in a forest. While James and Meowth were munching on some bagels, Jessie was reading a gossip magazine she found in the trash.

"That pesky Pichu," she grumbled as she looked at the photos relating to the party she and her comrades visited the other night. "All those girls were all over him just because he was in that James Bond costume."

She turned to another page and what she saw infuriated her. "James! Meowth!" she yelled angrily. "Come over here!"

"What? What? What?" James and Meowth asked curiously in unison as they rushed over to her.

"Look at these pictures!" Jesse shouted as she showed them photos of themselves doing ridiculous things, such as guzzling all the food, such as doughnuts and pies, and throwing them, drinking and splashing around all the drinks and then sleeping like a bunch of drunkards on the party floor while everyone surrounded them.

"I feel… violated," James whimpered as anime tears came flowing from his eyes.

"Do yous guys know what da worst part is!" Meowth said, also annoyed. "We's got no idea who took and sold dose photos!"

What they also didn't know or even notice, was that someone was taking photos of them at that very moment. Behind one of the bushes behind the infuriated Team Rocket was a little Pichu with a tag signed 'Jerry' on his neck collar. He was holding a camera, taking photos of them. Resting next to him was a big pile of cash.

"Pihehehe. Pichu Pichu Pichu," 'Jerry' squeaked silently, which meant, "Hehehehe. I should've came as The Joker."

END!


	9. Comin' To Getcha!

**Comin' To Getcha! (TR Comedy/Parody One-Shot… with some scary moments)**

_Rated: U (Warning: Contains some scary moments if you don't like them.)_

It was a dark, dark night, just like any other night. Four twerps were sitting around a campfire in a dark forest. One of them had a brown jacket, green jeans, and blue trainers; he also had brown spiky hair and small eyes. That twerp's name was Brock.

The other twerp had a blue sleeveless jumper over his black t-shirt, blue thick trousers, black and blue trainers and a red and black hat; he had zigzag markings underneath each eye and scruffy black hair. His name was Ash, who was always accompanied by a small yellow rodent Pikachu.

The third twerp was mainly red clothing, with black tight shorts, and white skirt; she had cute blue eyes and brown hair that covered both her ears. Her name was May.

The fourth and youngest twerp was wearing a green shirt, brown shorts and a pair of glasses. His name was Max, May's little brother.

As they were ready to have dinner that night, a strange whistle was heard coming from the sky, confusing the twerps as they looked up. As the whistling became louder, three figures came into view, getting closer to hitting the ground.

As expected, they crash landed to the ground. Two of them were wearing white and black uniforms while one was wearing nothing at all since he was a pokemon himself. They were none other than Jessie, James and Meowth, agents of Team Rocket, much to the twerps' surprise.

"And I thought Pikachu was the one that makes them blast off," Ash said jokingly.

"Prepare for trouble, but not from us," Jessie said weakly.

"Make it double, can you help feed us?" James said, also feeling weak.

"To protect ourselves from hunger."

"To stuff ourselves with stuff like a burger."

"To have something to drink and eat."

"To get something to recover from our heavy beat."

"Jessie."

"James."

"Team Rocket, desperately needing snacks at the speed of light."

"Please surrender some food to us now, for my stomach is feeling rather tight."

"Meowth, that's right," Meowth muffled as his face rested on the ground.

"Wobbuffet!" a blue blob yelled, who seemingly appeared out of nowhere. Jessie picked her pokeball out and zapped him back in.

After everyone, including Team Rocket, who were also allowed to rest with them for the night, finished their dinner they sat comfortably around the campfire. "I got an idea you guys," Brock said. "How about we tell some ghost stories?"

Everyone nodded in agreement and excitement, apart from James. "Er… wait a minute," he stuttered.

"I'll go first!" May yelled, interrupting James. "There was once a creature…" she started, sounding evil. "She was cute and cuddly outside, yet cold and relentless on the inside. At night, she sings a lullaby, putting all those around her into deep sleep. Then, she takes her chance… she takes out…"

"A hook!" Max said excitedly, scaring James without knowing.

"A knife!" Ash said, scaring James even more.

"No! A marker pen," May answered evilly.

"A marker pen?" everyone said in surprise and disbelief.

"Yes, she draws a number of markings on their faces for sleeping through her lullaby. She would then skip away from the slumbering scene, waiting to sing that lullaby to another victim."

"You're talking about Jigglypuff, right?" Ash asked in realisation.

"Hey!" May yelled angrily. "I was getting to that part and you've ruined it!"

"Well, Jigglypuff can't be considered as a scary creature," Max said as he twitched his fingers like they're speech marks when he said 'scary creature'.

"She is when she's carrying that marker pen around," Ash commented. "It's a nightmare getting those markings off your face."

"Okay, my turn," Brock said.

"Oh no…" James whimpered.

"It's called… The Bloody… Cemetery…"

James let out a loud scream in fright. "I mean… oh look," he said, covering what he had just said. "The fire's going out and there isn't any firewood left," he continued as he got up, picking up a lantern. "I'm going to get some more firewood."

"Jigglypuff!" everyone yelled, taunting him.

"I'm not a Jigglypuff," James replied nervously. "I'm a vegetarian."

"Okay, Brock," Ash said as he and the others got back to listening to Brock's story. "Go on."

"It was a dark, dark night," Brock continued. "Just like tonight."

While Brock continued with his story, James was walking far away as possible, planning to return to his group and the twerps after they finish their stories. He stopped in the middle of the forest and looked around his surroundings. "This place doesn't look so bad," he said to himself nervously.

Suddenly, he heard a light snap behind him. He quickly turned around to see whom it was but no one was there. "Jessie? Meowth? Twerps? Monster? Mommy?" he said, while rapidly looking around, squeaking the last word in fear.

He then noticed the light in the lantern starting to get dimmer until it went out, much to his dismay. The moon was his only light now. He then felt a quick light tap on his shoulder, making him drop the lantern and shook about, quickly dusting his shoulder off in shock. He then came to the realisation that it was a only small twig that landed on his shoulder, which was now on the floor.

He kneeled down to one knee and picked it up, thinking that he may have overreacted over a small thing. He then noticed a shadow right in front of him. "Close your eyes…" the man's voice said evilly, followed by some evil laughter.

He looked up and saw a huge muscular green goblin with a red skinned head with black markings all over it. He held a long staff with fire at one end; he was also wearing black leather trousers and boots. James quivered with fear as he saw this horrendous and scary figure standing right in front of him. "I'm da Boogeyman!" the goblin yelled. "And I'm comin' to getcha!"

James became so shocked and scared that even though his brain told him to run like heck depended on, he wasn't able to as he shook like a leaf. The Boogeyman realised this and lowered his head towards his. "This is the part where you scream and run away," he whispered simply.

James screamed like a little girl and ran for his life, leaving the Boogeyman to snigger evilly. "The time is coming near, Team Rocket, for you to face your fear," he sneered, letting some evil snigger.

"Then, the monster jumped out of the closet," Brock said continuing his story, trying to sound scary. "And said…"

He was suddenly interrupted by James's screaming as he ran back to them. "The Boogeyman!" James yelled in fright. "There's a Boogeyman in the woods and he's coming to get me!"

"James, you can start telling your ghost stories when I finish telling mine," Brock said, slightly annoyed.

"Yeah, you can't be rude like dat, James," Meowth said. "Dat's my job."

"For once I'm telling you the truth!" James yelled. "There's a Boogeyman out there and he's coming to get me! He's got this horrendous looking body like a goblin! See the fright in my eyes? Hear the fear in my voice?"

"Are you sure it's not a reflection?" Jessie asked with a dull look on her face.

"No! He was right over there and…" James suddenly came realisation of what Jessie just said, taking it as though it was an insult. "What do you mean 'a reflection?'"

"Okay, okay," Ash said standing up. "Let's go and find this guy. Might as well get to him before he gets us."

"Hey… wait…" James stuttered, not wanting to go back into the woods but his comrades and the twerps got him to take them where he found the Boogeyman.

James took them to the exact spot where he first met the Boogeyman but he was no longer there. "Maybe he went back to sleep under a kid's bed," Ash said mockingly.

"Or to play hide and seek in a closet," Max said, also mocking James while everyone laughed.

"People! This is not a joke!" James yelled angrily.

"Wobbuffet! Wobb!" Jessie's Wobbuffet croaked loudly.

"I believe ya, Jimmy," Meowth said, translating for the blue blob. "Even if you're lying."

James looked around and saw the following people and pokemon – Meowth, Wobbuffet, the twerp with Pikachu, the four-eyed twerp, the red bandanna twerp, the spiky haired twerp… one person was missing. "Jessie?" James whimpered in fear. "Jessie!"

"I'M COMIN' TO GET YA!" a voice yelled behind James's back, scaring him out his wits. James quickly turned around to see his partner in crime, Jessie, laughing at him.

"WOBBUFFET!" Wobbuffet yelled as he leapt and crashed on top of her in reaction while James quickly ran out of the scene in fright until he bumped into a tree, knocking himself out and leaving everyone else dumbfounded.

The next morning, the twerps and the rockets were getting ready to set off on their way out of the forest after a quick breakfast after James told everyone to hurry up with theirs.

"Can we please hurry with the packing too?" James said fearfully. "I want to get away from that crazy Boogeyman as quick as I can."

"James, for the last time, there was no Boogeyman. It was just your imagination," Jessie said, getting annoyed while holding a bag of ice on her throbbing head after receiving the Body Slam attack she got from Wobbuffet. Wobbuffets doesn't usually do attacks like that but this Wobbuffet's different.

"Sorry about last night, Jessie," Ash said. "Is the headache going away?"

"Pika pika," Pikachu squeaked apologetically, riding on Ash's shoulder.

"A little, kid," Jessie said.

"Wobbuffet! Wob!" Wobbuffet croaked loudly, which Meowth translated, "Well, at least you slept well."

"Pika pika pikachu," Pikachu squeaked, which Meowth translated, "She was unconscious because you hit her with a Body Slam."

"Wobbuffet! Wob!" Wobbuffet croaked loudly, which Meowth translated, "Well, at least you slept well."

Jessie became really annoyed as she was about to beat up the stupid blob, but came to the realisation that he might use Counter unexpectedly so she zapped him back inside his pokeball instead, letting a small sigh in the process.

By nightfall that day, they were still in the forest much to everyone's dismay, especially James's. "We've been walking all day and we're still in this forest!" James complained. "I want to get away from that Boogeyman as fast as I can!"

"And my ears been hurting all day every time you talk about a guy that doesn't exist!" May complained back.

"Would a cottage be able to shut you two up?" Brock said feeling annoyed.

"Anything will do, as long as that Boogeyman doesn't get me!" James yelled.

"And as long as James stays quiet, I'll be fine too!" May yelled.

"We're in luck cos we've just found one," Brock said as he pointed at a nearby cottage. It looked quite old and dirty.

When they got near the cottage, James hesitated to get any closer. "Uh… you guys go ahead. I'll wait here," he said, still feeling scared after his incident the other night.

"Nah-uh, James!" Jessie said as he walked over to him and pushed him towards the cottage. "You're coming with us whether you like it or not!"

"Not fair!" James whimpered.

They stopped by the door and James held his fist up as though he was about to knock on the door. After holding that position for a few moments he quickly withdrew his fist and simply said, "Oh well, I guess no one's home."

Ash shoved him out of the way and went to press the doorbell. "Twerp! Wait!" James yelled, thinking that it could be a trap but he was too late as Ash pressed the doorbell, which surprisingly played a pleasant musical tune. Still there was no answer.

Pikachu leapt off Ash's shoulder and gave the door a little push, which opened, surprising everyone that the cottage might've be abandoned. Not wanting to spend another night outside in the cold, they walked inside. The first room appeared to look like a kitchen as it had various items used for cooking.

Brock checked to see if the light bulb that was on the ceiling was working. Surprisingly, it did. The cooker was working, surprising Brock even more. "Why would anyone abandon this cottage?" he asked.

Ash checked another door of the room, which appeared to be locked. "Maybe there was a break in or something," he said.

Everyone kept on guessing various reasons why the place was abandoned, much to James's despair. "Quiet! Stop guessing!" he yelled, shocking everyone. "Don't you fools get the reason why this place was really abandoned?"

He quickly grabbed a nearby blanket, wrapped himself up and sat on a wooden bench, next to a wooden dinner table. "I see dead people," he whispered in a scared manner.

Thunderbolts and lightning were seen and heard from outside while everyone had dull looks on their faces. "Don't be silly, James. You've been watching to many late night horror movies," Jessie said. "I can tell because you got that scene from some scary movie."

Before James could reply, a loud knocking was heard from the locked scaring everyone. Then some huge banging was heard from it, forcing James to place the wooden table and benches in front of it and had his back on the wooden furniture to keep someone from coming in.

"Who is it?" Max asked in a dull voice, thinking that James may be overreacting again.

"I'm da Boogeyman!" a familiar voice yelled from behind the door, surprising everyone. They realised that James was telling the truth all along. "And I'm comin' to getcha!"

"Dah! I told ya!" Meowth screamed in fright.

"No you didn't!" James yelled as Ash and the others helped James force back the furniture to keep the Boogeyman away.

"Did someone lock the other door?" Ash asked.

Everyone's eyes widened with shock when Ash asked that question… because no one did. Suddenly, the goblin barged into the other door.

"Aaahh!" James screamed. "The Boogeyman!"

"Here's Johnny!" the Boogeyman yelled psychotically and nastily while holding up the long staff. The others frightfully screamed while James instinctively picked up a frying pan and slammed it on the Boogeyman's head, knocking him out.

"Let's go! Let's go!" James yelled as everyone hurriedly rushed out of the door.

They got so scared of the Boogeyman that the twerps and Team Rockets split into two directions. Team Rocket got to a pathway, running as fast they could and as far away from the Boogeyman.

They spotted a police van and ran over to it, yelling for some attention. A police officer and a green dinosaur Tyranitar came out of the van.

"Hey! What's going on here?" the officer said.

"We saw the Boogeyman! We saw the Boogeyman!" the trio yelled frightfully and quickly.

"Alright, calm down. Get into the back of the van, and we can talk about it at the station."

The Tyranitar and the police officer led them to the back of the van and opened it, revealing a handcuffed man in a robe with a hood that shaded his head, along with a body bag, possibly carrying a lifeless body. Team Rocket became a little bit nervous when they saw him and the bag.

"Don't worry about him," the police officer said. "As long as we're here, you have nothing to fear."

"Oh… kay," the Rockets nervously as they got into the van.

Once everyone got into the van, the police officer began driving away in the van. At the back of the van, the man in the robe began chanting quietly in a foreign language, intimidating the Rockets.

"Yami yami yami yama… yami yami yami yama…"

"Don't let that chanting bother you," the officer said behind the steel wall of the van, which kept the officers and the others away from each other. They couldn't see each other either. "It's not gonna get him anywhere."

After driving a few distances, the van came to a halt. "There's a fast food restaurant over there," the officer said. "Tony and I are gonna pick up a few burgers, we'll be right back."

He and Tony the Tyranitar opened the door and then closed them, without even leaving as they had huge smiles on their faces.

After chanting a few times, the man in the robe had the strength to break his handcuffs by pulling them by his wrists, scaring the trio. He then took a small bag out of his pocket. When he opened it, he took a few dusts and sprinkled over the body bag while chanting the same words scaring the Rockets even more.

"Yami yami yami yama… yami yami yami yama…"

Jessie and James couldn't take anymore as they ran to the door and tried to break the door down, while Meowth kept on staring at the robed man in curiosity. It was no use as Jessie and James sat back down, awaiting their fate.

"Yami yami yami yama…" the man chanted as he continued to sprinkle a few more dusts on the body bag. He then let out an evil laugh as he took off his hood, revealing himself to be the Boogeyman. A raring sound was heard from inside the bag and an activated chainsaw was ripping from the inside, scaring the wits out of the Rockets.

After the ripping stopped, a medium built man holding a chainsaw sat up from the body bag letting out some maniacal roars. He was wearing a striped prisoner outfit and a hockey mask. He had black scruffy hair and wide psychotic eyes. He turned his attention towards the frightened Rockets.

"Outta ma way!" Meowth screamed as he quickly got up and barged the back door open, his two partners quickly followed.

As they ran out of sight, the man in stripes and the Boogeyman walked out of the police van… like normal people.

The man in stripes took off his mask, showing his true identity… Brian Powell. "This ought to get us some hard cash when we give this video to one of those blooper shows," he said as a murkrow came flying to him with a camera attached to his neck and safely landed on his shoulder. "Isn't that right, Jerry?"

The Boogeyman, also known as 'Jerry' let out an evil snigger in response.

"Yes, I know that you can get the guy to laugh like that, Jerry, but you can come out of that now?" Brian said as he walked over to the Boogeyman and grabbed hold of his head, attempting to take it off but to no avail. "Jerry, press the release button," he said as he continued to try to pull the head off while the 'police officer' and the Tyranitar came out of the front of the van and walked over to him.

"Pichu! Pichu!" a voice squeaked, catching their attention. As they turned to the voice's attention they saw a little Pichu with a neck collar with a tag signed' Jerry' on it running into the scene.

"What are you doing here?" Brian said, slightly annoyed. "Where's your Boogeyman robot?

"Pichu, pichu," Jerry squeaked as he did a facial impersonation of James and motioned his paws as though he was hitting something with a foreign weapon. "Pichu, pichu?" Jerry squeaked as he pointed at the mysterious man.

"Wait a minute, if you were there with that broken robot and weren't not in the van…" Brian said in slightly scared tone as he looked at the scary looking head that he was trying to pull off. "Then… who are…?"

"I'm da Boogeyman!" the REAL Boogeyman yelled. "And I'm comin' to getcha!"

"Fall out!" Brian yelled in fright as he and his partners ran into different directions, getting away from this mysterious and frightening man.

"No body knows the troubles I've seen," the Boogeyman sang to himself, letting out a small evil chuckle afterwards.

END!


	10. A Pinch of Salt and a Few Splats

**A Pinch of Salt and a Few Splats (TR Comedy One-Shot)** Rated: U

Three figures were standing inside a large kitchen. They were wearing chef uniforms and they standing in a line; normally they wear a different kind sowing that they worked for a criminal organisation, except one because he was a pokemon. They were none other than Team Rocket agents, Jessie, James, and Meowth. The fourth figure was wearing a red tux, walking around them like a general inspecting his soldiers. He was their boss, the boss of Team Rocket.

"Alright, here's," he said in a serious tone. "We are having a celebration part for my birthday and since my chef is on vacation, I hired you morons to be my cooks for the day. One good reason is that you had one small job to capture that brat's Pikachu but you couldn't do that."

His employees lowered their heads in shame as they admitted to that fact. "But if you do a good job here today, I might hire you as my new cooks," he said.

The team raised their heads in excitement. "Yes sir!" they said enthusiastically in unison. "We won't let you down!"

"Good… now get to work."

Some time after the boss left the scene, Team Rocket, along with a blue blob Wobuffet when he released himself from Jessie's pokeball, were cooking various meals, following recipes of various cooking books. Meanwhile, a little yellow mouse with red cheeks with nametag signed 'Jerry' on his neck collar was walking through a corridor, looking for something to do and possibly something to eat because he was slightly hungry. That little mouse was a Pichu.

He soon smelt something delicious coming from one of the rooms of the corridor and followed the scent. He soon walked into a kitchen and saw a delicious looking dish on a nearby table but also spotted some people in cooking uniform so he carefully walked past them and climbed up the table to reach to the food.

As he was about to touch it, it was moved away from him. The Pichu looked to see who the culprit was that took the food away from him. It turned to be Meowth who had a moody and serious look on his face. "Hey, ya little squirt!" he yelled. "Dis ain't fa you! Dis is for da boss! Get moving!"

The little Pichu looked down in sadness as he walked away. "Dat's right! And don't come back!" the cat yelled.

When Jerry left the kitchen, his face of sadness became evil looking. He had a cunning plan…

He sneaked into the kitchen again and spotted a number of cold, raw turkeys lying on separate trays ready to be roasted. He spotted James taking three of them and placed them into a roasting oven. Upon looking into another direction, he spotted a microwave oven next to them. He quickly and carefully ran to the table and climbed up its leg before reaching one of the raw turkeys. He picked up one of them and placed inside the oven and pressed various buttons that adjusted the timing before switching it on and running out of the kitchen.

Moments later, a beeping sound was heard, much to Team Rockets curiosity. "Huh, where's it coming from?" Jessie asked.

Meowth looked into the direction of the beeping noise and saw that it was coming from the microwave. "It's comin' from over dere," he said as he walked over to the table. He climbed up its leg and noticed that the turkey was stuck. "Wotsit doin' in dere?" he asked. He pushed an 'open' button and…

BOOM!

The microwave oven blasted out small bits and pieces of the turkey, sending them and Meowth flying across the room until he crashed to the floor, much to the shock of his team mates. "Ow… dat's smarts!" he muffled painfully with his face on the floor.

Some time after sorting out the mess, Team Rocket got back to cooking again. They soon noticed a very small figure in a blue delivery uniform holding a large red box over his head and a clipboard with a delivery note in hand. "Ah! The Strawberry Cake Surprise," James said gleefully. "That must be the cake that we ordered for the boss's birthday."

He took the red box off the small delivery boy's head and placed on the table. He then the signed the delivery note and sent him away. After the delivery boy went away, James licked his lips as he walked over to the box with the birthday cake in it. When he opened it…

SPLAT!

The cake sprung from the box and James a huge splat in the face, covering it with double thick cream, strawberry jam and strawberries. Jessie and Meowth looked on in horror.

"James!" Jessie yelled. "What did you do?"

"All I was did was open the box!" James yelled.

"Well, it wasn't called 'Strawberry Cake Surprise' for nuthin'," Meowth said, now with a dull look on his face.

"Wobbuffet!" the blue blob yelled as he placed his paw on his in a saluting manner.

"Did someone order a Strawberry Cake Surprise?" asked a man's voice behind them.

The trio and the Wobuffet turned to the voice's attention and saw a medium built man in a delivery boy uniform, holding a large red box with one hand, a clipboard with a delivery note in the other and a polite smile on his face.

"Oh, so you think you can this is funny, do you?" James said with his eyes narrowing.

"Er... no," the delivery man said nervously as a sweat drop came flowing down on the side of his head.

"Hold up," Meowth said, holding James back. "Were you working with that small guy?"

"What small guy?" the man asked in a confused tone.

"Oh, never mind," Jessie said, convinced that the man wasn't working with the midget as she took the cake, signing her name on the delivery note in the process. "You can go."

"Sheesh, not even a thank you," the man said as he walked out of the room. After walking a distance away, he looked at the delivery note and read that it was a joke cake. "Flippin' heck!" he said in shock.

Meanwhile, Jessie placed the box on the table. She opened it and...

SPLAT!

The cake sprung up from the opened box and made a splat right on her face, much to her team mates shock. "My beautiful... face..." she sobbed. She took out her compact mirror and saw her own reflection, beginning to get angry. She was so angry, her skin was so hot that the messed up cake began to burn.

"Don't open the box!" the delivery man yelled running back into the kitchen. He then realised that he was too late after seeing a huge splat on Jessie's face and an angry, evil look in her eyes.

"There's no refund," the man confessed nervously.

"You'll pay for this!" Jessie yelled, chasing after him while Meowth and James backed away from her in fear.

Somewhere else inside the building, the little Pichu was in a hiding place, happily munching on a real strawberry cake while Jessie and the delivery man ran past him. Next to him was a delivery boy outfit that fitted him earlier when he delivered the first cake. "Pichu Pichu Pichu," he squeaked happily while giggling, which meant, "I never knew he was into pranks too."

Some time after clearing that mess, Team Rocket got back into cooking again. While everyone was busy cooking different kinds of foods, Wobbuffet in particular was cooking some bacon with a pan on a stove.

While he carried on cooking, a familiar yellow paw swapped a bag on a table behind him with another. Some time later, Wobbuffet turned round to pick up the replaced bag and poured out the contents... a bunch of fireworks.

One of them accidentally fell on the fire that was heating the pan from underneath and that firework shot out, scaring the wits of the blue blob and he unwittingly tossed the pan into the air, spilling other fireworks all over the stove.

After other fireworks landed on the fire, they started to light up and shot out into various locations of the room, shocking and scaring the wits out of Team Rocket. While they dodged the shot out fireworks, a familiar little paw was placed on a light switch and it turned off the lights of the kitchen and pretty colours of sparkling light kept on appearing after each sound of gun shots in random places. "Pichu, Pichu," he squeaked in amazement, which meant, "Ooh, pretty."

After the display of banging and sparkling stopped James switched on the light, revealing a room full of ruined foods, dirt and burnt out fireworks, much to the team's dismay.

The little Pichu stood by door, laughing at Team Rocket's misfortune. Unlucky for him, a gloved grabbed him from behind. It turned out to be Jessie as she lifted the baby mouse up to the level of her face.

"Hello... little baby mouse," Jessie said evilly while glaring into the eyes of the petrified rodent.

Soon, the screaming, pesky Pichu was placed in a large wooden box. Team Rocket then slammed the wooden lid on the wooden box, hammered down some tacks on the lid and then wrapped chains and locks around it keep him inside. after the box was secured, Meowth wrote the following words on a piece paper saying 'To be sent to Timbuktu' and 'Handle with 'no' care', and then stuck it on the wooden box.

They booted the wooden package out of the building where a postman soon came across this object via post van when he drove past it and then drove backwards. He got out of his vehicle and looked at the note. Taking notice, he quickly placed the wooden box inside his vehicle and drove away again.

Back at the kitchen, Team Rocket looked at the total mess that that pesky Pichu had caused. "What do we do from here?" James asked worriedly with tears flowing out of his eyes. "If the boss doesn't get anything, he'll cut our pay checks!"

"Ever heard of a takeaway?" Meowth said simply as he held a phone to his ear.

A couple of hours later, a lot of people dressed in smart clothing, like tuxes, suits and dresses, were in a gorgeous looking dinner hall sitting at a long dinner table waiting for the food. Soon, Team Rocket and their pokemon, a moth pokemon called Dustox, a snake called Seviper, a cactus like creature Cacnea, and a small clown-like pokemon called Manene were now dressed in waiters' uniform as they began to serve each person their dishes, each with a silver food covering.

Soon, they placed the dish, which claimed to be the best dish considering that it was his birthday in front of their boss. Then one by one, they took the covering off each and everyone of the guests' dishes revealing the gorgeousness of each food.

When they finally came to the boss's turn, James, Jessie and Meowth gently grapsed the hand of covering together. "This is the best dish you'll ever have, sir," Jessie said enthusiastically. "One... two..."

"And voila!" they all happily said together as they took it off of the main dish… revealing a head with red and black paint all over it surrounded by worms.

"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!" the head started singing, surprising and scaring the wits out of everyone.

He munched up some of the worms that were next to him and then evilly looked at the boss. "The time is coming near, Team Rocket, for you to face your fear," he said evilly. "I'm da Boogeyman! And I'm comin' to getcha!"

Everyone ran out of the room in fright while the Boogeyman continued laughing and munching away at the worms. As the room cleared, the head suddenly changed from an evil expression to vacant looking. Then a hatch opened at the back of the Boogeyman's head and a little Pichu with a nametag signed 'Jerry' on his neck collar came out of it. It turned out that he was controlling the robotic head from the inside.

Jerry picked up a small napkin from the table and licked his lips as he looked at all the delicious foods on the table. "Pichu pichu pichu," he squeaked cutely, which meant, "All of them for me then."

END!


	11. Jerry the Feraligatr Hunter

**Jerry the Feraligatr Hunter (TR Comedy One-Shot) Rated: U  
**  
Inside a small mouse hole of a Team Rocket base, a yellow baby mouse Pichu was watching some TV showing a man in a hunting outfit capturing some blue crocodile-like pokemon. Then a commercial showed up on the screen, informing that there would be a home video competition and that the funniest one would win a lot of money.

Interested, the little Pichu peeped out of his mouse hole and spotted a security camera and a metal-ball like pokemon with a magnet stuck on its left and right, a Magnemite. He smiled an evil smile as he thought up of an idea that would involve not just the Magnemite and a camera but a couple of suckers he knew very well. He had been making their lives a misery thanks to his trickery. That little pesky Pichu's name was Jerry.

He decided to make a home movie of himself acting like the Feraligatr hunter. He stole one of the security cameras and placed it on his newfound assistant, using him as a cameraman. He hid behind one of the corners and waited until the Magnemite yelled out…

"(Action!)"

Jerry leapt out, dressed in a forest ranger outfit and a brown wig. "(Crikey!)" he squeaked excitedly, trying to sound Australian. "(Hello everyone! It's me, Jerry the Pichu, A.K.A. the Feraligatr Hunter. Now normally, I would be walking down the dangerous streams of a forest or a jungle and find wild and dangerous pokemon. But this time, I'm walking down the dangerous corridors of a criminal organisation, Team Rocket)."

He walked up to one of the random doors. It had a sign marked 'cafeteria'.

"(Not only have I challenged the likes of Snorlaxes and Totodiles)," he continued. "(I have also challenged a few of them creatures in my time. And knowing them, they often hunt in packs and they can be very scary… but let's go in anyway.)"

He entered the room. Lots of tables and chairs were laid out with trays of unfinished snacks were on top of them. One particular creature was sleeping on one of chairs.

"(By crikey! Look at this creature!)" Jerry squealed excitedly. "(A light purple haired, white uniform wearing, Weezing look-a-like monster! His looks may attract some females of his species but…)"

He took a big sniff, taking in the scent of the kitchen.

"(Aw! He smells like a lady with bad taste in perfume or a Muk who never ever had a bath. It may be the cooking of the cafeteria that made him like this but it smells so bad it could make a stomach turn…)"

Suddenly, a woman with long red hair, and a small cat Meowth, both in their cafeteria uniforms walked from behind the serving section of the cafeteria. "Hey!" the red head yelled, looking at Jerry. "What are you doing here you pesky brat?"

"(By crikey! It's a long, red headed, angry Primeape look-a-like!)" Jerry cooed excitedly while pointing at Jessie. "(She may look attractive to some of her species but be careful; they intend to lose their tempers.)"

With that said, he quickly ran out of the room with the woman puzzled and Meowth's mouth wide open with shock. "What did he say, Meowth?" the asked.

"Jessie, he just called you a long, red headed, angry-looking Primeape look-a-like," Meowth said, still in shock.

Jessie, being very sensitive of her looks, became so angry that she let out a loud scream, took out a gigantic mallet and slammed it right on top of her own partner, making him stuck inside his cafeteria hat.

"Dah!" Meowth screamed while running around. "Why d'ya hit me for!"

Without even answering, Jessie ran out of the room to find that pesky Pichu.

The light purple haired, Weezing-look-alike was still sleeping in his chair. "Cheeseburgers," he mumbled sleepily.

"James! Help Meowth!" Meowth yelled angrily while running around like a headless Torchic.

Jessie was chasing Jerry and the Magnemite down the halls until she was out of sight as they ran around one of the corners. Jerry quickly chose a door to open. He leapt grabbed hold of its handle and pulled it to open it, getting himself and the Magnemite behind the door and closing it.

Jessie saw one of the doors closing. Her eyes narrowed as she recognised that the door would lead to a closet. Thinking that the pesky would be hiding in there, she slowly walked to the door and grabbed hold of the door and opened it... and screamed with fear when she saw a huge muscular goblin with red and black markings on his head, and was wearing black leather trousers and boots. There was a bunch of cleaning equipment placed behind him as he glared at her with his evil looking eyes.

"This is the way we clean our halls, clean our halls, clean our halls," the goblin sang slowly. "This is the way we clean our halls, in the early morning." He began laughing evilly as he slowly started walking towards the frightened lady. "I'm da Boogeyman!" he yelled. "And I'm comin' to getcha!"

Jessie screamed and ran away from the scary figure while he walked back into his closet, slamming his door shut.

After hearing what had happened, Jerry and the Magnemite opened their door slightly and saw that the coast was clear. "(I don't know what happened there)," Jerry squeaked to the camera that the Magnemite was holding. "(But I think that the angry Primeape look-alike must've got scared and ran away when she saw some other hideous creature. I sense something scary but let's go check anyway)."

They approached to the door where Jessie was opening; Jerry leapt up to the door handle and opened it, revealing a bunch of cleaning equipment behind that door, much to their puzzlement.

They then heard some familiar voices and some footsteps coming towards them. "(I know the creatures are coming for me)!" Jerry squealed excitedly as he picked up a rubber glove. "(I'm going hide myself into this rubber glove and wear it like a clever disguise while I play a trick on them. If I can't get out of this mess, things can get very messy)."

He placed himself inside the rubber glove and moved around inside it like it was a live glove. The Rocket trio were coming close but the pesky Pichu ran towards them while holding up the glove from within, signalling them to stop.

The Rockets looked at the live glove with shocked looks on their faces. "Is dat a pokemon?" Meowth asked.

"I don't know," James replied.

"It's the Boogeyman!" Jessie screamed fearfully. "I'm sure of it."

The 'live' glove motioned them to look closer and then pointed to the direction behind him. The trio did as they motioned to as they looked over the rubber glove. The mischievous Pichu formed the glove into a fist and slammed right into James's chin, knocking him out and getting the attention of the 'creatures'.

The 'live' glove held up each finger, counting up to a number in notice that James was knocked out. "That stupid glove is making idiots out of us!" Jessie yelled. "Meowth, do something!"

"Don't ya worry, Jessie!" Meowth yelled in a determined way. "I've been learning karate!"

"Meowth? Karate?" Jessie said in a confused way.

"Heya!" Meowth yelled as he leapt towards the glove, doing some fighting poses and movements upon landing. He stood in one pose with his paw stretched out, waiting for the glove to attack. But to his surprise, the glove started shaking it as though it was apologising. "Aw, ain't dat cute," Meowth said cutely. Suddenly, the glove quickly lifted and slammed Meowth right on the head knocking him out.

"I must be… dreaming…" Jessie moaned as she collapsed to the floor.

After hearing the bump, Jerry took the glove off. "(Nope, you're not dreaming at all)," he squeaked cheekily while the Magnemite hovered towards him.

A few weeks later, it was the result of the competition. Jerry was sure that he would win this as he and his Magnemite friend were watching the show in his mouse hole.

"We would like to thank every one who sent in their hilarious home movie clips because if you didn't we would be off the air for and there would no more television!" the host on the telly said excitedly.

After watching a bunch of clips, the host was getting close to revealing the winner of the of home movie clips competition. "And the second prize goes to…" the host said, while Jerry and the Magnemite waited patiently.

They waited for a long minute. "(Oh, c'mon already!)" Jerry screeched impatiently.

"Okay! Okay!" the TV yelled back, startled by Jerry's yelling. "The home video to come second place is… Jerry the Feraligatr Hunter!"

"(What)?" Jerry and the Magnemite yelled together in shock as the TV a number of scenes of the clip involving Jerry and Team Rocket.

"(Who could possibly beat us in this contest)?" Pichu squeaked.

The TV then showed the winning clip. It was a clip of when Team Rocket was having trouble with the doughnut machine; it was shooting out doughnuts all over the doughnut shop, reaching up towards the shoulders of the Rocket agents.

Jerry recognised it instantly and laughed insanely at the scene. He soon calmed himself down as he waited for one particular moment. That moment was when he was in the scene holding a great big pie and threw it right in Jessie's face. "(That's the reason why)!" Pichu squealed excitedly.

Elsewhere, two men were sitting in a mansion, watching the same channel on a widescreen TV. One of them was a chubby, elderly man who was wearing a suit and a pair of glasses; he goes by the name as Bill Fireman. The other was wearing a tight t-shirt, a pair of jeans and shoes, all black. He was known as one of the most hated men in the world of talent, Brian Powell.

"I don't believe it, Brian!" Bill said angrily as he was looking at a vase. "Someone stole your idea and sent it to that stupid program."

"Er, Bill," Brian said, trying to get his attention.

"Not now, Brian!" Bill said holding his hand out, busy paying attention to the vase. "I mean, Brian, how are you going to stand up for that? Tell you what, I'll get my lawyer to sue the man who sent in that video!"

"Bill, it was me," Brian said in a dull tone. "I sent in that video."

"Ah-ha!" Bill said as he turned towards Brian. "You've made a grave mistake by…"

"Look! A reflection!" Brian said as he pointed at a large mirror stuck to the wall.

"Where?" Bill said as he turned towards the object Brian pointed at. "Ah!" he said in shock as he saw the reflection of himself. "Who are you? No! I asked you that first!"

Brian let out a small sigh of relieve, happy that he has won the prize money and was also happy for another reason. "That's one way of taking care of insanity," he said to himself as he continued to watch the clip while his older friend kept on talking to the reflective version of himself.

Meanwhile, at a hospital, four familiar figures were laying in their respective hospitable beds. They were the Rocket trio and a blue blob called Wobbuffet, apart from Jessie who was recovering from her shock, were all bandaged up after taking a beating from a 'live' glove. Wobbuffet on the other hand got beaten up by Jessie for being rather annoying during her recovery.

They were watching that same program as well and heard about winners of the contest. "You're… you're all despicable!" Jessie spluttered angrily.

"Wobbuffet!" the blue blob croaked loudly while placing a paw on his head in a saluting manner.

END! 


	12. Soccer Stupidity

**Soccer Stupidity (TR Comedy One-Shot)**

Once upon a time, there was a group of people and pokemon wearing soccer uniform. One of them was wearing a black referee uniform, a black bandanna around his forehead and a pair of sunglasses. That man's name was Black Jack, famous for being the main character of a particular fanfic. "What is Brian Powell thinking making me wear this stupid costume?" he thought to himself as he looked at the players, feeling quite embarrassed.

He then looked at his group, consisting of various types of pokemon. A green dinosaur named Tyranitar, a blue crocodile named Feraligatr, a large purple monster Nidoking, a blue meteorite-like pokemon Metagross, a red fiery fighter known as Blaziken and huge blur dragon Salamence. "3-on-3 isn't much," he thought to himself. "We're gonna need some more players."

"Help! Runaway thief!" a voice yelled. Black turned to the voice's attention and saw another group, this time consisting of Team Rocket. One was a woman with long purple hair, the other was a man with short purple hair and the third one was a cat-like pokemon. They were none other than Jessie, James and Meowth. They were chasing a little yellow mouse called a Pichu with a neck collar and a name tag signed 'Jerry' attached to it who was carrying a pile of sandwiches. "Give us back our sandwiches you pesky brat!" Meowth yelled. While running, Jerry stuck out his tongue, taunting them in response.

They all barged into Metagross and were knocked down by this immovable object. All six of Black Jack's pokemon stared down at them while Black Jack came towards them. When he reached them, he smiled an evil smile when the Rocket agents and Jerry came around.

"How would you guys like to play some soccer?" Black Jack asked.

"Uh… no thank you," James replied nervously. "We're fine."

"I don't think so…"

_Picking players_

Before Black Jack planned how the players would be picked, James whimpered that he didn't want to play football. So, Black Jack decided to let him be the referee instead. Wobbuffet also became referee after he released himself from Jessie's pokeball.

After a game of scissors, paper and brick, Black Jack and Nidoking became the captains, with Tyranitar picking first.

"(I'll pick… Metagross)!" Nidoking growled, pointing at his chosen team mate.

"Hey! I always get picked first!" Jessie complained as Metagross walked over to his captain. "Why not this time?"

"Don't worry, you'll get picked," Black Jack said. "Blaziken," he continued choosing quickly, much to Jessie's dismay.

It was then Nidoking's turn. "(Jerry)," he growled after noticing Jerry's sad, cute face. Everyone looked at Nidoking in surprise. "(What)?" he growled as though he was being judged. "(He was showing that face)!"

"Anyway, Tyranitar."

"(Salamence)."

"Feraligatr."

"(Meowth)." Meowth shrugged towards Jessie as she was feeling more left out each time the captains choose their plays apart from herself.

"Now, Jessie, I pick you," Black Jack said.

"You don't pick me," Jessie said correcting him. "You're stuck with me!"

_Warm ups_

Both teams were given a football each to train with. Black Jack's team decided to do some kick ups where each player of team will have to pass the ball to each other while it was in mid-air. Each player on that team was doing it successfully until Feraligatr inadvertently kicked it so hard that flew up high into the air until it was out of sight.

"Now that ball knows how I feel," Jessie said showing a dull look on her face while looking up. But ball fell and landed harshly right on her face; she let out a loud scream of pain while covering her face. "My makeup is ruined!" she cried.

"(Oh great)," Salamence growled. "(We're stuck with a Cinderella)."

Black Jack spotted Feraligatr running in one direction. "Hey! Where are you going?" he yelled to him.

"(Getting the ball)!" the blue crocodile roared.

"The ball's over there," Black Jack said pointing to the other direction.

Meanwhile on the white team's side, Jerry, now dressed in a white soccer player's uniform, was standing by a goal post looking at his clothes. "(The colours don't suit me)," he squeaked.

"(C'mon then, you little pipsqueak)!" Nidoking yelled towards him, also wearing a white costume. "(Throw me the ball)!"

The Pichu looked around for the ball and spotted it next to another goal post, which was smaller than him by an inch. He then walked over to it and tossed it over to his team mate.

The ball landed and rolled over to Nidoking. "(Hey there, little twerp-o! Watch out for my Wayne Rooney)!" Nidoking shouted, trying to show off as he kicked the ball trying to score but Jerry blocked it and tossed it back to him.

"(Bending it like Beckham)!" Nidoking shouted as he kicked the ball again trying to score.

This time Jerry dived to block the ball, bouncing it back to him again.

"(Michael Owen)!"

Blocked.

"(Shearer)!"

Blocked again.

"(Gascoine)!"

And again.

"(Eric Cantona)!"

And again.

"(Ian Wright)!"

And again… Jerry wasn't even paying much attention this time as he caught the ball with one paw while yawning and tossed it back.

Nidoking caught it with his paws, letting out a few breaths. "If you think you're so good, try this one for size!" he said as he ran away from the scene.

Jerry jogged from one goal post to another as he waited for what Nidoking had planned. A moment later, he saw something that he would call strange. His eyes widened with shock and then quickly duck down after seeing a ball zooming towards him. Soon, a bunch of footballs were zooming past him getting into the net of the goal.

It turned out that Nidoking had brought a machine that was shooting out a bunch of them. "It's the football shooter machine!" Nidoking shouted enthusiastically. "I bought it off from ebay! It works every time! All the goals and no fuss!"

He soon realised that the machine ran out of balls to shoot out and picked up a bucketful of balls and tipped them into the hole of the machine. "Get ready… huh?" Nidoking boasted but soon saw Metagross standing in front of the goal with Jerry standing on top of it sn_i_ggeringing.

"Hey! that's not fair!" Nidoking yelled. He then picked out a tennis racquet and ball out of his pockets. "Who's up for tennis?"

He tossed the ball up into the air and whacked it with the tennis racquet towards Metagross who used its psychic powers to deflect it sending it right into Meowth, who was playing with one of the balls the machine shot out, hitting him in the face and knocking him down. "(Fifteen-love!)" Jerry yelled triumphantly.

_Planning_

"... Feraligatr, I want you to be in goal for the team," Black Jack said and his team mates nodded to his plans. "Let's go!"

"Hey! What about me?" Jessie asked after everyone ran to their positions.

"You... you go long," Black Jack said.

"How long?"

"Just near that goal on the other side."

_First Half_

Black Jack's team started when Black Jack passed the ball to Blaziken who booted it right across the field. Meowth, having instinctive love for round objects, leapt to grab the ball but got caught and was sent flying with it until they hit Metagross in face and fell to the floor.

Metagross then used his psychic powers to move the ball, manoeuvring it away from anyone from the opposition that tried to get to the ball until it reached the goal. Angry, Black Jack's team ran over to James and Wobbuffet, who were the referees of this match.

"Hey! Ref! That's not fair!" Black Jack yelled scaring James out of his wits.

"What? It's not my fault that Metagross is a psychic!" James whimpered.

"(One-nil to Nidoking's team)!" Wobbuffet croaked loudly as he checked the soccer rule book. "(The rulebook doesn't say anything about using psychic powers)!"

"(Still, it ain't right)!" Feraligatr roared angrily.

"(Hey! Metagross scored that goal fair and square)!" Nidoking roared as he came towards the arguing group.

"(Aw. I'm stuck between a blockhead and a pin head)," Wobuffet croaked quietly to himself.

"(Hey! No one calls me a pin head)!" Nidoking roared angrily.

"(And no one calls me a blockhead)!" Feraligatr roared, also being angry as they and their friends started beating up Wobbuffet and James.

"Wah!" James whimpered as he was getting beaten up. "This is worse than those riots after those football matches. Jessie! Where are you?"

At one of the goal posts, Jessie and Jerry were eating a couple of hot dogs with bored looks on their faces. "Go long, he says," Jessie said. Soon, her eyes widened with shock as tears began to form. She then covered her mouth and ran away while Jerry let out a small sn_i_gger. He walked over to a small bush and tucked away a red bottle labelled 'Really, really hot chilli sauce' with his foot. He then walked back to his hotdogs and continued to enjoy watching the beating... for the rest of the game.

"And they say the refs never lose," he squeaked before picking up another hot dog.

END!


	13. Happy Bad Day!

**Happy Bad Day! (Comedy/Parody One-Shot)**

One day inside a mansion, two men, one was in his seventies and the other was in his twenties, a huge green dinosaur and a little, yellow baby mouse were in the kitchen having some breakfast.

The old man, whose name was Bill Fireman, according to Brian he was known for his imaginations, was wearing a pair of glasses and a black suit with blue buttoned t-shirt underneath.

The other man was wearing a tight t-shirt, a pair of trainers and a pair of jeans, all black. His name was Brian Powell, famous and hated for his talent seeking skills.

The green dinosaur was a Tyranitar named Tony, Brian Powell's assistant.

The little baby mouse, known as a Pichu, had a neck collar around his neck with a nametag signed 'Jerry', which was his name. A few months ago, he won a talent contest and a contract to perform various acts for fics and one-shots with Brian Powell as his talent agent. They had been friends for a very long time before then.

Normally, he'd be in a happy mood playing tricks on a lot of people. But this time, he wasn't a happy Pichu as he cried through breakfast, yet it didn't bother Brian, Tony or Bill since they were busy with their morning meal.

He cried while Brian was writing his fanfics, Tony was guarding the mansion and Bill was at a pet shop, arguing with a parrot. "No, Polly!" he said loudly and angrily. "You can't just want a cracker! If you want a cracker, you have to earn it!"

He cried through the lunch hour when Brian was reading fanfics, heavily criticising each one in the process with no remorse, while eating his sandwiches. Tyranitar was eating burgers in the kitchen, even though he was on a diet. Bill was also in the kitchen but he was taking a blind taste test as he blindfolded himself, tasting each type of cheese while they're on small sponges, mistaking the sponges as slices of French bread and croissants. "The bread's a bit springy," he said.

He cried during dinner and TV time, while his three associates wanted to watch their favourite shows but were distracted from Jerry's somewhat infinite sobbing.

He even cried when it was time for bed. They had a separate room each but despite that the little baby Pichu wouldn't stop crying. Having enough, Tony and Brian, now in his black pyjamas, walked from their rooms and stormed towards Jerry's with Tony breaking the door down, startling Jerry in his small bed.

"(Jerry! Shut up)!" the Tyranitar roared angrily.

"Tony… two things," Brian said in a dull tone. "One, that wasn't necessary. Two, that was my door."

"(Sorry, boss)," Tony growled, still looking angry towards Jerry. Brian looked down and saw that his assistant was wearing a pair of underpants.

"Odd," he mumbled to himself, referring to the garment.

"What's going here, then?" Bill yawned. He was wearing light blue pyjamas while holding a teddy bear.

"Bill, I thought a horde of elephants would wake you up," Brian said in slight surprise. He then turned his attention back to Jerry. "Jerry, your sobbing is so annoying that it's waking up the dead. What's wrong with you?"

"(You… you guys… forgot… my birthday)!" Jerry sobbed, much to the shock of his friends, except Bill who was puzzled.

"Birthday?" Bill asked. "Didn't we celebrate that a year ago?"

"We celebrate that each and every year," Brian said in reply. He turned his attention back to the little Pichu. "We're sorry," he said, trying to make Jerry happy. "Happy birthday, big boy."

"(It was two days ago)!" Jerry squealed angrily.

"Fine, sorry, we won't forget it again. Okay?"

"(You promised me that two years ago)!!"

"How about we have a big birthday cake to celebrate your four years?"

"(I TURNED FOUR LAST YEAR)!!" the extremely angry and heavily saddened Pichu wailed as he cried rivers out of his eyes while Brian, for once in his life, had a scared and guilty look on his face because of this. "(WAAAAH!! I HATE YOU)!!"

He picked up a pillow off his bed and threw it directly at Brian's face. "Counter attack!" Brian cried as he pulled Tony in front of him and the pillow hit him right in the face, surprisingly knocking him down. Jerry ran into corner and cried some more with his back turned towards his friends.

"Hello, Tony," Brian said looking down at him. "We have a problem."

"(No kidding)," Tyranitar muffled before taking the pillow off his face while picking himself up, momentarily dazed. "(What was in that pillow)?"

"How about we have a party tomorrow… and you two pay for everything," Brian suggested.

"(No way, Brian)," Tony growled in a moody tone. "(Not with what you're paying me… four bucks an hour)."

"Hang on a second," Bill said as he took out a notebook out of his pocket and flicked through several pages until he reached a page that read 'Never take ideas from this man'. Below the message, it had an arrow pointing to a photo of Brian. "I don't think so either…" Bill said before pulling up his sleeve, looking at his wrist and pulling it down again. "Karen!" he finished.

"It's Brian," Brian said in a dull voice while rubbing his chin. "I got an idea."

He slowly walked up to Jerry, who was still crying in the corner. "Jerry," he said. "Since we missed out on your birthday, we'll do anything you want."

"(Anything)?" Jerry sobbed.

"Anything," Brian said in an assuring tone.

"REALLY? ANYTHING?!" Jerry squealed in extreme delight while turning around with puppy like eyes, no longer in tears.

"Yes! Anything!" Brian said, putting more enthusiasm into his voice. Deep inside, he was betting that he had to do the most harrowing task he could ever imagine… playing a prank on a random big man or pokemon and get beaten up afterwards.

"I wanna go here!" the happy Pichu squealed as he pulled out a poster behind him, showing him a theme park with large writing that read out…

"Pokeland…" Brian Powell thought as he read the writing with an angst look on his face. "Oh, I hate roller coasters…" He then changed his expression back to happiness. "Okay, we'll do that tomorrow."

After some cheerful jumping and some hugging from Jerry, he immediately went back to sleep. After Brian, Bill and Tony left the room, they had a discussion of who would be looking after him, knowing how pesky he could be.

"(I hate it when he shows those puppy eyes)," Tony growled. "(And I'm not looking after him)."

"Don't be looking at me," Brian said. "I have to baby sit another kid and he's over seventy years old."

"Sorry, what?" Bill said after playing with his teddy while sucking his thumb.

"Plus, are you keeping track of his medication?" Brian asked.

"(Okay, you got me)," Tony growled, admitting defeat. "(If Bill had to look after Jerry, there would be heck to pay. But since I'm looking after Jerry, I'm going to need some help. You know what Jerry is like when one guy has to baby-sit him)."

"And you complained about being paid four bucks an hour, huh?" Brian grumbled after letting out a small sigh. He took his mobile phone out of his pocket. "Fine, I call the guys up," he continued as he dialled a number. "I bet their boss is up late as usual with all his night shifts and stuff."

The next morning, Brian, Bill, Tony, no longer in his underpants, and Jerry arrived at the Pokeland theme park. Apart from Tony and Jerry, they were wearing their usual attire. Brian checked on his watch. "Okay, where are those clowns?" Brian grumbled when suddenly, a small explosion occurred a small distance away from them, surprising them.

"Prepare for trouble, Brian Powell," said a woman's voice, catching their attention.

"Make it double, for people mistake you as Simon Cowell," a man's voice said, continuing the poem.

The surprised visitors turned around and saw a short, light purpled haired man and a long, dark purpled haired woman, both wearing a black and white uniform with a red R each on their chests, and a small cat with a coin on his forehead called a Meowth.

"To protect the world from devastation," the woman continued, striking a model like pose.

"To unite all peoples within our nation," the man said also striking a pose.

"To denounce the evils of truth and love."

"To extend out reach to the stars…"

"Oh, shut up!" Brian complained. "Your rapping is as bad as John Cena's and when I say bad, I don't mean like how other people say it, I mean it sucks."

Everyone gasped in shock because of the remark. "Well, they are bad rappers," Brian replied back, he turned his attention back at the three mysterious figures. "Who are you guys anyway?"

"Never interrupt the Team Rocket motto!" the woman snarled angrily.

"We're nearly finished anyway! Don't rush us!" James complained.

"Thank goodness for that," Brian murmured towards Tony, who nodded in agreement.

"Jessie," the woman said, continuing the motto.

"James," the man said.

"Team Rocket! Blasting off at the speed of light!"

"Surrender now or prepare to fight!"

"Meowth! Dat's right!" the Meowth cried as he leapt in front of them, standing in a pose.

"Wobbuffet!" a blue blob croaked loudly, who seemingly appeared out of nowhere in front of Meowth while placing a paw on his head in a saluting manner.

"Mime!" a small clown like pokemon cried as he did an impersonation of the blue blob.

"Ah! Jessie, James and Meowth," Brian said, smiling slightly. "Your boss must've sent you here to help baby-sit, Jerry."

"Yes… yes, he did," Jessie said in a down tone, not pleased with the current assignment of looking after a baby pokemon while everyone else of Team Rocket are doing more difficult tasks such as stealing merchandise.

"Eh? Those guys are bad!" Bill said loudly in a dopey way. "Why did Brian hire them?"

"(Well, apparently Brian and the Rocket boss are close friends)," Tony replied. "(Besides, I heard those guys can't catch a Magikarp if their lives depended on it, so they're stuck with the… not-so-easy job)," he finished, remembering that he also has to take care of the little Pichu.

"(Hey, hey)!" Jerry squeaked, catching everyone's attention. They turned around and saw a sign and read the following words, 'Only people, aged sixty five and over, thirteen and under, and pokemon can enter free'.

"That means that only Tony, Bill, Jerry, Meowth, Wobbuffet and Mime Jr. can go in free," Brian said.

"And that includes us," James said gleefully. "We have a plan that's going to help us get through!"

"We're not going to wear costumes are we?" Brian said, not liking the plan. "I'd rather pay money than pay my dignity."

"But, Brian, you have one of the most recognisable faces in the world. With all those bad and rude comments you gave out in the past, there's no telling what the people here are going to do if they see your face," Bill said.

"For once, you're acting smart," Brian said. "I suppose I could use a change of appearance… once."

"Question, is people coming after you with torches and pitchforks a bad thing or a good thing?" Bill asked.

Sometime later, everyone came to the admittance box of the park and the fat security guard looked at each person carefully and allowed Bill and the pokemon to go through for free. He looked at James carefully, who was wearing a grey wig over his purple hair, a blue suit and a pair of glasses, before letting him through, also for free. Brian was only wearing a fake moustache; he didn't mind paying for his own entrance but he didn't want to catch any unwanted attention. It was then Jessie's turn, she was wearing a schoolgirl uniform, trying to act like a teenager.

"Sorry," the security guard said after looking at her. "You're way older than thirteen. I can't let you pass."

Jessie's face showed shock with rejection after hearing the remark the guard said. "YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!!" she screamed angrily as she grabbed a metal bucket and a hammer, scaring the wits out of everyone present with the guard being the most scared. She jammed the guard's head inside the bucket before hitting the bucket repeatedly with the hammer.

"Oh, calm down, Jessie. I'll pay for your entry," Brian said as he took out his wallet. He placed his hand inside his wallet but felt nothing apart from the leather part of it. He found a small note inside and read, 'Dear Brian, I took all the money and went inside to have fun. Love, Jerry.'

"That pesky Pichu!" Brian said loudly with anger. "Come on! We've got to catch him!" he said as he grabbed Jessie by the wrist while she was still hitting the bucket, with the guard's head still inside it, with the hammer.

After their escape the guard slowly pulled his head out of the bucket, and his head became bucket-shaped. "I tawt, I tawt a putty cat," he said dizzily before falling into unconsciousness.

Everyone ran around the theme park looking for Jerry. It didn't take long to find him as they spotted him riding on a black wooden horse on a carousel. To Tony's horror, Jerry was showing those puppy-like eyes again.

"Eeeee!" James said cutely with glee, dragging Jessie along like a child. "I want to ride on that pink one with those little red heart things!"

"I wanna ride on dat green one with yellow spots!" Meowth yelled as he ran towards the ride, as did Mime jr. dragging Wobbuffet along with them.

Tony had his mouth wide open with shock and dismay. Brian smiled cheekily as he took Bill by the hand like he was a child. "They're all yours now, Tony," he said cheekily. "Have a nice day."

Tony was speechless after what just occurred, Team Rocket acting like the little Pichu as they rode on the wooden horses. Tears came streaming down his face as he growled, "(It's because I refuse to pay for that party, isn't it)?"

Sometime after playing on the carousel and other rides, Bill was told to take some medicine to reduce his insanity for a few hours, with a side effect of being dull and only able say a few words at a time, which suited Brian quite well.

After Bill took his medication, they walked around the park to look for a ride. Brian hated most rides except water rides as he found them most life threatening. "I want that one," Bill said in a monotone voice as he pointed to one.

Brian looked at direction Bill was pointing to and it turned out to be a roller coaster. It was twice the same size as his mansion and most of its rails were put in loops as the people were screaming in fear and thrill while riding the roller coaster.

He shook with fear. "But I thought you hate roller coaster rides," he said, trying to be smart. "I thought you said that riding them can be a life threatening situation and one time someone got scared to death."

"Yeah, I know," Bill said simply.

"Well, come on. Let's go look for a water ride."

"I want to go on that one!" Bill replied, he sounded a little more demanding.

Brian looked at the cue, which turned out to be a very long one filled with people and pokemon. "Do you need to go to the toilet?" he asked.

"No," Bill answered simply.

"Are you sure? Because once we start cuing there's no going back," Brian said, trying to sneak his way out.

"Yeah, I know," Bill said. "I wanna go on that one."

Brian sighed in defeat. "Very well," he said as he took Bill by the hand. "I got to talk to the doctor about your medicine."

Meanwhile, near the end of the cue of the other ride, not far from Brian's location, Tony's group were getting ready to get on the roller coaster when the last ride ended. As they stood at the bottom of the roller coaster, Tony looked down at Jerry, who was very excited about it. "(Now, Jerry, remember that we got to stay together)," Tony growled.

Jerry looked up towards his babysitter. "(Yeah, yeah. I got it)," he squeaked, not actually paying attention.

"Next please!" a staff member yelled from the end of the cue as he took down the ropes of the entrance way that were keeping the customers away. As the crowd moved forward so did Tony and the rest of the group. Soon, the staff member quickly the ropes back on as the vehicle of the roller coaster was full, much to the waiting customer's dismay.

Sensing the danger of having an impatient Pichu screaming, Tony looked down where Jerry was standing but was no longer there. He frantically looked round, even asking if Team Rocket were with him. They were standing behind him eating candy floss and other snacks. "No, ain't he wit ya?" Meowth asked while munching on a hotdog.

"(You guys are supposed to help me look after him)!" Tony roared. "(Where could he be)?" He looked up and saw Jerry already riding on the vehicle, much to his dismay. "(Jerry)!" he roared trying to catch his attention.

Jerry looked down and saw his dinosaur friend, who was about eighty feet below. He gave a quick and happy wave to him. "(When you get to the exit, stay there)," Tony roared.

The little Pichu squealed with delight as the ride became faster. Suspicious that Jerry wasn't able to hear him Tony turned towards his three assistants and gave them an evil glare. "(If something happens to Brian's client and you're still scoffing the stuff, I'll literally have you three for lunch)!" he snarled as a droplet of saliva came out of his mouth. "(I hear that sugar make you guys extra tender)."

Fear came onto the faces of Team Rocket as they quickly scoffed down the remains of their snacks.

Meanwhile, back at Brian's location, he was feeling quite nervous while Bill still had an expressionless look on his face as they sat themselves down in the vehicle, getting ready for the ride after waiting for several minutes.

The vehicle slowly started moving up the rails, taking them higher. "I need to go toilet," Bill said simply.

"Bill… at the worst possible time," Brian said as tears of stress and nervousness came streaming down his face as their ride slowly came to the highest part of the structure.

Meanwhile, back at Tony's location, Tony's group sat on their seats of the vehicle and Tony hoped that Jerry would stay at the exit. The ride became slow when it started to move upwards along the rail, it soon became very fast as the long vehicle went downhill, making the riding the customer scream with fear and excitement. But suddenly, the ride stopped when the middle part of the vehicle reached the first bottom of the rail where Tony, the over four hundred pound dinosaur, was sitting. It turned out that the ride stopped because of his heaviness, much to the dissatisfaction of the customers as they complained to no end.

"Er… Tony?" Meowth said, who was sitting behind him. Tony had no one else sitting next to him because of his large size.

"Not a word," Tony growled irritably as a vain throbbed in his forehead. He noticed that Jerry wasn't waiting for them at the exit as Jerry happily skipped towards a random place, much to his dismay.

Sometime after Brian's and Bill's ride, they visited a public lavatory. It had a number sinks and doors and behind each door was a toilet. Brian lost the contents of his breakfast and lunch in his part of lavatory after being horribly mangled by the harrowing ride he took; he took a few deep breaths while Bill did his business in his own part.

Brian heavily breathed in and out afterwards as he exited. "Jerry's made up egg sandwiches and roller coasters don't mix," he said weakly.

Bill came out of his part and looked around in puzzlement. "Where are we, Brian?" he asked. The side effect of the medicine he took wore off.

Before Brian could answer, an explosion occurred from one of the doors surprising them both. They decided to investigate the cause of the explosion. As they took a peek, they saw a tall and muscular green goblin standing next to a toilet wearing a pair of leather trousers. He had his head painted red with black markings and was holding a plastic spider with a black string attached and glass of water. He let out an evil laugh, starting to scare Bill while Brian had a bored look on his face, seeing the goblin as one of the staff members in a costume.

"The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout," the goblin sang as he swung the spider left and right. "Down came the rain to wash the spider out," he continued as he slowly poured the water onto the fake insect, dropping it into the toilet.

He then slowly walked towards the petrified Bill, laughing even more, sounding more evil than the last. "I'm the Boogeyman!" he yelled. "And I'm comin' to getcha!"

Bill became so scared that he ran out of the lavatory while Brian had a dull look on his face. "Good going. Now he's going to end up in a mad house…" he said dully. "Although I kind of like the idea," he finished, sounding as though he was interested as he placed his finger on his chin in a thinking manner.

He heard Bill's petrified screaming again. "But still…" he said to himself as he too ran out of the lavatory, leaving the Boogeyman to continue laughing in an evil way.

After Tony and Team Rocket got rescued from their broken ride, they started looking for Jerry. There was a little boy nearby wearing a blue shorts and a yellow t-shirt, he was a playing a game where he had to hit various objects that pop out of their little holes with a large mallet.

"Bah! This game is so boring!" the boy complained but then he saw Tony and Team Rocket looking around in several directions and smiled devilishly.

After Wobbuffet released himself from Jessie's pokeball, the group was about to split up to look for the pesky Pichu. Suddenly, Tony was knocked down with a mallet on the head, courtesy of the little boy, much to the surprise of Team Rocket. "Hey kid!" Jessie snarled towards the little boy. "Didn't your mother ever tell you that it's not nice to hit dumb pokemon with a huge mallet?!"

"Yeah! Did she? Did she?" Meowth snarled teaming up with his team mate.

Suddenly, a couple of small earthquakes were heard and felt behind them. Frightened, they slowly turned around and saw a fat woman wearing a flower patterned dress, she was two times bigger than Tony. "Did you two just yelled at my boy?" she snarled angrily.

"N… no," Jessie whimpered, deeply intimidated by the woman's size.

"Ma pokemon instinct is tellin' me to cry and run away," Meowth whimpered as tears of fear came streaming down his face from his eyes. "If Black Jack was here, what would he do?"

He pictured a character from a particular fanfic. He was a tall, muscular bearded man, wearing mainly black leather clothing with a black bandanna around his forehead and a pair of sunglasses. "Run, you idiot!" he roared.

Meowth quickly ran away while screaming and Jessie quickly followed. But the woman caught up with them and started pounding and stomping on them like a super heavyweight wrestler, much to James and Wobbuffet's discomfort.

The woman then turned her attention to them, making them become shock with deep worry as they knew what was coming next. "Mommy…" they whimpered in unison but Wobbuffet croaked the word in his own language as the woman's huge fist came crushing down on them with explosive results.

After the explosion, James, Wobbuffet, Jessie and Meowth were laid flat on their backs. "We're tired and we want to go to bed," they whimpered.

"I'm not done with any of you yet," the woman snarled as she continued the beating by putting them in strangling holds, hitting them with folded steel chairs on their heads, and others.

"Hey! What's going here?" Brian called loudly as he and Bill ran onto the scene.

The woman turned her attention to him. "You!" she yelled. "You must be Brian Powell! You criticised my sister's singing voice, telling her that she sounded terrible!"

"Excuse me! I'm not…" Brian said about to defend himself but he could no longer feel his fake moustache underneath his nose. "Oh no… it must've fell off while I was chasing after Bill."

"Hey!" shouted another voice, this time it belonged to a little girl as she walked onto the scene. "You said my fanfic was terrible! My friends said it was a brilliant fanfic!"

"Well, your friends must be liars, blind or dumb," Brian said, letting his instincts as an arrogant critic to do the talking.

Another person came onto the scene. This time a man dressed like a chef. "Hey! Remember me?" he said in French accent. "I used to be one of the region's top chefs but when you criticised my cheesecake as dry and gritty, my restaurant got closed down!"

"I'm not surprised. And I remember that so-called tomato soup you sent me, it tasted like rat poison."

"It WAS poison!"

"Let's get him!" Bill yelled pointing at Brian.

"Bill, what have I done to you?" Brian yelled before getting beaten up by a large number of people, including Bill, thirsting for vengeance. "Tony! Help me!" Brian yelled.

But Tony was still lying on the floor, chest first with the mallet still on his head. "(No way, Brian)," he growled quietly to himself. "(As long as I stay in this position I won't get hurt. It's either me or you)."

Then, to his surprise, he spotted Jerry at an ice cream parlour. Jerry was sitting at a table with a gigantic bowl full of ice cream; each scoop of ice cream had different flavours and colours.

Sometime after Jerry started eating his ice cream, he noticed his friends coming towards him, now badly battered and bruised after taking a huge beating from the angry crowd. They noticed the huge dessert. "Did you spend my last savings on this?" Brian asked dully.

"(Whoa! What happened to you guys? You can have some if you want)," Jerry cooed with a surprised on his face, noticing how unhappy they looked as he slowly pushed the dessert towards them.

"Jerry, it's time to go," they said in unison with narrowed eyes. The pokemon said this in their language.

"This was the best birthday ever! Can we go there next year?" Jerry squealed happily and cutely towards his friends and babysitters, who were now wrapped heavily in bandages and casts like mummies. They were in hospital, lying on their beds, apart from Bill who was now living in a mad house. Jerry was the only one who was unhurt.

"Maybe. But there's one place we can take you to," Brian muffled through his bandages as he had an evil look in his eyes, as did everyone else.

"Yeah, and you won't have to wait long. Just give us a few weeks until we get to leave the hospital," Jessie muffled while grinning devilishly behind her bandages.

END!


	14. Meowth: Love Impossible!

**Meowth: Love Impossible! (Comedy One-Shot) Rated: K+ to PG**

_A/N: A tribute to Comic Relief / Red Nose Day. Special thanks to the anime 'School Rumble' for the inspiration. _

A small cat with a coin attached to his forehead was dumping some of the garbage he and his friends made nearby after having some lunch. The cat's name was Meowth, the talking cat of Team Rocket. He was struggling to dump the big and heavy sack of garbage into the large steel garbage box, placed in an alleyway because of his small size.

"When Jessie and James said to take a short holiday, I didn't tink it would last a second," he complained.

He had used some of the trashcans placed nearby as used them as though they were stairs. He struggled to pull the bag up and keep his balance while walking on top of each can until he got to the end as the last one toppled, making the small cat lose his balance and fall into the trash box.

He dug himself out of the garbage and sighed as he hung the top half his body over the side of the box. "How stressful," he moaned. "I wonder I'll ever get anything good in any of my nine lives."

He looked over to the outside of the alleyway and saw a small pink kitten with a lead strapped on to her neck and to a lamppost. "Giggity giggity goo!" he cried delightfully in thought. He felt his heart racing with excitement and judging by the look on his face, everyone, if they were present other than him, could easily tell that he had fallen in love. But then, a somewhat realisation came into his mind while fear struck into his heart. He quickly back hid inside the dumpster.

"If dat Skitty sees me, she's gonna tink that I'm some alley cat," the worried Meowth whispered to himself. "I gotta tink of a plan to make sure dat she doesn't see me." He spotted a dirty toilet roll placed close to him. "I got an idea!" he cried. "I'll just wait for a few minnits and then she'll go away. It's a test of endurance. Haha!"

Ten minutes later, Meowth slightly rose up from his hiding place, only allowing his eyes to see if the cute little Skitty had moved. What he saw was very frustrating for him. He lowered himself down into the trash box again, crying streams from his eyes. "She's still dere," he whimpered. "She's reading a newspaper too."

He then spotted a toilet roll and received another idea. "Hey, still got paper dere," he said as he picked it up.

While he placed his plan into action, a green dinosaur, Tyranitar was walking across the street with a bag of garbage in his paw. "(Stupid Brian and his so-called 'glamour' magazines)," he grunted angrily before walking in a dark alleyway. He saw a large trash box, closed. He opened it and saw a small live figure wrapped up in toilet paper. He jumped back in shock.

"Ah-ha! Tony!" the small figure cried, standing up on the pile of garbage. "Just da guy I needed to see. Who am I?"

"(I have no time for games, Meowth)," Tony growled, tossing the bag full of rubbish at the cat, knocking him down before walking away.

Meowth quickly stood back up, surprised that Tony could see through his 'brilliant' disguise. "How did he know it was me?" he asked himself. "Wait a minute. Did he call me by my species name?"

Either way, the plan didn't work.

After ripping the paper off his body, he spotted a small metal can. "I know!" he thought to himself. "I'll throw dis can, and make it land in front of dat Skitty. While she's distracted, I'll a quick and clean getaway!"

He picked up the metal can and stood up. With great aim and throwing, he hurled at his target… and unfortunately hit a black leathered clothed, muscular man who inadvertently walked in the way, getting hit in the head by the dirty can. Shocked, with dismay, of he had just done, he quickly hid back into the trash box, shutting the lid down.

He listened to the beatings and cries going on outside. "It was you, wasn't it!" the muscular man yelled angrily. "You sure had the guts hitting a man from behind!"

"No, man! It wasn't me!" the second man yelled. "Someone help me!"

"Right now and fa once in ma life… probably best ta keep Meowth shut," Meowth said to himself nervously.

A few moments after the fighting stopped, he opened the lid and peeped out. He saw a man dressed in casual clothing crawling along a pavement, with bruises all over his body and dirt all over his clothes. "Ouchie…" Meowth said quietly.

He then let his tears run down from his eyes. "Dah… dere's nothing I can do…" he whimpered to himself upsettingly. "That Skitty is showin' no signs of moving… no! I can't tink like dat!" he said in an determined tone. "I now must do the impossible!"

Cue Mission Impossible theme

He leapt out of the trash box and ran down the alleyway, the direction opposite to where the Skitty was. "Every building has a backdoor," Meowth said himself. He found the backdoor at the back of the tall building.

"Good ting I've been learning karate," he said to himself as he held his paw up, in a form of doing an attempt of a karate chop. "Here goes nuthin'!" he yelled before leaping towards the door.

"HE-E-E-YA-A-A!"

BANG!

That attempt turned out to be a failure. He landed face first into the door and remained there with his paw still raised for a few moments before slowly sliding down until he got to the ground. "I'm gonna demand for ma money back," he muffled with his face now on the floor.

He quickly got up, now with large red mark on his face. He spotted a drain pipe attached to the wall and decided it to climb up to the roof. It was quite a struggle for him to climb because it was a tall building. Despite that, he used his somewhat great climbing ability and the will to meet the lovely Skitty without her mistaking him for an alley cat. "Yes! I'm almost dere," he said to himself.

Ding!

"Huh?" Meowth heard a small piece of metal hitting the ground below. He looked at the drain pipe he was climbing on and saw that there a screw missing. It was supposed to attach the pipe and the wall together. "Please, no…" he begged, hoping that no more screws would come loose.

Unfortunately, a number of screws were coming loose from the wall, falling to the ground below… like a chopped down tree, so did the pipe with Meowth still hanging on to it. "Great," he moaned, knowing he was in for a great big fall. "My billionth life's wasted."

BOOM!

Meowth ended up crashing onto the ground, with the pipe on top of him. Slowly, he moved the pipe off him and sat up. He saw another alleyway. "Maybe I shoulda used dat instead," he said to himself.

He slowly walked through the second alleyway, with bumps and bruises all over his body, while ignoring all the surroundings around him just to meet with the cute Skitty. Suddenly, he felt he stepped on something bumpy. He heard some nasty growling and hoped that it would be his stomach. But as he looked down, he saw a red and black dog with bones sticking out of his head and body. Meowth nervously stepped back. "Nice Houndour," he said as the angry dog stood on all fours. "Nice dumb, ugly, vicious, drooling, Houndour."

Houndour let out a loud roar, now on pursuit of Meowth who tried to make an escape attempt.

Elsewhere, while Meowth was getting a beating, a Skitty with a lead strapped to a lamppost, was listening to a calm yet cheesy tune on her mp3 player.

End theme

Sometime later, Meowth was stumbling along the floor, using the walls for support after being almost decimated by the Houndour. He took a peek around the corner and saw that Skitty's back was showing, meaning that she won't be able to see him coming out of the alley, much to his glee.

Now feeling rather joyous, despite his injuries, he happily walked out and up to the little Skitty. "Hello," he cooed, catching her attention.

She turned towards him. "Hello," the little Skitty mewed in her own language.

"The name's Meowth. What's your name?"

"Skitty… can I ask a question? Are you an alley cat?"

Meowth became rather startled by that question. "No. Why d'ya ask?" he asked sheepishly.

"Well, you kinda smell a bit… plus, I recognise that voice from you were talking in that trash box," the Skitty mewed, letting out a small chuckle.

Mentally, Meowth let out a huge scream of fright, desperation and horror. He needed to find an answer quickly. "No, that wasn't…"

"Sorry about having to make you wait Skitty," a woman's said, inadvertently interrupting Meowth while catching the little kitten's attention. She was wearing some casual clothing as she untied the lead from the lamppost. "We got to go now. You don't want to be late with your meeting with your boyfriend, Persian, don't you?"

The little Skitty let out a cute mew as she followed the woman.

That verbal statement the woman made tripled Meowth's displeasure as he stood on his spot, completely shocked with utter dismay.

That night in a nearby forest, Meowth's wailing could be from a distance. He was having his share of a biscuit with Jessie, a long haired spiteful woman, and James, a short haired whiny man. His share of the biscuit was very small compared to his two human partners. They couldn't but look at him with puzzled looks on their faces while sobbed as his mouth wobbled.

"Meowth, there's no cry over being smelly from the dumpster," James said.

"No, Meowth is just sad about the biscuit, it's the luck of the draw that I got the big piece," Jessie said.

"You're wrong! You're wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!" Meowth wailed miserably. "WA-A-A-A-AH-HA-HA!"

END!


	15. Red Temper! Red Curry! Red Nose Day!

**Red Temper! Red Curry! Red Nose Day! (Red Nose Day/Comic Relief Special)** Rated: K+

_A/N: Inspired by School Rumble_

"This is all your fault, James!"

That was Jessie yelling at her cohort. She was a long haired purple haired woman, wearing a black and white uniform with a red R on her chest.

"I'm sorry, Jessie."

That was James whimpering, nervously backing away from her. He was a short light purpled haired man wearing his variation of a black and white uniform also with a red R on his chest. "No, wait! It was Meowth's fault!"

"What'cha talkin' about, Jimmy!?"

That was Meowth, a cocky little cat with a coin on his head. "It ain't my fault dat you pushed the self-destruct button!"

It was early afternoon. They were in a middle of a forest, arguing over another of their failed attempt of capturing some twerp's Pikachu, a cute little rodent. Suddenly, they heard and felt their stomachs rumble, immediately stopping their bickering.

"Right, where's the Kitkat?" Jessie asked dully, feeling that she can't continue yelling at them without an empty stomach.

"I don't," Meowth replied simply. "What about you, James?"

"No," James said. "Jessie?"

"Don't look at me. I already asked that question!"

It took them a few seconds to realise what this meant.

"Does this mean that there's no food whatsoever!?" James cried with unpleasant shock.

"We're going to starve forever!?" Jessie cried with utter dismay.

"We're not gonna do our routine of fighting over the last or biggest of snack!?" Meowth cried in absolute horror.

"Wobbuffet!?" a blue blob croaked loudly, who to have appeared out of nowhere holding a chocolate bar.

"I can't believe that we have no food," Jessie complained to James and meowth, not paying attention to the blue blob Wobbuffet eating the chocolate.

"Munch munch."

"Wah… I can hear someone munchin' on some chocolate bar," Meowth said.

"Munch munch."

"It's a shame when you think about the things you might hear," James said with a done tone. "It makes you even hungrier."

"Wobbuffet!" Wobbuffet croaked loudly pointing to a direction, catching their attention.

"We don't want to see your dance routine to some YMCA song, you stupid blob," Jessie complained taking her pokeball out. "Back inside!" she demanded before zapping him back in.

"Hey look!" Meowth cried pointing to a city he spotted, not realising that Wobbuffet pointing at it earlier.

"So if there's a city…" Jessie said, thinking things up mathematically.

"Then that means…" James continued, excitement building up inside him.

"FOOD! YAHOO!" all three of them cried, jumping into the air with unbelievable joy.

Despite getting into the city, a city that had thousands of stores that contained food, they weren't able to get any because they had no money, not even a cent to buy a one cent candy. After an hour, they were still hungry and had given up. They leaned against of the walls of a building, slowly sliding down until their behinds hit the floor. "Is dis de end of Team Rocket?" Meowth moaned weakly. "Is dis the end of the anime series, which we worked over ten years on? Is dis de be chapter where Brian Powell will announce his re…"

"Come one! Come all!" yelled a man's voice enthusiastically, catching their attention.

Their turned their heads towards him. He was wearing a waiter's uniform, standing in front of a restaurant. "Today for one day only, we have a curry eating contest!" He cried enthusiastically. "The contestant who manages to finish the restaurant's hottest and spiciest curry first will win five thousand dollars! Everyone is welcome to take the challenge, including pokemon."

The trio's eyes widened with excitement. "You know what that means don't you?" James said excitedly.

"Yay! Free food!" Meowth cried.

"Hold on! Since when have you two have started eating spicy food?" Jessie asked, slightly hesitant.

"Ever since we got hungry," James replied gleefully.

"Tink about it, Jessie," Meowth said. "If we can get all our guys together, we'll sure to win dat five thousand dollar prize!"

"I guess," Jessie said thinking deeply. "How spicy can those curries be anyway?"

After entering the restaurant and putting their names down on the contestants list, they found themselves in a large room where rectangular tables and chairs were lined up in rows, with a number of plates on each table. Each plate had a portion of rice accompanied by some curry red sauce with various veggies and meat. The sauce was bubbling like it was lava from a volcano.

A lot of the contestants began feeling nervous and had second thoughts of participating in the contest, based on the curry on their plates. Even though the dishes looked delicious, it also looked dangerously spicy. A little pink clown-like pokemon Mime Jr., who belonged to James, was withdrawn from the contest immediately after James nervously saw how dangerous the dish was and he didn't him to suffer for them. "And I thought Meowth was a fraidy cat," Jessie said.

"Bad joke, number 103," Meowth commented, sounded unimpressed.

Accompanying with the three Rocket agents were their pokemon, with the exception of Mime Jr. Belonging to Jessie were a purple moth with green patterned wings called a Dustox, a black snake with a spiky tail and strange yellow and purple marks all over his body, and Wobbuffet. A small spiky cactus creature called Cacnea belonged to James. They all sat in a row on their chairs, nervously glaring down on their respective obstacles that stood in the way of victory, glory and a bunch of cash.

After a few seconds, James and Meowth looked at each other with determined eyes. They both thought in unison that there was no way they were going to give in to some red splat.

"Ready!?" the announcer cried into the microphone as everyone, people and pokemon, picked up their spoons, ready to dunk into their food. "Go!"

Everyone began guzzling into their food. After one or a few spoonfuls, most of them felt the severe hotness and extreme spiciness of their food.

"Too spicy!"

"Water!"

"My mouth! It burns!"

"Wa-a-ah!"

Not even the pokemon of any type, not even fire, water, or psychic, could withstand them. Not even a Snorlax, a big fat cat-like behemoth, known to eat any food of any kind, could withstand one small spoon.

"Oh my goodness! So many have given up already!" the announcer yelled. But there was hope. He spotted James and Meowth guzzling through it, much to everyone's surprise.

Jessie and the pokemon were still staring at the curries. "How about we try taking a small lick of it?" she asked. The pokemon reluctantly agreed to that suggestion.

But one small lick later and their skins became red with the heat. "Thanks for the food," Jessie said casually before heading straight towards the washroom. The pokemon said the same words but in their own language before they followed her.

Meowth and James were still guzzling through them, much to the stunned surprise of the audience as they continued watching in awe.

"How do they do it?"

"Are they really hungry?"

"Are they spice proof?"

"These are the bravest guys I have ever known."

"Hey, wait a minute…"

One of the members of the audience spotted Meowth eating nothing but air. His dish was almost half eaten but now he was scooping empty spoonfuls. "What's wrong with him?" one of the spectators asked.

"He may have guts, but having eaten all that curry, taking in all the spiciness and pain given to him, he must've lost consciousness," answered another worriedly.

"I gotta… keep… going…" Meowth said weakly, sweating beads from all over his body thanks to the heat of the curry. His vision became blurry as he blinked numerous and his mind was spinning around like he received a random punch attack from a Hitmonchan, a boxing pokemon. And then, he fainted, collapsing face first into his curry.

"Meowth is disqualified!!" the announcer cried into his microphone while tears of sadness and joy ran down from his eyes.

James kept on going, eating his curry. He was determined to win this contest, no matter what. Now, upon the crowd was Jessie after recuperating from the curry she tasted. She was amazed by James's guts and heart being put into this contest. For as long as she could remember, he was a nervous and scared man who at times whines when given a job to do and screws up every time when trying to capture some twerp's pikachu.

She ran towards him. She shoved the unconscious Meowth from the chair, down to the floor before sitting next to him. "C'mon! You can do it, James!" she said encouragingly.

James didn't hear her, as he was so focused on finishing off his curry. But soon, he had no rice left, which were used to lower the spiciness of the curry but only at the slightest. What was left was the pile of curry left, much to his dismay and her concern.

He looked down on the curry, still with a determined look on his face. His hands were shaking while he held the spoon in one of them. He tossed the spoon down before grabbing the plate with his hands and opened his mouth wide enough to pour the curry in. The crowd was gasped with awe, apart from Meowth was still unconscious.

"What is he doing?"

"His heart is gonna burst!"

"He will never be the same!"

"His stomach will be burning for the rest of his life!"

"He don't care! I'm telling ya!"

"James! Don't do it!" Jessie yelled fearfully.

Her partner stopped but he still held the plate of curry in his hands. "Jessie," he started solemnly. "Everything I did, I messed them up. I want to make up for every mistake I did by finishing off this curry and win that prize money… if I don't make it, Jessie, I want you to remember me of how a big idiot I was."

Tears streamed down the eyes of every man, woman, male pokemon and female pokemon in the audience, showing their appreciation and sympathy towards James, apart from Meowth who still unconscious.

"Brave man… brave man."

"I will always remember this."

"He is the bravest man I have ever known."

"His name will live on forever."

"Okay," Jessie replied a bit dully.

James lifted up his plate and opened his mouth, pouring every single drop of curry into it. He shook, withstanding the fiery heat the curry is giving him. "Yes," James thought to himself. "All I need to do is swallow it…"

"Oh! We have a winner!" the announcer yelled excitingly.

James spat out all the curry out of his back onto his plate before his mouth, yelping out in pain while tears came flowing out of his eyes.

It turned out that the winner was a man wearing a leather jacket, jeans, pair of sunglasses and bandanna around his head, all black. He was removing some of food stuck in his teeth with a toothpick. Accompanying him was a little yellow baby mouse with a nametag signed 'Jerry' on his collar, who was eating a small slice of cake called Strawberry Surprise.

"That was some good curry that, Jerry," the man said coolly after letting out a relaxed sigh. "You should try it sometime."

"(Meh. I hate the stuff, Black Jack)," Jerry squeaked casually.

"Congratulations, Black Jack! You've won the contest!" the announcer yelled happily.

"Contest?" Black Jack asked, looking at the announcer in a puzzled way.

A few minutes later, Black Jack was given the cheque of five thousand dollars. Everyone applauded while Team Rocket sulked in the corner of room. "So tell us," the announcer said into the microphone. "What you going to spend it on?"

With a vacant expression, Black Jack looked the cheque he was given as the top prize of the contest. A few seconds later, he smiled a small smile. "I'm going to give this to a charity called Comic Relief," he said. "Normally, I spend on money on beer, snacks… and my family."

He let out a small sigh before continuing. "A lot of guys like me live with their families, related or not related. But then again, there are guys out there, like those in Africa, who don't because of situations they couldn't get out of. Some guys lost theirs because of hunger, of dirt and all that kind of stuff."

The crowd listened closely as he continued. "A lot of us have more benefits, more advantages than others because we got better education, we don't suffer from anything unless it's some cold or hay fever, we got better food and drink, and all that kind of stuff. Usually, I'm not the kind of person who helps people out… but I'm gonna give it. And I think you guys should give some of yours too."

The crowd applauded Black Jack for his generosity while he stood up from his seat. "We also have the second prize of one thousand dollars," the announcer said. "Where's James?"

"Here I am!" James cried gleefully as he and his friends dashed over to him, grabbing the cheque from his hand.

"So, what are you gonna spend it on?" the announcer asked.

James became startled by the question. He remembered everything Black Jack said in his speech about the charity event. He slowly turned around, now looking at the faces of every person and pokemon in the room, who looking back at him with happy faces. Jessie and Meowth had their fingers crossed behind their backs, hoping that James would say the right thing. "I'll donate it to Comic Relief too!" he cried.

"Great!" the announcer said. "I'll take the cheques and take them to the bank."

"You better," Black Jack said as he handed over the cheque. "Or else I'll have you eating a specialty of mine… a knuckle sandwich."

"Bad joke number 104," Meowth mumbled nervously.

"Yes sir," the announcer said cheerfully before turning towards Team Rocket. "May I take your cheque?"

"Oh… er… we thought that we take it to the charity ourselves," James said before catching a cold and deadly glance from Black Jack. "I mean… sure," he said, changing his reply as he gave the cheque away, much to his team mates dismay.

"NO-O-O-O!!" they yelled in horror. They yelled so loud that almost the entire world heard it.

In the end, they end up with nothing as they sadly walked down a lonely road in a nearby forest while the sun set in the sky. They shouldn't worry; every person in need of help will get some. Maybe they will too… maybe.

END!


	16. The Janitor

**The Janitor (Comedy/Parody One-Shot)** Cert: PG

Three applicants were sitting calmly at a table in a boardroom. Two of them were wearing their black and white uniforms with 'R's on their chests while one of them was wearing… nothing. They were Jessie, a long haired woman who claimed that she had style, James, a short haired man who claimed that he was always the man despite crying like a baby most of the time, and Meowth, a cocky little cat. They gave up their jobs as Team Rocket agents in an attempt to work for a job with a two-figure weekly salary. They were looking to work for Brian Powell, one of the most hated men in the fanfic industry as he entered the room wearing a tight t-shirt, a pair of jeans and shoes, all black.

A few years ago, Brian left his parents' house to live alone in his big mansion. Since then, despite that the mansion is always clean, he had been too lazy to do his own housework. He's now looking for a janitor.

He sat at the opposite side of the table, making himself comfortable. "Now…" he started. "I've been told that I've got three guys who are at least interested in taking this job. But let me give you a little warning… I don't like bad grammar, I don't like horrible plots and I definitely don't like people who can't spell to save their own lives but think they can write a story… but that's another story.

"I don't like dirt, I don't like people, I don't like dirty people, I don't like people who has dirt on them, I don't like people who does dirty things, I particularly don't like Eminem.

"I'm looking for people that can do a great job in cleaning a bunch of places that even my mother, who I don't get along with anyway, would be proud of."

He ducked down underneath the table and picked up three envelopes. "I'm setting you three a cleaning task each," he continued, passing them on to the three applicants. "I expect the furniture so clean I can eat my dinner of them."

With curiosity in their minds, they opened their respective envelopes to find out their jobs.

For Jessie, she had to clean an SUV, which was quite a large vehicle. She was now wearing a cleaning outfit, much to her disgust. She was taken outside Brian's mansion where the vehicle was placed. Tony, a huge green dinosaur Tyranitar, was keeping an eye on her. He was Brian's assistant. He held up a sign that read, 'Clean up this car.' He then turned the sign around showing the words, 'I'm off to get more signs and a new marker pen.'

With that he walked away, leaving Jessie to do her job. With a small moan, she began washing the outside of the car. After that was done, she decided to do the inside. She opened one of the front doors, leading to the driver's seat and yelped when she saw a frightening figure inside the car.

The figure appeared to be a tall muscular goblin with his head painted red and black as he sat in the driver's seat glaring nastily at her while drooling out of his mouth. "The wheels of the van go round and round, round and round, round and round," he sang monstrously slow. "The wheels of the van go round and round, all day long."

He then let out some evil laughter. "I'm da Boogeyman! And I'm comin' to getcha!" he yelled before starting to laugh again. He quickly picked up a large bell and slammed it on his head, making some clanging noise.

While he continued laughing, the now scared Jessie slowly closed the door. She slowly turned around with a frightened look on her face and stood in one spot for a few moments... until she let out a loud scream and ran away, leaving a cloud dust behind.

Elsewhere, inside the mansion, James was now carrying a vacuum cleaner and other cleaning equipment in his arms. His job was to clean one of the rooms. The tricky part for him was that the lights in that room wasn't working and couldn't be switched. "Ah, Bill's room," he said to himself after walking up several steps of the stairs, reaching up to the room.

He placed the equipment down before opening the door, entering the room. Despite that the lights weren't switched on and the curtains were closed, he was able to see almost quite easily thanks to daylight shining from the outside. He could see a bed, a desk, teddy bears and cuddly toys and other types of furniture in the room. Lastly, he spotted a small sheet of paper with some words scribbled on it.

The room was quite dark and he wasn't able to read the words. "Somebody couldn't do his handwriting right," he said to himself as he picked up the paper off the desk and a lighter out of his pocket. He switched his lighter on, making a small fire come out of it, and held it close to the paper, giving himself some light as he read the words carefully.

"Don't use the lighter?" he read the words out loud before lowering the objects down. "What does that mean? Why?" he asked himself in deep thought. He took a small sniff and smelt something smoky. He lifted the paper and discovered that it was now on fire thanks to the lighter he was holding, much to his shock.

He quickly looked around, finding a place to dump the burning object. Without even thinking, he dumped the paper into a steel made, basket-like bin… which contained a lot more paper. They were all set alight, much to James's dismay. He looked around frantically.

"Ah-ha! The window!" he cried as he spotted it. "For those who got criticised on telly, for those who may never fall in love, for those who get hated as newbies… I shall send this trash can to the ends of the Earth!" he yelled with triumph in his voice as he kicked the bin away… only to have it hit the closed window, now setting the covering curtains on fire.

He now stood in the kicking position when he kicked bin, now with an unpleasant surprise on his face. "Oh… shoot," he whimpered to himself.

At Meowth's location, he had his own cleaning equipment. His task was clean the large set stairs and its supporters in the hallway. But he wasn't alone; he had his friend Wobbuffet, who escaped unnoticeably from Jessie. "Let's get started, me old chum," Meowth said.

"Wobbuffet!" the blue blob croaked enthusiastically.

Unbeknownst to them, a couple of cheeky rodents were running around the scene. One was a little yellow baby mouse Pichu with a neck collar signed 'Jerry' and the other was a blue and white squirrel Pachirisu called Patchy. They stopped as they spotted the two pokemon downstairs and Jerry whispered something in Patchy's ear. They both smiled deviously, so devious that many would picture them having horns on their heads.

Meowth and Wobbuffet were busy cleaning the stairs, with Meowth wiping the banisters and Wobbuffet vacuuming the carpeted stairs. Wobbuffet heard a small whooshing sound coming his way and diverted his attention towards it… only to see a big sack slamming into his face, knocking him down and making him roll down the stairs. Meowth turned around in shock, wondering what was going on. To his dismay, he saw some big white markings on the carpet and some on his friend's face. "Wobbuffet! What do you tink, you're doin'?" he yelled angrily as he ran into the center of the stairs.

"Wobbuffet!" Wobbuffet croaked alarmingly as he pointed behind Meowth.

Confused, he turned around and got hit by the same sack. He too got knocked down, and also fell down the stairs. After his crash landing, Meowth sat up shaking his head. "Dat smarts," he moaned before he and his blobby friend looked up and saw Jerry and Patchy sticking their tongues at them while pulling their lower eyelids. The cat realised that they were the ones who swung the big sack like a pendulum. "Let's get 'em!" he yelled angrily as he gave chase, with Wobbuffet following him.

But Meowth quickly stopped while the cheeky pokemon ran away. "Wait a minute," he said. "If we rush like dis and keep our eyes open, dere's a good chance dat we won't fall fa da same trick twice."

"Wobba wobb," Wobbuffet croaked. They both slowly walked up the stairs, keeping an eye out for the big sack that might crash onto them. What they didn't noticed, that a very thin wire would be in their way, from one supporter to the other, but it wasn't to trip them. Meowth was the first to find out when his foot touched the string, getting himself electrocuted, shaking energetically while sparks flowed around his opponent as he stuttered.

That caught his blue blobby friend. "Wobba wobb?" he croaked quizzically as he touched Meowth by the shoulder. Now he felt the same 'electrifying' feeling Meowth was suffering.

Jerry and Patchy were looking around the corner of the corridor, seeing what their victims were up to. They both giggled at the aftermath of their trick as Patchy reached for an electrical adaptor plugged into the wall and pulled it out. That stopped their 'electric attack' but it made Meowth and Wobbuffet fall down the stairs again, yelling out their painful cries as they hit each step of the stairs until they hit the floor, now with burnt marks on parts of their bodies.

They both slowly sat up. "Do ya know where ma unmarked signs are?" Meowth asked weakly.

They both looked and spotted the pesky Pichu and the cheeky Pachirisu dancing around in circles on top of the stairs, like they were playing ring-a-roses. With angry looks on their faces, Wobbuffet and Meowth stormed up the stairs attempting to catch the little pests.

Jerry and Patchy suddenly stopped in the middle of the hallway, a small distance away from the stairs while Meowth and Wobbuffet abruptly stopped when they spotted the wire in front of them. They chortled cheekily, knowing that they won't fall for the same trick again, and jumped a small jump over the wire.

At the same time, Jerry jumped up and pulled a rope hanging from the ceiling.

A hatch opened and poured a multi-coloured grunge down right on top of Meowth and Wobbuffet, making a huge splat on them and the floor, as they reached to the top of the stairs. They were totally smothered by the messy grunge as they tried to keep their balance but they keep on slipping, falling to the floor. Soon, Meowth slipped again and fell down the stairs, hitting each step of the stairs, until he hit the lower floor face-first.

Wobbuffet couldn't keep his balance each as he fell down the stairs as well, only to fall on top of his chum. "Get… off me!" Meowth muffled with Wobbuffet being on top of him.

Wobbuffet rolled off Meowth's flattened body. They slowly sat up, now looking at the pesky pair as they were standing on the higher floor, pulling their faces. Tears began to form in Meowth's eyes. He slammed his head on the floor and began hitting his paw on the floor. "I can't take it anymore!" he cried, bawling like a baby.

"Wobbufe-e-e-e-t!" Wobbuffet wailed as he did the same.

Meanwhile, Jessie was dragging Tony along to show what she saw in the car she was cleaning. "I'm telling you, Tony!" she cried. "There's a Boogeyman in that car!"

In response, the uninterested Tony was raising a sign marked, 'Boogeymen hang around in closets'. He then turned the sign marked, 'Just get on with your work, Jessie.'

"I'm telling you, Tony, he's in this car!" she cried when she reached up to the car's door. She opened the door and to her surprise... the Boogeyman was no longer there. "But... he was there," she said in shock. "I saw him myself."

Tony was still not interested in it as he held up another sign, 'Perhaps he went off to play hide and seek in a fish bowl. Now get on with your work'. He then slammed the door shut, tossed the sign aside and walked off leaving Jessie confused.

Seeing that there was no more reason to be scared, she shrugged it off and decided to go on cleaning. She opened the same driver's door... only to find a bunch of worms falling on top of her from the inside of the car. She shivered awkwardly, feeling the slimy worms slithering around her body. A couple of seconds later, she yelled out a loud terrified scream. While she ran away, a dark figure, the Boogeyman was hanging onto a tree branch using his legs, letting out a small evil sneer while he had worms hanging from the inside of his mouth.

Back at James's location, he was shocked and dumbfounded of what he had just done. He let out small sigh of stress as he lowered his head in shame, spotting a phone placed on Bill's table. He picked up the phone, pressed a few buttons and pressed it next to his ears waiting for an answer. "Emergency line," a woman's voice said from the other line. "How can we help?"

"Fire brigade please," James said calmly.

Suddenly, some anti-fire sprinklers attached on the ceilings sprayed a rain of water all over the room, putting out the fire but soaking up all the furniture, adding more to James's dismay. "Fire Brigade department, what's the situation?" a man's voice asked from the other line.

After James's experience of this whole dreadful scene he asked, "Do you do raincoats?"

A few hours later, they returned back to the boardroom in shame, apart from Jessie. She was still shaking like a leaf after getting frightened by a scary goblin and a bunch of worms, James was soaking wet and Meowth had bruises and messy marks all over his body. Brian, with Tony standing behind him, was not pleased with their 'antics'.

"Now, a few hours ago, I set you guys a task each to do the cleaning and you flunked it," he said annoyingly. "Jessie, defend yourself."

"B… b… b…" she stuttered in a frightened way.

"B… what?" Brian said impatiently.

"B… Boogeyman… sc… scared… me…" Jessie replied fearfully.

"Ridiculous!" Brian complained. "Boogeymen are fairy tale things that hang around in closets and under people's beds. Do you know what I mean by fairy tales? I mean that Boogeymen are guys that only exist in fictions, meaning that they don't actually exist! There's no point in lying! Lying is a dirty thing to do! I made that I don't like dirty things as a public record! At the end of the day, I found my SUV flooded with worms!"

Brian then turned to Meowth. "Meowth…" he muttered. "What did I tell you about having dirt on you?"

"It's not ma fault, boss!" Meowth complained, trying to defend himself. "I would've gotten the job done if it weren't for dose meddlin' pests! It was all dere fault!"

"Okay, first of all… lose the accent," Brian complained back. "Plus, I'm not having people around here putting the blame on someone else! I don't like that! I don't like that at all!"

Brian then turned to James. "You… what happened?" he asked bitterly. "A few hours ago, I gave you a task of cleaning Bill's room but instead the room became flooded."

"Well, I did make a couple of mistakes," James replied pleadingly. "But they taught me some valuable lessons and they would help me increase my future performances…"

"Big mistakes if you ask me," Brian interrupted. "The performances you could do are rain dances or some river dance. At the end of the day, room became the most flooded since Mickey Mouse's animated broomstick guys flooded an entire castle."

"But sir…" the trio said pleadingly.

"I've heard enough," Brian said. "I've got enough problem as it is without you adding to it. I've had a problem answering why the colour of my hair is the same colour as my clothes. And for that reason, Jessie…"

"Yes?" Jessie responded fearfully while Brian reached underneath his desk and taking out a gun.

"You're fired," Brian said, aiming the gun at her head before pulling the trigger.

Click!

Splut!

"AAAAGGHHHHH!!" Jessie screamed frightfully as she was knocked off her seat with a toy dart now stuck on her forehead.

"Oh dear," James said sympathetically. "She's going to get a red marking on that head when she takes it off."

"If she ever wants to take it off," Meowth said in surprise. "Either way, she still looks bad."

"James, Meowth," Brian said catching their attention.

"Yes?" they both responded to his attention.

"You're both fired too," Brian said nastily aiming his toy gun at them. "Who's next?"

Not wanting to get shot, James and Meowth ran out of the office as fast as they could… only to realise that they left Jessie behind as they ran back into the boardroom to pick her up and carry her out.

Two weeks later, while the Team Rocket trio kept on getting blasted off by some twerp's Pikachu, Brian was sitting inside his office, reading his newspaper with Tony giving him a massage. Brian impatiently placed it down. "Where the devil is my tea?" he asked aloud before hearing a knock on the door. "Come in."

A bald-headed man wearing a tuxedo came in with a silver tea set on a tray, walking with grace before he placed the tea on Brian's desk. "Jeeves," Brian said. "You've been working for the queen of England for many years before you started working here. It's been about ten minutes since I ordered tea. In your way, how do you make tea? I mean what took you so long?"

"Well, sir, I have been doing this kind of tea making since I started working for the queen," Jeeves started. "Firstly, while I wait for the kettle to boil, I had the tea set out. I placed a number of spoons of loose tea inside the teapot depending on how many people I was making it for, including one for the pot, in this case, two. Then, I poured the boiling water inside the teapot and gave it a stir, closed the teapot and left it for three minutes for the flavour to come out. I then placed a small strainer on cup so it would leave the leaves out while I poured out the tea. I then placed two lumps of sugar, which you asked for, to add in the sweetness before pouring in some milk to taste. That is how I made you, and the queen, a cup of tea."

Slightly dumbfounded, Brian looked down on his hot beverage before he looked at his new butler with a frown and said, "I think I'll have a cup of coffee tomorrow."

Suddenly, a robot barged into the room with an old man in a suit holding a remote control following it. The robot appeared to be six-sided cylinder shaped with a head with a shape of half of a ball. It had two guns sticking of its body like it was arms.

"Top of the morning, sir," the robot buzzed in a typical robot voice. "Yum, yum, yum, yum."

"Alright, Brian," the old man said joyfully pressing various buttons on the controller.

"Bill, what is that?" Brian asked. "Tell me you didn't buy this from ebay."

"Yes, I did, Brian," Bill said happily. "This is a Servant Dalek X3000. I remembered you saying that you need to servant so I bought you one. Now, who wants some scrambled eggs? Tony?"

He looked at Tony, who was now wearing a raincoat. "Why that suit, old chum?" Jeeves asked.

Tony held up a sign marked, 'You'll see.'

Bill pressed another button. "Head's up," the robot warned before the hatch on its head opened shooting out some yellow blob, which made a huge splat on Tony's raincoat hat.

"How about having yours fried, Brian?" Bill asked, still pressing buttons on his remote.

"I'd rather not," Brian replied dully. He spoke too late, as the hatch on the Servant Dalek's chest opened, revealing two fried eggs on a frying pan on a board. With a flick, the eggs shot out of the pan and hit Brian in the face but it didn't faze him except he shook his head in annoyance.

Bill noticed a red button at the top right of his controller. "Do not press?" he asked himself reading the label. "I wonder why?" he continued as he pressed the button.

"Default mode! Default mode!" the robot buzzed alarmingly. "Exterminate! Exterminate! Where is the doctor?"

"Doctor who?" Brian asked.

"Exterminate! Exterminate!" the robot alarmingly buzzed repeatedly before shooting out sprays of tea out of its guns. Everyone reacted by ducking down to the floor, not wanting to be soaked by some hot beverage.

While everyone hid themselves away, Jerry and Patchy strolled inside the office. They were both eating a banana each and Brian spotted them. "Guys! Do something," he cried.

"Chupa!" Patchy squeaked while holding his paw up. He whispered inside Jerry's ear and they giggled at the idea. They both went a distance away from each other and looked at the robot. They then aimed tossed their half-eaten bananas and they got stuck inside the guns, making it not able to shoot anymore.

They both yelled out their cries, which would be translated 'Bull's eye!' Everyone stood up and looked at the robot with nasty smiles on their faces. "You won't be doing that anymore now will you?" Brian said smugly.

But suddenly, the robot started to shake furiously, much to everyone's puzzlement. It began buzzing various words while spinning around at high speed. "It's gonna blow!" Brian yelled warningly as everyone began to hide.

Soon, the robot stopped spinning. "Knickers," it buzzed randomly.

KABOOM!

The robot exploded into smithereens, covering the whole room with soot and smoke. Everyone got out of their hiding places, also covered in black filth while waving away the smog and coughing.

"Coffee, sir?" Jeeves asked politely seeing the tea set in ruins.

"Yes, please," Brian replied after letting out a small sigh while the robot's dismembered head fell and crashed on top of Tony's.

END!


	17. The Pretty Short Stories of Bill Fireman

_A/N: No serious comedy or description here, just some random stuff that came into mind. If a mod wants to close this, it's okay._

The Pretty Short Stories Of Bill Fireman (Comedy/Parody One-Shot) Rated: K+

Hello, people. You people should know me, the name's Brian Powell, the guy everybody hates. If you don't, then you must be new, blind, deaf or dumb. Or all of the four. Speaking of which, there's this one guy who's not blind or deaf… but he's definitely dumb. Ever heard of Bill Fireman? Remember BP's Christmas Carol? Jerry the Feraligatr Hunter? Happy Bad Day? The Janitor? Of course you don't because you don't know talent if it smacked you in the face.

**Bill's Ride**

Ever had the very least expected happen to you?

We were sitting in a living room of my mansion, watching some TV. It was showing two women having a chat inside a café after not seeing each other for so many years. They were both inside a café wearing some casual clothing, nothing special.

"So, when am I going to meet this Falco?" one of the women asked.

"I don't think so," the other woman replied. "Falco's a bird."

"Yeah, Falco's a bird," I said with a shrug. "Very unlikely that a bird named Falco would come and pick you up."

"(Bill, ship's here)," growled Tony's voice behind us. In case you don't know. He's this big green dinosaur known as a Tyranitar. I only hired him because even though he was the last guy I wanted to hire after interviewing a bunch of people, no one else want to take the job as an assistant. When I asked them to rub Bill's feet, they all grossed out.

Moving on, I was like, "A ship? Outside my house?" You could probably picture my face when I said that. If you don't, then you have no imagination.

Bill and I stood up from our seats and walked to the door. There was a bloke standing in some sort of space pilot uniform with a falcon's head, which surprised me a lot. I was even more surprised that he had this big flying spaceship behind him, waiting to pick Bill up.

Bill looked at his watch and tapped on it a couple of times. "I'll be ready in twenty minutes, Falco, alright?" Bill said.

"The meter's running by the way," Falco warned.

**Bill Interviews**

Ever had to interview a bunch of weird people… or things?

One time, Bill was sitting in a boardroom at one side of a table, showing a serious look on his face, talking to a bunch of people who applied for some job. "Okay, people! Listen up!" he said. "I've learnt a lot since that Janitor story and I don't want to go down that road where Brian went. This is a serious job that you guys wanna do, not some comedy show! We don't like Friends! We don't like Animaniacs! We don't like The Simpsons! We don't like Family Guy! We don't like Naruto! We don't like Wednesdays! So, if any of you lot came here to get your fifteen minutes of fame, then you can just buzz off! Comprende!?"

Guess who he was talking to? A bunch of teddy bears, a clown, a mime, two dancers, a glamour model, a psychic, and George Bush.

"Okay, Winnie the Pooh," Bill said turning to one of his teddy bears. "Are you interested in working long hours for minimum wage?"

No answer.

"That is exactly what I want to hear. Well done."

Bill's Cheese

Ever been confused with one thing for something else?

You know those cheese shows where there would be judges judging the cheeses by tasting? Well, Bill sees them cheese shows in a different way. I told him that we're going to one the other day. Well, he took out three different blocks of cheese and a tube of Squeezy-Cheese and placed them on the nearby kitchen table. He was pointing at them one by one while barking out orders.

"Alright, Stilton, you go first, be prepared to be cut up into wedges. Edam, take your red jacket off, let's see some of your flesh. Cheddar, stay right where you are, you're doing a great job. And Cheese-Squeeze," he said as he picked up the tube of creamy cheese. "Get off my cheese board!" he yelled before chucking that tube of cheese away.

He'll be confused with chicks for 'chicks' next.

**Bill Knits**

Ever knitted something while doing something apart from watching telly or listening to the radio at the same time?

One time, Tony and I were standing next to pathway leading to my garage. "Tony," I said dully. "What do you see?

"(Well)," Tony growled. "(I see a closed garage next to your white mansion with green hedges surrounding both buildings, apart from the front. Why do you ask)?"

"Tony… someone stole my car."

I could pretty much guess who took my car. Yes, it was Bill. I should've made a better effort hiding those car keys. What was more peculiar than that was that he was knitting and driving the car at the same time. What was worse was that a traffic warden on his motorcycle saw what he was doing. He drove next to the car and said to Bill, "Pull over."

"Nope! A pair of socks," Bill said holding them up.

Allow him one! Well, allow me one, he's not the guy who pays fines!

**Bill Learns**

Ever learnt something from the telly?

He was watching a drama program one time, mainly involving doctors and nurses. At times, he does learn something.

"The great thing about the human body is that there are a pair of things," the doctor on TV said to a patient. "Arms, legs, ears, hands, lungs. If we lose one of the pair, we ought to have a backup."

Taking in what the doctor said, Bill stuck his finger up one of his nostrils. And astonishingly to him…

"I can still breathe!" he exclaimed excitedly.

Oh shame.

**Bill's Fortune  
**  
Ever had your fortune told… in exchange for a cookie or a packet of them?

Bill and Tony were walking down a road after doing some shopping. Tony was carrying all the shopping while Bill only held a packet of cookies, munching as they walked along. "(Hey, Bill)," Tony growled. "(You better be careful with those cookies)."

"Why's that?" Bill asked.

"(I heard about this guy called 'Cookie-gatr'. He loves cookies, hence the name and he would do anything to get them, especially yours)."

"Well then, we have to keep our eyes open. If you see or hear this 'Cookie-gatr' let me know."

"(Hey! There he is)!" Tony roared loudly as he spotted a blue crocodile, called a Feraligatr with cookie crumbs all over his jaw. He had his head out of bushes of a nearby park but he quickly ducked down in a panic when Tony warned Bill loudly.

"Now, don't shout," Bill said. "If you shout, Cookie-gatr will hear you."

As they continued strolling, they noticed a machine the same size as a vending machine but their were no food or drink on display. They both read the following the words, 'have your fortune told, insert one packet of cookies'. The words led to an arrow pointing at a hole of the machine.

"(Er… wait a minute)," Tony growled suspiciously.

"Ooh! I love to have my fortune told," Bill said excitedly before putting the cookies into the hole. Then, there was some munching sound.

"(I hear munching)," Tony growled. "(I think a Feraligatr munches like that. I think it's the Cookie-gatr)."

"Cookie-gatr? I don't hear Cookie-gatr," Bill replied as he waited for his fortune.

After the sound of munching was done, a small card slid out from another hole of the machine. Bill took the card and read the following words aloud, "You will be kissed by a grateful Cookie-gatr."

Suddenly, the machine opened and Cookie-gatr happily jumped out of it, giving Bill a big kiss on the check. "(Thank you, old man)," he growled joyfully before skipping away, leaving Tony with a dull face and a surprised Bill.

Bill became slightly disappointed in himself because he just lost his cookies. "I'm hungry," he muttered.

To tell you something, Bill took an IQ test once and the results came back negative.

**Bill's Date**

Bill was all dressed up for a blind date once. He wrote up this poem to express his romantic side for his date. I got it right here...

_Roses are red  
Violets are blue  
I'm a fellow  
And so are you_

Yes... don't you see why it won't work, Bill? Actually, he couldn't be more correct here, folks. It turned out that his blind date was a fellow named Benny.

Hmm… I wonder who set up that date then. Hehe.

**Bill's Half**

Ever took things literally?

One night, I was sleeping in my bed after an honest day's work. By the way, as you all should know, I'm talent critic but there are people out there who say that it's not even an honest job. What do they know? Anyway, it was about one o'clock in the morning and I heard the doorbell. I was expecting Tony to get that, it's his job after all, and I'm paying him to those things. Still, who would come to my house at this time of night?

Tony never answered the door, that lazy moron. The doorbell keeps on ringing and ringing. I've had enough and went downstairs, which I must say it's a long way down. I ought to order a slide and an elevator. I answered the door and what annoyed me is that no one was there.

I was walking back to my room and I found Bill trying to get away with my pillow when he exited my room. "Bill! What are you doing with pillow?" I shouted. "Where's your pillow?"

"Your pillow's better than mine!" Bill cried, acting like a bratty kid. To tell you people something, when you get older and when people say something like you're 'eighty-years-young'… they don't mean that you're actually 'young'.

Anyway, he goes on saying stuff like, "You got more clothes than I do! You got better shoes than I do! You're pillow is more fluffier, more cuddlier, and more softer than mine!"

"I don't care what you say," I said grabbing my pillow. "This is my pillow and you're gonna give it back to me."

"No! I want the pillow! I want the pillow! I want the pillow!"

"Okay! Okay! Okay! Tell you what, I'll buy you one tomorrow but you're giving me my pillow back!"

"No!! No! No! No! No! No!"

"Okay, fine. We'll share it," I said calmly.

That calmed him down. "Share?" he asked.

"Yes, share."

"You mean, I have half and you have half?"

"Yes!" I said. Man, this guy really ticks me off sometimes.

"Okay!"

RIIIP!

If you take away those two other 'I's in that sound effect above, you'll notice a particular word… He ripped my pillow in half! What the…?

"Thank you!" he said happily as he skipped away with half of the pillow, not to mention leaving a bunch of fluff on the floor. That pillow cost like… fifty bucks! Why did he have to take this 'half' thing literally!?

END! 


	18. The Best Way To Get Things

**The Best Way To Get Things... (Comedy/Parody One-Shot)** Rated: K

Once upon a time, there were two cute little creatures playing tag in the woods. One was a little baby mouse, a Pichu named Jerry, with yellow fur and pink circled cheeks. The second was a white and blue furry squirrel with yellow cheeks called a Pachirisu, but everyone calls him Patchy.

They were all playing happily when suddenly they heard some screaming and whistling sounds from above before they a huge crashing noise nearby. They went there to check what or who it was that made those noises.

It turned that to be two people in black and white uniform with a pink 'R' on each of their tops, a small cat called a Meowth and a blue blob creature called Wobbuffet. They were lying down deep inside a hole with black burnt marks on their bodies.

"(Oh, look it's our vict… I mean our friends)!" Jerry squealed in delight.

"(Hey! Can we play with you guys)?" Patchy squeaked hopefully.

"James! Meowth!" the dark woman said angrily as she quickly stood up looking down on the light purpled haired man. "When I said to buy some electric proof nets, I didn't mean for you to get them with flowers on them."

"But Jessie, they had those cute looking Weepingbell pictures on them," James said pleasantly.

"And the net smelt so pleasant too," Meowth said relaxingly, who appears to be under effect of that smell.

"And because of that, those Beedrills ripped our net apart!" Jessie yelled.

"(Did you guys get shocked by Pikachu again)?" Jerry squeaked smugly.

Jessie turned around and saw the little rascals. Now showing a dull frown look she picked Meowth up by the head and slapped him silly for being stupid and to also wake him up from that pleasant daze. "Ow! Wot's de idea!?" Meowth complained.

"Translation, what else?" Jessie said bitterly.

"Wobbuffet!" the blue blob croaked loudly while placing a paw on his head in a saluting manner. There was no translation behind this, he just like to croak things out.

Meowth paid attention to the little rascals, translating what they were saying. "They said that it's been over five years since we made a vow to capture that twerp's Pikachu no matter what… and we still haven't caught it…" he continued on interpreting as the list went on and on and on. "They also said that we are so pathetic that we's got done by a Magikarp and a Feebas…"

"Wait a minute, how did you jokers know all of this stuff?" Jessie asked, little bit curious.

After Patchy told her his answer, Meowth translated, "you guys should watch the show like the rest of us."

A vain throbbed on Jessie's forehead. After being reminded of all those humiliations and now being criticised by these two pests, who wouldn't be?

"Alright, you two brats!" she snarled. "Set us a stealing challenge and we'll get you that thing! Anything you want!"

"Er… Jessie," Meowth said nervously as he sensed an evil aura coming out of the so innocently cute Jerry and Patchy. "I woulda kept that to myself if I were you."

The next day, a man dressed in black leather clothing was walking through a crowded street reading a small but thick yellow book with a picture of a motorbike at the front. It turned that it was a catalogue. Everyone else walking in the same street kept their distances from him, as they were being scared of him. Even vehicles made way for him when he crossed roads.

Jerry, his friends and Team Rocket were hiding in the bushes spying on him as the black clothed man entered a fast food restaurant still reading his book. "(Try taking on that guy)!" Jerry squeaked, which meant, "(That's Black Jack. He's the toughest and meanest trainer around)!"

Team Rocket trembled with fear.

"Dat guy?" Meowth moaned nervously.

"Can't we settle for tings a little less aggressive? Like a book from a library?" James said worriedly.

"(You want to back out? I guess it's safe to say that you're like this Meowth… scared. You're scared as well as you're stupid)," Patchy squeaked.

"What!? I ain't afraid of you or anybody else!" Meowth shouted.

"Er… Meowth," James said, trying to get Meowth to not go and steal from a man who liked to beat people up. "I don't know what he said but don't be fooled… I beg you…"

Inside the restaurant, Black Jack was sitting at a table waiting for his food to be delivered after he ordered a hamburger, some French fries and a cup of coffee. While he waited, he suddenly had a suspicious feeling that someone may play a prank on him. He looked up, predicting an anvil or some other object to fall on him. Nothing was there. He looked underneath a table, thinking that a bomb might there but there was nothing. Having enough looking, he was convinced that nothing's going to happen.

Soon, the food was delivered to him. He picked up his burger and observed it closely. While he did that, a gloved hand was slowly reaching for the book from underneath the table.

"Are you there yet?" Jessie whispered, seeing James nervously reaching for the catalogue. They were discreetly hiding under the table, trying to not make any noises or anything else to get Black Jack's attention.

"Just a few seconds," James whispered back, who sweating beads because of the pressure he was going through.

"Oh my gosh! Team Rocket!" a voice yelled, surprising the trio, making them scream. A chubby man in street clothing ran over to them with a pen and a notepad. "My name's Malik! I think you guys are great! I've seen all your one-shots! Can I have your autographs!?"

"You're ruining everything!" Jessie yelled angrily.

Outside the restaurant, sounds of bashing and beating were heard while clouds of dust were sent flying out. "The food's great," Black Jack said casually as he calmly made his exit while reading his book. "Ciao."

That stopped what Team Rocket was doing. Jessie was beating up the poor man while James and Meowth tried to pull her off until they realised how fast Black Jack ate his meal.

"Eh?" Meowth said in a surprised way. "Dat was fast."

They decided to follow Black Jack wherever he went, making sure he doesn't see them. They followed him through a market. This time had a blue crocodile pokemon called a Feraligatr with him to help him carry some groceries, with the book placed in one of the bags. While they walked, Feraligatr spotted a market stall with a bunch of…

"(Ooh! Pokemon dolls)!" Feraligatr growled before running towards the stall to take a closer look while his trainer followed.

"Feraligatr, what are you doing?" Black Jack asked when he reached it.

"(I wanna see if I can find a doll version of me)!" Feraligatr growled in reply

He quickly spotted a cuddly toy that looked a like him. He placed the groceries down and picked it up. "(Kids would like this! They'd wake up in the middle of the night and see this little thing, get scared and all that)!" he growled joyfully before He moved it towards Black Jack's face while moving its arms, throwing his voice over like it was some sort of puppet. "(Raa! Raa! Go to sleep)!" he growled loudly, making the doll put on a scary act.

He placed the doll down with a big smile on his face while Black Jack gave him a dull look and the stall owner gave him a scared one. "No one, apart from me and this guy, were watching so everything's good," Black Jack said before walking away.

"(Hey! That was good! C'mon)!" Feraligatr growled dejectedly while picking up the groceries before following him.

While they walked away, Team Rocket was still trailing them, trying to find the right time to steal the catalogue. They disguised themselves as bushes, even though they were following them in the street. "Jessie," James whispered in a whining sort of way as usual. "It's been thirty minutes and they're still holding on to those bags."

"Shut up, James," Jessie complained quietly.

"Yeah, ya gonna blow our cover," Meowth said also being quiet.

"Wobbuffet," Wobbuffet croaked.

Feraligatr immediately stopped, placing a paw on Black Jack's shoulder and letting out a small growl. Panicking, the trio and Wobbuffet quickly hid in the nearest alleyway. "Thanks a lot, you three," Jessie whispered angrily. "Now we're in trouble."

"How's it ma fault?" Meowth argued.

"Ssh," James responded to his two partners, trying to quiet them down.

The suspicious looking Feraligatr pulled the annoyed Black Jack backwards close towards the bushes. "Now you've done it," Jessie snarled.

Feraligatr's eyes widened with excitement. "(What!? Into a movie)!?" he growled. He and Black Jack were looking at a poster that hanged on the wall of a building, where Team Rocket was hiding from around the building's corner. The poster had a picture of a cheery looking red winged lizard dancing around in a playground with some children doing the same thing. The poster was labelled 'Bobby the Happy Charizard: The Movie'.

"Bobby!?" Black Jack said in absolute shock and disbelief. "That 'one-plus-one-is-two' guy!?"

"(I'm going to get reserve tickets)!" the crocodile growled excitedly as he began sprinting away.

Black Jack shuddered at the thought of allowing his friend to see that 'thing' and tried to think of the best reason not to see that movie, no matter how heart breaking it would be. "It's just a man in a suit! Really!" he shouted to him.

But Feraligatr didn't hear him as he happily skipped into the movie theatre, with Black Jack hurrying to catch up with him. Relieved, yet puzzled, Team Rocket got out of their disguise. "Feraligatr? He likes dat sorta stuff?" Meowth asked.

"Never mind that," Jessie said. "Let's get them!

They followed Black Jack's example as they rushed into the theatre, trying to catch Black Jack and his pokemon out and more importantly get the catalogue. But to their surprise, they weren't there. "Huh? Where did dey go?" Meowth asked in puzzlement.

"Weren't they in here earlier?" James asked in a confused way.

"They're gone?" Jessie asked in bewilderment.

"Not exactly," said a familiar scratchy voice behind the trio, which spooked the wits out of them. Not only were they taken by surprise but they also recognised the voice. "What do you want?" the voice said suspiciously.

Team Rocket slowly turned around with frightened eyes until the suspicious Black Jack and his Feraligatr. "N… Noth… nothing," they replied nervously.

Black Jack's eyes narrowed as he moved in closer towards them while they shivered in fear.

Elsewhere, an egg was being broken, spilling its contents into a mixing bowl.

Back at Black Jack's location, the Rocket grunts were wrapped up a net, which was hanging from the top of the ceiling inside the building and was swinging back and fourth. They cried for anyone to help release them while Black Jack dusted his hands. "Unbelievable. I can't believe they fell for that." Black Jack said smugly. "I mean what kind of tough Feraligatr would some kiddies' film that does some number stuff."

Feraligatr became stuck for an answer. "(Yeah… it's, um… stupid)," he growled sheepishly.

"C'mon, let's go," Black Jack said before turning his attention back to his catalogue of motorcycles.

"Black Jack! Feraligatr! Anybody! Help! Let us down!" the failing sneaky trio cried.

A day later after getting themselves free, Team Rocket was stalking Black Jack while hiding themselves in trashcans. They followed him to a restaurant; different in appearance compared to the restaurant he visited the other day. When he entered the building, the trio got into a group circle, discussing their upcoming cunning plan, which Jessie claims that would not fail and therefore she called it the 'The Never Failing Plan'.

Inside, a man dressed in casual clothing walked up the counter and looked at the food before making his decision. "I'll have some spaghetti bolognaise," he said dully to the food clerk. For some odd reason, he appeared to be in a bad mood.

"You'll need a tray," the food clerk said. He was an old man with name badge signed 'Bill Fireman' on his uniform.

"Do you know who you're talking to, son?" the man said bitterly. "My name is Billy the Bully! I can knock you out with one punch!"

"Well, you still need a tray."

"I don't need a tray to beat you up! I can use a tray to beat the heck out of you if I wanna to! I can just hit a tray on top of your and then kick you in the…"

"No, the food is hot. You need the tray to put the food on."

Billy looked down on the food and a surprised look came onto his face. "Oh, that!" he said in realisation. "I thought you were challenging me to a fight."

"A fight? This is a restaurant. I work here."

"Yeah, but my name's Billy. Everyone challenges me to fights," the man said, trying to get the clerk to recognise him. "Billy the Bully? The guy who gets into fights every night? The guy who has a bigger winning streak than that bald wrestling guy? New Bark Town? I run New Bark Town?

"What's New Bark Town?" Bill asked dimwittedly.

"You're in New Bark Town! It's a place!"

"This is a town?"

"This is New Bark Town! I run it as the big boss!"

"You're Mr. Smithson?"

Billy's eyes widened with confusion. "Who's Mr. Smithson?" he asked.

"He's the manager of this restaurant."

"I'm not head of catering! I can beat catering with one punch!" Billy shouted angrily. The old clerk became dumbfounded.

"…Wha…?"

"I can beat you with one punch!" Billy shouted. "I can knock out myself with one punch! I… I… I'll get a tray…" he finished, finally deciding to give up. He walked over to a nearby pile of trays, looking for a dry one. Unfortunately…

"This one's wet. This one's wet. This one's wet. This one's wet. This one's wet. This one's wet. This one's wet. This one's wet. This one's wet. This one's wet. This one's wet. This one's wet. This one's wet. This one's wet. This one's wet. This one's wet. This one's wet. This one's wet. This one's wet. This one's wet. This one's wet. This one's wet. This one's wet. Did you guys dry these in the pouring rain? Why the heck don't we have a plate that is dry and…?" He turned around, seeing a guy in black, with a motorcycle catalogue tucked inside his jacket and a tray in his hands, standing at the counter. "Hey!" he shouted. "I was here first!"

"Hey, if you want food, get in the queue," the man responded bitterly before turning his attention back to Bill. "Yeah, can I have some spaghetti bolognaise, thanks?"

"Hey! Do you know who I am?!"

"That's Betty, that is," Bill said.

"From the Ugly Betty show?" the man in black asked.

"It's not Betty! It's Billy," the man shouted.

"Betty owns this town?" Bill asked. "I thought she does this magazine stuff on TV?"

"No! Bet… no! I run this town!" Billy said.

"Are you really the Ugly Betty?" the man in black asked.

"No! It's Billy!"

"Are you her brother? Can you get her autograph?" Bill asked.

"I can't get… I'm not Bet… all right! I'm Betty! I'm Ugly Betty!"

"Can I have your autograph?" the man in black asked.

"No! Buzz off! I'll kill you with a tray!" Billy shouted, snatching the tray out of the black clothed man. "Give me some bolognaise or I'm gonna beat you up! I'll beat all of you up! Momma says to knock you all out!"

Suddenly, the Team Rocket burst into the scene with Jessie in front of her two partners and a blue blob called Wobbuffet who seemingly appeared out of nowhere. "Ah-ha, Mr. Black Jack!" Jessie yelled in triumph. "Thanks to that Billy man, we've caught you off guard! Now, we're going to use this sleeping potion and…"

Before she could finish, she dropped her bottle onto the floor in shock, as where her two partners, after what they just saw… the man in black, known as Black Jack, was standing over the knocked out Billy while holding the tray. "I had feeling some guy was following me," he said before stepping towards his upcoming victims.

Team Rocket, now at his mercy, got down on their knees and started bowing to him. "We surrender!" they whimpered fearfully. "We're not worthy!"

"I don't wanna hear it," Black Jack said bitterly.

Team Rocket shuddered in fear, knowing what was coming next.

Elsewhere, someone was reviewing an online fanfiction. "What the heck?" he said in annoyance. "This fic's terrible!"

Suddenly, a fist zoomed out of the computer screen and punched the guy in the face, knocking him off his chair.

Back at the restaurant, Team Rocket was now stuck in a net, hanging from the ceiling. "We're stuck in the same net as before! We're swinging in the same way as before! We're stuck in the same position as before!" James whimpered.

Black Jack dusted his hands before turning his attention back to Team Rocket. "Hey, who are you guys anyway?" he asked.

"Waah! Just like Brian from dat Christmas Carol story! He doesn't recognise us!" Meowth said tearfully.

"Never mind," Black Jack said in boredom before turning his attention back to the food clerk. "Yeah, can I have some pasta bolognaise? That would be nice."

"Would you like peas with that?" Bill asked politely, ignoring Team Rocket who were screaming their lungs out.

"I don't think peas go with… alright, pour some on."

Soon, a little Pichu named Jerry and a Pachirisu named Patchy ran into the restaurant, now seeing the mess Black Jack caused and couldn't help but chortle. They skipped over to him while the food clerk delivered him his food. The Rocket Three couldn't help but give them some evil glares, hating them for putting them up to the challenge. When Black Jack turned around he saw the two cute little creatures and looked at them vacantly. "Hi, Jerry. Hi, Patchy," he said casually.

"(Hi, Jacky)!" they squealed together happily.

They both moved their eyes towards the squirming Rockets for a quick second before turning to their friend. "(Hey, Black Jack)," Jerry squeaked. "(Can I borrow something from you)?"

"What?"

"(That motorcycle catalogue. I wanna know what's good about it)."

Black Jack placed his hand inside his jacket and took out the book. "Here you can keep it. It's last year's edition," he said.

"Wha-a-a-a-at!?" the Rockets yelled in total shock and disbelief.

"Why couldn't we have dun sumtin like dat!?" Meowth yelled angrily.

"We're thieves, aren't we?" James whimpered while Black Jack and his little friends walked away.

"Hey! Black Jack! Please let us down! Hey!" Jessie cried angrily.

Black Jack ignored them. "So, I'll be having my lunch now. You joining?" he asked.

"(Nah! We got some little things to do)," Patchy squeaked. He and Jerry turned towards the trio and stuck their tongues out, taunting them.

"Why you nauseating little brats!" Jessie snarled while she angrily moved around inside the net. "I'll make you twerps pay for…"

Snap!

The net broke after all that squirming and the trio and Wobbuffet fell and crashed to the ground while Patchy and Jerry made their getaway. "Don't let them get away!" Jessie screamed as she and her partners began chasing them out of the restaurant while Black Jack sat down and began eating his lunch, pretending that nothing was happening.

BOOM!

There was a sudden explosion from outside, catching Black Jack's attention as he looked outside the window. He now saw Team Rocket flying through the air, leaving a trail of smoke behind. "We're blasting off again!" they screamed.

"Wobbuffet!" the blue blob croaked loudly.

"Wow… they're flying," Black Jack said in amazement before Team Rocket went out of sight.

"Fool! Fool!" a black bird, called a Murkrow, squawked as he flew over the restaurant while dropping a small white splat.  
--------------------------------------------  
END! 


	19. Presents Inheritance

**Presents Inheritance (Comedy/Parody One-Shot Special Christmas Special)**

_Rated PG13 due to censored swearing… and don't expect this to be an award or contest winner._

A large group of people and pokemon gathered inside a boardroom of an office building. One part of the group were a bunch of chubby faced people dressed mainly in black. They were called the Tuskbournes. The other groups consisted of characters from some fics such as Pokemon Impact, Goldenrod High and one-shots that were written by one of the most hated authors and critics in the fanfic industry… Brian Powell.

His assistant Tony, a large green dinosaur known as a Tyranitar came in wearing a necktie. He sat at one end of the table. "(Good morning, everyone)," he growled in a dull voice. "(As you all may know, Mr. Brian Powell has decided to go on vacation for the holiday season. As his assistant, I've been empowered to read out the list of presents he wishes to send off)…"

"(Well, get on with it! Bobby the Happy Charizard Christmas Special starts in half-an-hour)!" Mike roared impatiently. He was a tall blue crocodile-like monster, known to many as a Feraligatr.

"Again with the Bobby thing," the man dressed in black mumbled dully. He was known to Pokemon Impact fans as Black Jack. "It's still a man in a suit, y'know, like Father…"

"Oh, Brian! Brian!" Jessie wailed tearfully. She was the control freak of the Team Rocket, which also consisted of James and Meowth. "Why must you leave us? Why!"

"He's not dead, Jessie," Meowth said.

"(Then why is he making this scene sound like he is dead)?" Patchy, the little white squirrel Pachirisu, squeaked.

"(Because to him, holidays are dead)," Jerry the little mouse known as a Pichu squeaked back. The characters around him couldn't help but feel awkward towards that remark. No one expected a cute little thing like a Pichu say stuff like that.

"Will you (DONG!)ing shut the (WOOHOO!) up!" Maggie Tuskbourne yelled angrily.

"Oh, how predictably annoying," whispered one of the student characters from Goldenrod High.

"Ssh, Bonnie's about to read something," the old man known as Bill whispered.

"(If we are all seated, I shall proceed with the reading)," Tony growled.

"Meh," whispered another student from Goldenrod High.

Tony began to read Brian's 'will' aloud. "(I, Brian Powell, being of sound, mind and body)…"

"That's a laugh!" Black Jack said loudly before bursting out laughing.

"(To divide up the presents as follows… to my neighbours, the Tuskbournes and their dog pokemons)…"

"Oi! Why the (YEEHAW!) can't you (EE-HEE!) do us first!" Maggie shouted.

"Shut the (BAYBAY!) up, Maggie," Karen complained. "He's talking about us."

"Oh."

"…(Who constantly shout out swear words, constantly making sound effects, allowing their dogs to make their messes in my expensive garden and, worst, made fun out of my genius)…"

"Wha…?"

"(To the Tuskbournes and their precious dogs, I leave… a boot to each of their heads)."

Large empty black boots came flying across the room from nowhere, hitting each one of the Tuskbournes.

"(And a falling anvil to Team Rocket)."

"What?" Jessie shouted before the said heavy metal object came crashing down on her and her wimpy partners. Black Jack couldn't help but laugh at their bad luck.

"This is a (HOMER!)ing outrage!" Karen shouted.

"I'm gonna get that (LALA!)ing (BONG!)" Maggie shouted.

"You're all (FLIP!)ing mad!" Fuzzy mumbled loudly.

"(But still, you are my neighbours. You people admired my SUV and since I won't be needing it for the holidays)…"

"Oh, dear Brian!" Karen squealed in delight, as were the rest of her family. "He's too (DING!)ing kind!"

"(I bequeath another bunch of boots to their heads)."

Tuskbournes became shocked of that before getting hit in the heads by a bunch of boots that flew towards.

"(And another anvil to Team Rocket)!"

"Anuder one?" Meowth complained after he and his team mates managed get themselves free. Unfortunately, a different anvil fell on top of them. Black Jack laughed at them again.

"(Next, to the cast of Pokemon Impact)," Tony announced.

"Hey! I ain't getting no boot to the head," Black Jack said immediately, predicting what was coming.

"(Despite putting all your efforts in and still not get a single review let alone an award)…"

"Cover your heads, guys!" Jerry Tickler warned. Everyone, along with him, who starred in the Pokemon Impact series did so.

"(I leave three crates of my finest whisky and three months supply of burgers)."

"Really?" Black Jack and Jerry Tickler asked, now becoming pleasantly surprised.

"(And a frying pan to one of your heads)."

The said item came from across, aiming for Black Jack's head. But he grabbed Jerry Tickler by his jacket and used him to protect himself as the frying pan hit Jerry in the face before being dropped.

"(And another falling anvil to Team Rocket)," Tony growled.

Another large and heavy anvil came crashing down on Team Rocket after they got out of their last entrapment.

"(Next, to the cast of Goldenrod High)…" Tony continued, reading Brian's Christmas Will.

"This is getting ridiculous now," mumbled one of student characters.

"(I leave a book to one of their heads)."

As the mumbling student expected, a really thick and hard book as was thrown at him, hitting a huge bonk on the head. "Ow! I knew it," he said.

"Ha ha!" laughed the blond student tauntingly.

"(And another falling anvil to Team Rocket)," Tony growled.

"Not again," James whimpered before he and his friends got squashed by another falling anvil.

"(Next are the characters of my one-shots)…" Tony continued.

Jerry and Patchy became concerned of what they might get. "(Er… we don't anything)," Jerry cooed.

"(Who got me many reviews through a number of years, made people laugh and cry, brought me pride, joy and awards)…"

"(We didn't mind)!" Patchy squeaked joyfully.

"(To those guys, I bequeath… some pies to their faces).

Jerry and Patchy squealed in panic as they and the other characters ran behind Bill who got splattered by a bunch of pies thrown at him. He curiously picked up one of the pieces and placed it in his mouth. "Mmm! Apple!" he beamed delightfully before another pie splattered on his face.

"(And a falling piano to Team Rocket)," Tony read aloud.

"Oh no," Jessie complained. "Not another…"

KABONG!

This time, the said item came crashing down on them. "Look on the bright side," Meowth muffled from underneath the crashed piano. "At least it's not an anvil."

"(And to my assistant, Tony)," the dinosaur continued. "(I leave him the Boogeyman who is now standing right behind him)."

He turned around and saw a tall goblin with red and black markings on his face and a wooden staff in hand with one of its ends alight with fire. He was laughing in an evil before he started singing. "Away in the manger, no crib for a bed. The little lord Jesus laid down his sweet head…" he sang slowly in a monster-like voice before going into his evil sn_i_gger.

With a dull look, Tony turned his attention back to the 'will'. "(And I leave ten thousand dollars to the rehab institute so that Cookie-gatr can get some proper help)," he read aloud.

Somewhere else in the building, inside the women's bathroom, a large blue crocodile with cookie crumbs all over his jaw was sitting on a toilet seat. He was squeezing some cookie dough from a tube onto a spoon before lighting up a lighter underneath the spoon. "(C'mon! C'mon)!" he growled desperately before a couple of Machamps barged in and quickly dragged out. "(Go away! You freaking hobbits, man! You freaking hobbits)!"

Back into the boardroom…

"I'm da Boogeyman!" the goblin shouted. "And I'm coming to… see if I got anything from Brian," he finished being less scary.

Tony looked back into Brian's will. "No," he replied.

Jerry Tickler quickly raised his hand. "Executive decision!" he said fearfully. "He can have the hamburgers!"

The characters couldn't believe that that was all they would get this holiday season.

"Is that it?"

"That's all?"

"That's (BOOYAH!)ing disgraceful!"

"(There's one last thing for everyone)," Tony informed.

"Cover your heads everybody!" Black Jack warned.

"(I leave everyone my favourite treat of the day)."

"Really!? What treat is it?" Bill asked excitedly.

"(Custard)."

Outside the building, a splashing was heard before loud screams of fright and disgust came on. It was so loud that the whole world could hear them, much to one particular man's glee.

"Why, Brian!?" Jessie screamed. "Why!?"

**END!**


End file.
